Stressed Out and Lashing Out at Alumni

I was on one of my Facebook accounts when I read one of the mothers' frustration.

She was 'amazed and disgusted' that those who do nothing (the alumni) criticise those who went an extra mile for their children (parent-volunteers).

I surmised that she had been reading the thread in kiasuparents forum on the opinion of the P1 registration system.

She knows I am one of the active posters who defend the alumni priority.

She was probably stressed out by P1 registration and wanted to vent her frustration on Facebook, and wittingly or unwittingly on me.

I was tempted to rebut her:

"I hope you have read the whole thread, and even if you haven't, you should go to the first page and see who started the flaming war."

Or

"Exactly! What gives those who go an extra mile for their children the right to criticise those who don't?"

But I held back.

That particular Facebook account was created to link up with mummies who had given birth in the same year as I did for Baby.

I was quite depressed for the first few years and was not involved in the activities they held for the babies and get-together.

As a result, I am not close to them compared to the mummy who lashed out at the alumni.

If I were to rebut, I can imagine the amount of backlash I would get.

If I post my rebuttal on the thread, I might also be attacked again on Facebook.

I am happy that I have an additional outlet.

For years, the alumni had been putting up with the attacks and insults hurled by the parent-volunteers and supporters of distance-priority.

The schools were the product of what the alumni had made them out to be. Now that the schools are deemed good in the eyes of the public, alumni of unpopular schools want their children to enter them.

Some resent the presence of the alumni.

They feel that if not for the alumni, they do not even have to commit their time or resources to help the school out.

They resent the fact that the alumni enjoy a higher priority in the eyes of the schools.

They are jealous that the alumni do not have to 'go an extra mile for their children'.

It is a fact that some parent-volunteers and distance-priority supporters are jealous. Jealousy reeks through their posts. Yet they blatantly deny it.

I do respect parents for doing what they can to enter their children into schools of their choice, whether by being parent-volunteers or moving near to the schools.

However, I do not condone their attack on the alumni, just so they can get rid of the alumni to get what they want.

It is a fact that the schools belong to the alumni. A sense of belonging is not the same as the 'entitlement mentality'. I have a sense of belonging to my family, does it entitle me to have everything I want?

An alumni attended his school for 6 years. Technically and logically speaking, to justify an equal amount of contribution, parent-volunteers ought to contribute for 6 years too before they are 'entitled' to a place in the school.

I think that the alumni priority is the least that a school can give to her alumni.

The alumni build up the school's culture, name, reputation and spirit. In fact, they do it so well that alumni of other schools also want them. The success belongs to the alumni. The school is just a building.

A colleague was sharing with me that in her husband's school, a 'good' school, most of the teachers who transfer in are young teachers, and you can be sure that these teachers have at least a young kid waiting to be enrolled into Primary One.

And she and her husband would see themselves and more than 20 colleagues, among the colleagues her husband is in knowledge of, fighting for Primary One vacancies at Phase 2A2 a few years later.

So, is it the teachers who make the schools good?

Surely that's doubtful.

But one thing is certain: the students have done well.

And the law of attraction follows.

For those who find themselves so stressed out over P1 registration that they need to vent their frustration and jealousy on others, like the mother on my Facebook account, I just have this to say:

If you cannot handle the stress of P1 registration, you will find yourself in greater s*** at PSLE.