Cloud of shock

Throughout the weekend, I was like drifting in and out of reality and dream, in a state of shock that is still waiting to be appeased.

I couldn't believe what his mother had said and vice versa. I don't understand why he had to lie to us. Up till now, he doesn't want to come clean. And he's been really mean to me, hurting me using words. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to make excuses for him. I don't want to give him more opportunities to hurt me. Now I understand why I look badly in his parents and grandparents' eyes. He's been feeding them with ideas that I forced him to extort money from them. How could he do this to me? How could he use me for his own benefit? What do I mean to him, really? Does he even realise he's hurting me? He had been too considerate before marriage for me to think that he doesn't. Why did he marry me?

I want to believe that he does love me. If not, this marriage is just a sham.