A Working Mother's Worries

I am woken up by a troubled mind.

PSLE result was released yesterday. It disturbed me considerably when I read off my school students' scores on my 'work' facebook.

Those who unabashedly posted their aggregate score managed 139 to 194, with quite a number in the range of 170s. Such scores earn you Normal (Tech) or Normal (Acad) streams at secondary level.

Many rejoiced at merely passing PSLE, and not having to repeat their Primary Six year.

A heavy sense of worry came over me, and it troubles me over and over again.

Firstly, their attitude of 'just pass can already' was already salient even when I was teaching them at Primary Five. Many of them did not want to do their homework, and most of them were just waiting for you to give them answers. No matter how you pep-talked them, warned them, scolded them, they just wanted to get the work bit over and done with, so that they could play. When homework was given, half the class did not hand in.

They did not see reading as enjoyable. In fact, they hated reading. It was and continues to be worrying because the lack of love for reading would hamper them from progressing for as long as they are alive.

The new boss is doing away with an old system of putting all the sports-inclined children in one class as she feels that ultimately, the lessons are still academic in nature at the end of the day. And what she does is sound. Very sound in fact. I was surprised to even hear of such a system when I was first posted to the school. What is the point of being excellent in sports when you struggle to pass PSLE? A fine example was a boy who topped the cohort and the cluster (or was it nation?) in a sport but yet failed his PSLE twice. All doors were closed on him.

As stick-in-the-mud as it sounds, I still feel that academics are the most important foundation for a primary school student - because that is how the system works. And perhaps that is how it should be. Do we really want sports-excellent adults who cannot read or write in proper English, eventually?

Secondly, some students have posted malicious and vicious comments on their facebooks about the new boss, saying that she is 'ugly', 'stupid', 'nobody likes her' etc.

It tells me that such children generally do not know what is good for them. For all the good works that the new boss has done, they diss her for all her effort.

After sighing continuously over my school students, the reality dawned on me, that if these children's results are anything to go by, Coco would just be about 50 points better than their scores ie. 210 to 220 in one year's time if she continues to be so laxed.

It sends shudders down my spine.

Suddenly, I find myself thinking about if I really should stop work for 9 months and focus on preparing Coco for her ultimate examination.

Coco only has English enrichment to date because her marks for English are in the 80s range, and she loves to read. It is quite a lot of money to me but I feel that that is the only subject I can let go and not be so stressed over.

William claims to want to teach her Maths and Science, and I try to coach her in Chinese whenever I have the time.

But I feel that the pace needs to be set. I don't know how much good it can do her if I only take a break in Term 3 ie. June onward, and start gearing her up then. Would it have been too late? I am not talking about the academic preparation for PSLE, but the attitude towards PSLE. By then, would she have adopted a laid-back attitude, and if she had, then no matter how much I do for her, nothing would go into her skull. That is my greatest fear.

I need to make up my mind soon because I would need to inform my bosses about my decision, if there is any at all. On the other hand, I wish I don't have to stop working so that I don't experience any monetary loss. I know all the talk about 'all the money you earn can't make the time go back or make up for what your child has lost'. It's such a difficult decision for me I wish I have someone to discuss with. My family members would, for sure, ask me not to stop working. But they do not understand the gravity of the issue since they do not have children facing the PSLE monster. My friends would ask me to stop working and concentrate on my child's studies because they have husbands to support them and have no worries about their livelihood. I am so torn I wish there is an answer, soon.