Storm in a Teacup to Others. Big Deal to Us

My younger brother is contemplating applying for Singapore citizenship.

It causes a big stir in our family.

We object to him doing it.

We could see why he wants to although he does not wish to admit it outrightly: his beautician girlfriend is from Malaysia and she has been turned down a few times when she applied for Singapore permanent residentship.

I thought about how I could word it before or without bringing his girlfriend into the picture as I knew he would get defensive if I did it. As it is, they are lovey-dovey now, even in our presence. So I was sure he wouldn't listen to my advice if I attacked the ground using his girlfriend.

I began with a recall:
They say you want to apply for Singapore citizenship. I remember you rejecting the citizenship when you were offered during your National Service (NS) days.

For the unaware, Permanent Residents (PR) must carry out NS. While serving NS, they would be offered citizenship without having to apply for it.

He countered it saying that he rejected it because my father did not want him to take it up, and that there was no obvious benefits then. Now, if he were to get married, he can get a flat directly from the government and enjoy the subsidised rate. On top of that, he could get a $3k top up in CPF (Central Provident Fund) next year if he converts by then. It was 'a lot of money' to him.

I felt that what my elder sister surmised was right. He wants to be a Singapore citizen to apply for PRship for his girlfriend. The first-hand flat was more of a bonus.

I countered his reasons one by one:
1) $3k top-up in CPF in exchange for his Malaysia citizenship is too cheap.
He would be stupid to sell off his citizenship for a $3k offer that he cannot even touch!

2) He should ask his girlfriend to apply for PRship herself.
If he converts to apply PRship for his girlfriend, I would feel that their relationship is built on convenience - for the girlfriend.

If the girlfriend gets her PRship, they can buy a resale flat like the locals do, for location.

3) My elder sister had to convert her citizenship about 10 years ago because our block of flat was due for upgrading and the majority of the residents voted for the addition of a utility room which cost $60k in cash for permanent residents, and most people do not have $60k cold hard cash sitting in their bank account for a small utility room.

By converting, my sister could get the room at a subsidised rate, payable through CPF.

She was forced to convert, but he wants to give up his citizenship over someone else's PRship.

4) If he really wanted the $3k, he should go earn it himself.
I gave him examples of how I earned what I wanted:
With a gross pay of just $1.9k, I gave tuition, coupled with my hard-saving-and-scrimping to save up $20k within two years so that I could go study for a degree.

5) My father has a oil palm plantation that he wants to transfer to him. Being a traditional Chinese, my father does want to pass his legacy down to his only son. If he converts, he won't be able to inherit it.
You wouldn't believe what he said. He said that what my father does to the plantation is no problem of his. He probably thinks that the plantation is worth less than S$3k.

I don't want to judge the girlfriend. I am a woman myself and understands her needs and wants very well.

My brother wants to get the citizenship by next year so that he could apply for a flat soon. I can understand how she feels about getting a flat before getting married:

1) No woman wants to be an old bride.
2) It's just about every woman's wish to have her own place right after marriage.

I have no issue with all these and I think it's only right that she gets all these.

But I am so fiercely protective of my permanent residentship that I won't give it up unless a lot is at stake. And I don't want my brother to be a sacrificial lamb for her permanent residentship. I feel that it's unfair to make my brother convert his PRship to Singapore citizenship just so that she can be a PR.

My father applied PRships for our whole family after he became one.

My uncle did the same for his family.

So PRs are able to apply for PRship for their family.

The only thing that we can't do is to get a new flat from the government, which means a lot of money.

I really don't have issues with the fact that the girl is a low-income earner - which explains why she cannot get her PRship despite the previous attempts to apply for one. I am just unhappy that my brother has to sacrifice his PRship to get one for her. I see it as the girl gaining an edge at my brother's expense.

I have nothing against Singapore citizenship. If I had been born a Singaporean, I would have been glad and proud of being one.

The fact is: I am born a Malaysian, so I want to keep my citizenship.

I have never exercised or utilised my rights or benefits as a Malaysian. I live in Singapore all my life. Never voted in my own country. But, like what I told my brother, as long as I keep my citizenship, I have the option of returning to Malaysia one day - to retire or buy a house there. If I give it up, I burn my bridges.

To be honest, it scares me when I read articles of lonely old people living in one-room flats.

I don't ever want to be like that, but with the high cost of living in Singapore and my supposed-to-be-high-but-actually-not-high salary, I don't think I am able to retire comfortably in Singapore. I may well end up like those old folks, waiting for young secondary school students involved in community work to give me rice or canned food. It scares me. It really does. If I become a Singapore citizen, I will be 'trapped' here forever, with no option of retreating to a country with a lower cost of living.

I love Singapore no doubt, but I don't want to lose what I am born with. If anyone feels that I am an ingrate to the land that nourishes and feeds me, do put yourself in my shoe: would you want to give up your Singapore citizenship for another country's?

I probably have said it before, but I wish to say it again: Malaysia is akin to my natural parents, and Singapore my foster. There is no way you can negate either tie with me. Both have their benefits, just that I am not keen to find out more about them for the moment.

After all that is being brought on his platter, and if he still insists on changing his citizenship for the girl's sake, I will let him. After all, he is not my little brother anymore. This is his life, ultimately. I am not living it for him. I cannot make the decision for him. Whatever consequences that come with the decision, he will live with them himself.