Baby's not talking

It had been a crazy 3 weeks of school.

I worked from 7am to 6pm just about every day in school alone. It's amazing how the management is able to think up of something to make you commit longer hours just in the premise. I'm pissed becos that leaves me, or any other teachers for that matter, with no energy or time to mark or do anything at all when we reach home.

It's ridiculous.

Today, I took child's MC to take Baby for her 15th month vaccination.

And I'm glad I did.

The doc commented a few times that Baby was quiet. When asked what the reason could be, he commented that it could be becos the caregiver doesn't speak to her much. I insisted that my mother does talk to her frequently.

However, a quick check with my mother reveals that she indeed doesn't talk much to Baby. I was with my mother and Baby at my 5th sister's place. Throughout the time there, my mother was mostly busy with the chores, preparing the feeds for the different kiddos and fetching my nephews from school. When I asked her if she speaks to Baby, she said she leaves the interacting part to my youngest nephew!

When I reflect on why I always get the impression that my mother is chatty with Baby, I realise she always speaks to her when I come by, asking her to call me 'mummy', telling her that her mummy is here.

I'm quite sure it's bcos my mother feels insecure that William is always threatening to let Baby be under the care of someone else ie. maid (who he is too poor to hire), childcare centre, or a baby-sitter near my place (who he is too poor to hire as well), so she tries to portray the image that she talks to Baby frequently to show us that she's close and affectionate towards Baby.

I feel so guilty towards Baby.

Usually I don't talk to Baby much as well. After a day of work, I'd be so tired I tell myself my mother would have talked to her and most of the time, I'd need to coach Coco in her work, or do work at home myself, so the instances of me talking to Baby is even more remote.

When I was pregnant, unlike when I was expecting Coco, I didn't speak to Baby much becos William was constantly threatening to divorce me and I often wept at work, or wailed when I was at home. It was difficult to tell Baby anything becos anything that came out of my mouth would be something bad about her father, naturally. The first four months when I was on maternity leave, I didn't talk to her much either bcos I didn't want to be too attached to her when William and I divorce. So the not-talking-much evolves into sort of a habit.

Someone says that the greatest gift a man can give to his children is to love their mother. That's so true, isn't it? A mother literally affects every aspect of a child's life. But William will never know this, bcos he's too self-centred to.