No time

I haven't got the time to blog. I've been occupied with the menial jobs and manual tasks that come with the title of an English level rep, so much so I don't even have the time to mark although I stay in school from 7am to 4pm. I'm literally swamped with work every second. Did I mention I have my first meal at 4.30pm very often? Because I simply don't have the time to eat. I even have to run, literally, to answer my nature call. Yes, and only once at that, because I don't have the time to drink much water either.

The principal finally shared about the Grow package. It's abit different from what I thought it was. Apparently, there would be some 'goodies' if we choose to opt into the new scheme in April. Well, it's better than nothing. And there isn't much choice to it. It's basically a choice given to you, with the option taken out.

At school, the 'bag boy', as William calls him, is starting to get better. I kinda win him over a bit. I wanted to laugh when I feigned ignorance at the reason why his mother wanted to scold him just because I get him to stay back in school to finish up his work,"Oh dear ... why are you crying? Why should your mother scold you? You're just staying back to finish your work. Oh dear ... stop crying. I'll explain to your mother ... oh dear ..."

I realise that this boy does want to please teachers. He's not that slow in the intelligence department either. He needs alot of assurance that he's on the right track. He needs some praises.

I hope that I can get him on my side real soon.

At the school level, we're going to have a level remediation program, which I can't quite agree with. It gives everybody alot of work and makes everybody accountable for the children's results. Within two weeks, we're supposed to fix our targeted group of children, come up with a curriculum on a remediation program and complete it with individual detailed lesson plans and worksheets for every remedial lesson we have with the kids. I think it's unreasonable to expect so much to be done by two persons within a span of two short weeks. And the amount of workload that adds on will just demoralise everybody. I doubt it'll be effective.

Why can't the ministry see that teachers are also human beings who have morale to be boosted? We're just thrown heaps and heaps of work, and most of them meaningless and laborious at that, just because we believe in some idealism. Why can't changes in the education system be good? Why can't changes to the benefits for the education officers be good? Why are they 'never good', as put by one of the teachers who has taught for over forty years? Why are we never given a voice? Why are we never properly represented so that the public knows what kinda injustices we've been suffering? Why is our education system being dictated by people who know nuts about children and a decent education? Why should our children be struggling with the curriculum if our curriculum is effective? Why should we need Enabler program, LSProgram, remedial program, supplementary program if our curriculum is right for our children? Why should teachers battle with time just so that they could complete the curriculum 'on time'? Why should the enrichment and tuition centres be laughing all the way to the banks if our curriculum is designed around our children's needs instead of our children around the curriculum?

People ride on the moral high horse and chide teachers who are in the job for the money. What's so bad about being in the job for the money? Who doesn't work for a livelihood? It's people who harbour aspirations and ideals who go to the asylum. I don't want to add to that statistic. I want to remain sane and have time with my Coco. I don't want to take my frustrations that this job brings on her.

It's the menial and meaningless parts of this job that make me realise that I do want to 'teach'. I like the children. I feel for them and I want them to do well. I like to be in a classroom. Despite doing all the crap, I still want to think of better ways to reach out to them where contents are concerned. I still want to dress up the classroom with their works. I still want to make them feel proud of themselves, even their birthdays.

A friend suggests that I look around after my bond is up. All I want is to teach, yet 'teaching' as defined by the ministry is so different from what most teachers desire.