Once a Ballerina, Always a Ballerina

Back when Coco was 5, she didn't have much interest in dance, much less ballet.

I sent her to a ballet class to fulfil my own mommy dream of having a cute and pretty little ballerina. I simply love little ballerinas in their cute tutu and tiny hair bun.

She took ballet lessons till she was 8. In the process, I changed her to different ballet schools for different reasons, mostly for more competent teachers or schools that were more serious about ballet. She wanted to stay with a ballet school that played more than trained, but I saw little purpose in that. Above all, after more than a year in the same grade, the new teacher sent only a few girls for their graded exam, and she didn't seem to be sure when the girls would be ready for their exams. She told the rest of the girls that they would go for the next exam in a few months' time, but when the 'few months' came and passed, she said they would go for the next exam! I didn't want to be subjected to a guessing game, so I switched Coco to a Community Club with a small ballet class.

I liked the last ballet teacher actually. She was older and more experienced than most of the ballet teachers I had met. Parents were and still are welcomed to sit in the class, unlike other ballet classes Coco had been to.

However, she was too strict for Coco's taste. Coco's lack of practice at home was apparent to the teacher's trained eye and she was often singled out to repeat the dance steps the girls were instructed to do.

So after a while, Coco asked me to withdraw her from the class.

I accepted that my dream of having a daughter competent at ballet was not to be, and Coco stopped her ballet lessons at that. All of 8 years old and Grade Two.

Then some time this year, she suddenly told me she would like to learn ballet again.

When quizzed further, she replied that all her classmates were learning ballet and they had a certain graceful pose unique to dancers.

I was not so sure this time though.

It was her 'streaming year'. Although Coco is in an IP school where most students go through the through-train programme and continue their pre-university education at an integrated junior college, Sec 2 students who don't meet the promotion criteria are 'streamed' to an O level track class.

Coco was not exactly tip-toe in her performance in Sec 1, so we preferred her to focus on her academics this year to see if she was merely distracted by demanding CCA last year or she was indeed a bad fit for the Integrated Programme.

I told her,"Meet the promotion criteria and you can learn ballet again after exams."

As it is, she cleared her promotion criteria with grades better than what we had expected. So she got to learn ballet again.

Then came the herculean task of finding a ballet school for her.

As Coco is all of 14 years old now, the ballet schools I called up sounded reluctant or elusive when I asked for a graded ballet class. Most of them replied that they did not have such a class ie. 'old' kids as beginners and they were not willing to allow such a big kid to join the much younger ones at Grade Two. In fact, all of them were doubtful that Coco could join at Grade Two.  One proposed that Coco should join the adult class that did not have graded exams, which was not what I wanted. And there were still one or two who didn't bother to get back to me after promising to check with the teacher which class Coco could go!

I announced to Coco that she was discriminated because of her 'old age' and conveniently reminded her that I had warned her that learning ballet and piano has window periods.

Then it occurred to me that I could call the last ballet teacher that Coco was training under.

After giving her the information required, she asked to see Coco at a Grade Four class.

And Coco is now learning ballet under the same teacher.

Among smaller kids no doubt, but she is undaunted by the apparent difference. 

When asked how she felt about the first lesson, she replied that it was 'confusing' since there were many steps involved. On the other hand, her gymnastics CCA finally redeemed itself with some merits - Coco maintains a certain level of flexibility that the ballet teacher thought she would not have since she had stopped learning ballet for 6 years. The punishing rituals of bending and stretching beyond the girls' limits actually interests Coco to try out challenging bending poses from time to time so her body is still flexible enough to learn ballet.

Incidentally, the day we first met up with the ballet teacher, I saw a girl doing character dance through the peeping window.

While Coco was busy getting ready for her lesson, I told Coco that the girl in the class looked very graceful doing the character dance, and her outfit was beautiful.

When it was Coco's turn to peep through the window, she remarked,"She reminds me of Z. (one of her P1 and P2 best friends)"

When she opened the door, the two girls squealed in delight. She was indeed Z. Both of them were glad to meet each other again after all these years.

The demure and soft-spoken girl mentioned that as the years passed, her ballet classmates dropped the lessons one by one to cope with the academics or they had simply lost interest in ballet, but her love for ballet continued to burn throughout the years. She didn't stop her ballet lessons even when she was preparing for PSLE! It is heartwarming and refreshing to know that there is a teenager who is passionate about ballet. 

Again

Coco was at the coffee table with me sometime this week, and she spoke,"Mummy, I would like to learn ballet."

I was surprised.

I reminded her that she had been in and out of ballet several times. The last time she quit it, she was very determined. I actually told her,"If you want to give up ballet, I am going to withdraw you from all the courses. No more Science camps, no more piano lessons." I wanted to know the extent of her hatred for ballet.

She went away to her room for a while and came to me who was busy in the kitchen,"Mummy, I have decided: I really don't want to go for ballet anymore. And I will not go for anymore courses."

I was very surprised at the extent she would go to stop going for ballet classes.

I figured it wouldn't do her any good if I continued to force her to learn it, so I allowed her drop it.

Now she tells me she wants to do ballet again.

However, she still does not want to go back to the 'strict' teacher. She wants to go back to the CC where she had little or nil progress. I told her she might as well not learn ballet again if she wants that school because it does her very little good.

I definitely welcome the idea of restarting her on ballet. I will talk to her about it again and see where it leads us.

The Finale

I've finally consented to Coco's request of withdrawing from ballet class.

I thought it a pity that she's giving it up as she's been learning ballet since 4 years old.

We were having our breakfast at Mc Donald's and would set off for the ballet class after that. Coco begged me again,"I don't want to go for ballet ..."
I asked her for the reasons she doesn't want to go, and we listed down the reasons:

1) so that she can go for short Malaysia trips with my parents over weekends;
2) so that she can go for her friends' birthday parties if they fall on Saturdays;
3) she doesn't like being picked on during ballet class.

I asked her for the reasons she doesn't want to give up ballet as she said that she's in a dilemma 'cos half of her want to give up ballet and half of her doesn't want to:

1) so that she can keep long hair.

I did a quick reflection on myself when she went to do her business at the toilet.

I got her to do ballet at 4 'cos I wanted her to be exposed to ballet, be aware of such an avenue and be given a choice on whether she wants to dance.

In the first place, she wasn't enthusiastic about ballet. I wanted her to do it so that it may open more doors for her in different areas ie. when she grows up, she may want to do a dance course and ballet would build a good foundation for her footworks; If she ever wants to be an actress (since her idols are Felicia Chin and Jeanette Aw), being able to dance ballet would be an edge over others who doesn't do ballet or any form of dance; It's good for building her posture and poise; She wouldn't be a culture country bumpkin when others make cultural talks especially when they're on the topic of dance.

But alas! What I want for her may not be what she wants. Perhaps the teacher is a tad too strict for her, although this is the kind of teacher that I want for my kid. On the other hand, I would not like to be picked on all the time when I go for any class and be looked down upon by my peers.

I finally agreed.

She was happy for a while. Then she asked,"Mummy, are you disappointed?"
I rephrased it,"Am I disappointed that you don't want to do ballet anymore?"
She said,"Yes."
I replied,"Of course I am disappointed, but Mummy doesn't want to force you to do what you don't want."
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
I was surprised,"Why are you crying?"
The lady beside us looked at her for a second and looked away, and looked back at her again intermittenly.
She was speechless, and kept crying.
I asked her,"Is it because Mummy is disappointed?"
She nodded.
I told her,"Of course I am disappointed. You've been doing ballet for so long and you're giving it up. But Mummy doesn't want to force you. Stop crying. It's alright."

I'm glad that I've a daughter who feels for me. Disappointed as I am, I want her to have a choice in what she does.

Coco's Ballet Class

I've decided to switch Coco to a different CC for her ballet class.

Previously under Kavana Dance, the teacher, Evangeline, was good. She demonstrated dance steps and taught conscientiously. After she left Kavana, the class was taught by another teacher and Coco's progress had been slow. In fact, I can't even recall who the teacher was now.

Then, in November last year, Kavana Dance pulled out of the CC all of a sudden, citing expiry of contractual agreement as the reason. Subsequently, Kirov took over. When I enquired with the teacher in January this year, the China-born teacher said that the kids will take their exam in November. I found the fact that the school put all the children, regardless of whether the kids have gone through Primary Ballet or any ballet grade for that matter, together in one big class, uncomfortable but since the teacher had assured me that the kids will take their exam in November, I decided not to pursue.

But subsequently, William and I feel that this Kirov Dance School is not as 'professional'. Coco does the same steps for most classes. The teacher takes 5 - 10 mins to take attendance when the actual class time is only 45 mins.

Much as I was tempted to pull Coco out and put her in another CC under the UK syllabus instead of the Australian one, I hung on because of the better timing and Coco's attachment to her friend, on top of the fact that the teacher will get the kids to take their ballet exam in November this year.

The last straw came when Coco told me two weeks ago that her ballet teacher told them that besides those who received the notification letter of exam date, the rest will take their exam in 2009!

I was indignant. After a little talk with the coordinator of Kirov, I decided to take Coco out of this ballet school.

In any case, I'd found Kirov quite dubious when I first enquired with another coordinator about the school. She said she couldn't tell me the actual name of the dance school and that Kirov is actually a name they created for this CC for the purpose of conducting ballet classes. I find it queer and unusual that you can't even divulge the original name of the school. It makes me wonder if there's something they are doing 'illegally' or moonlighting, or they already have the intention of running the ballet classes on a fly-by-night basis and are all ready to take flight once they don't work out.