My Boudoir

As mentioned in my previous entry, I did a Boudoir ('boo-duah'), basically a lingerie or intimate shoot.

Boudoir is not a new concept, even in Singapore. For some reason, I never had the desire to have myself shot in lingerie or naked when young. I came across some photographers' portfolio and did not think that such pictures were tasteful. In fact, many were vulgar and too brass for my liking.

That was until I chanced upon Kelvin's website on Facebook. 

Kelvin was my pre-wedding photographer more than a decade ago. He was with Chris Ling, a highly popular wedding photography studio when I was getting married, and his photography style was something to my liking. He was humorous, yet phlegmatic and humble, always with a smile. He would also go the extra mile for his customers.

I knew that he had become a Boudoir photographer about 5 or 6 years ago. I remember telling William that he was doing it alone and William was 'envious' of him, being able to look at naked bodies and being paid for it.

But I did not have the desire to do it. I never imagined myself doing such a photoshoot as I was always under the impression that only well-endowed models and actresses would do it. Moreover, I was not very impressed with the pictures, then.                               

Some time early this year, I came across Kelvin's Facebook advertisement. I was captivated by the new soft, implied-nude images. Yes, just 'implied', not 'full' nude. 

He uses soft fabrics like tulle and silk to complement women's bodies. Very different from the boudoir pictures I have seen elsewhere.

By then, I was way over my prime. My not-so-big busts had further shrunken. My face was saggy. In fact, everywhere was saggy, even my calves.

So I laid off the idea. Forget it lah. Do what do? So old already still want to take that kinda pictures? Laugh die people.

But the beautiful images kept haunting me.

Then, I had a rude awakening: my eye bags.

If I don't do it now, then when? I will never be younger than NOW. Either I do it now or never.

So I signed up a $750 package which promised 5 hard and soft copies of the shoot.

Even then, I procrastinated on taking the pictures. 

I booked the session in early May, I procrastinated till I could not do so anymore - I did it on 30th June, the last day my promotional package would expire.

I confirmed the date just a week before. And I started my so-called 'quick slimming programme'. I did sit-ups every night. From just being able to do 10 sit-ups the first night, I improved to 25, the night before the shoot.

I ate little for dinner in the 3 days leading up to the shoot.

On the day of the shoot, I arrived one hour early thinking that it started at 10am. 

Kelvin met me at the door. I told him he was my pre-wedding photographer and we chatted till the make-up artiste arrived. 

We talked about our changes in jobs, how he evolved to become a boudoir photographer, and the lingerie I purchased for the shoot. 

At 11am, the make-up artiste introduced herself as Bobbi from The Makeup Room and proceeded to do the make-up for me.

I informed her that I had fillers done so she was gentle with my cheeks. She was quite unlike most make-up artistes I have been through, not that I have had many experiences with make-up artistes. She asked what my preference for my make-up was and when I sought her opinion, she suggested 'natural'.

When she realised I was not very comfortable with my hair being swept to a particular side, she immediately swept it back instead of insisting on her proposition when she was the professional.

We chatted a little about fillers and she agreed with me that eye creams don't work for eye bags. We went on to chat about my filler experience since she did not seem to have the intention to have any but did not mind listening to enrich her filler knowledge.

The make-up was finished at about 12pm, and the shoot began.

We started with a short dress I had brought. Eventually, we didn't pick any images from the short dress series, but it proved to be a nice warm-up into the shoot.

William came to watch the shoot as he was worried on many counts: 

- he did not want me to be touched by the photographer

- he wanted to ensure that I did not show too much skin

- he was worried that I would show my vital parts unwittingly

Quite silly, right? What do you expect when you are doing a shoot like this? After a few hours, William had to leave to pick Baby up.

By 4pm, we did the lingerie shoot. Kelvin said,"It's the last series."

I got a shock. I said,"Huh? But I also want to shoot with those (pointing to the fabrics)."

Kelvin probably thought I only wanted to do a lingerie shoot because I mentioned to him that William was not comfortable with me doing a boudoir and had followed to watch.

But like I said, Kelvin would go the extra mile for his clients. 

Subsequently, we did implied-nudes, using different fabrics to shield or cover the vital parts of the body.

I was given a bathrobe to wear each time I was to move to a different backdrop so that I didn't have to walk all over the studio half-naked or naked.

I was surprised Kelvin never did ask me to smile, square my shoulder, suck in my tummy. When I asked, he replied that he was not taking passport photos! We laughed.

Throughout the session, we laughed a lot, talked a lot, like friends.

The shoot seemed to be done fairly quickly, but by the time I checked the time, it was 7pm! How time flies when you are enjoying yourself!

The shoot was actually accompanied with a female assistant who was Kelvin's wife, Elaine. She was the more talkative and sanguine personality compared to Kelvin and she was very adept at making people very comfortable quickly. When any adjustments needed to be made to the props which were in close proximity to my body, she would be the one to do it. The closest Kelvin had ever come to touching me was to position a finger or two and he would ask for my permission to do so. Never presumptuous that the client or friend has become too comfortable with him, like stupid ol' me often do.

I have shown my female friends and cousins my unedited images and they were surprised at my 'courage'.

They asked how I had felt in front of the photographer and my reply was the same,"He was very humble and nice, and made me very comfortable. I did not feel awkward in front of him."

About a week passed before I was informed to shortlist the images.

All the time, I didn't know what I should hope for. Should I hope for many great images? Then I might end up buying many and burning a hole in my pocket. Should I hope for lousy images? Then I would be very disappointed that the shoot didn't work out. In the end, I decided that I should hope for exactly 5 fantastic images because that was how many images my package had included.

When I started viewing the pictures, my breath was taken away. There were so many sides of myself I never saw or knew. It was like how Hermione felt when she saw her own backview in one of the earlier Harry Potter movies,"Does my back look like that?"

Suddenly, I felt empowered. It was a curious feeling. The images were an embodiment of strength in femininity. It sounds silly but it felt like women were created to be women indeed. I find myself trying to be a man in many ways, especially after marriage, ironically, but the images were a strong reminder that I am a woman. And I don't have to prove that I am stronger or better than men, because we are differently created for different purposes.

Because there were too many images I liked, I topped up for a $3200 package that would allow me to possess all images and create an album of 35 pages, including the 5 images I had already paid for.

I know the price tag sounds crazy but I don't think I would do a Boudoir again. Like what someone said,"It would be a documentation of how your body sags if you do it yearly!"

I am a happy customer of Kelvin, so do check out his website if you are interested: https://kelvinlim.com.sg/

My Filler Job at Radium Medical Aesthetics

In my circle, nobody I know has gone for facial augmentations for aesthetic reasons. In fact, any form of adjustments to what Nature has given is considered a plastic surgery. It surprised the few I divulged about my trip to the aesthetic clinic, Radium Medical Aesthetics.

The first question they asked was,"What made you do it?"

I thought hard about it.

To be honest, I surprised even myself. It's not me to decide on something so major on the spot.

Perhaps my weeks of depression over my tear troughs and my then-upcoming Boudoir shoot were strong pushes for me to take the leap.

Dr Siew Tuck Wah was the third doctor I visited.

I felt at ease with him. For a high-anxiety person, chemistry with people, especially a doctor performing treatments on me, is very important.

"Chemistry" here would probably translate to how I feel the doctor views me, and how confident he is of solving my problems for me.

The Consultation

I was first attended to by Seow Wei at the reception counter when I stepped into the clinic. She entered the consultation room with me and stood by the side while the doctor examined and advised me on my best options.

Like the other two doctors, Dr Siew suggested fillers for my hollow undereyes and cheeks. He didn't have Sygmalift at his clinic although he had the older alternatives ie. HIFU and Ulthera. However, like Dr Wong at Kowayo Clinic, he said that machine-lifting is not as effective as injections.

While injecting filler was a brand new idea to me at Kowayo Clinic, I had got used to the idea by the time I reached Radium Medical. 

I asked about his threadlift method that I had read about on one of the blogs and he candidly stated that I would not be happy with the results of threadlift or HIFU/Ultera if I had done them without fillers.

He also confidently said that he was the only doctor in Singapore who had every single brand of fillers and assured me that they managed pain very well.

After going through the risks of filler-injections, Dr Siew left me to consult on the charges with Seow Wei and gave me time and space to consider if I wanted the treatment.

It was about 1.30pm. Seow Wei showed me the types of fillers available and gave me a quick education on them. Dissolvable ones such as Restylane and Belotero are good for 1 to 1.5 years while undissolvable Ellanse will last for 2 to 4 years. Dr Siew recommended dissolvable fillers for first-timers like me as I would not have room for regrets if I had opted for Ellanse. Whether I liked it or not, I would have to stick with the look for at least 2 years.

Seow Wei told me that she had a fresh filler, Radiesse, done and asked if I wanted to touch her one-week-old cheek filler to have a feel at how fillers was like. I was a little taken aback and declined the offer.

As I was asking Seow Wei about the differences in prices and lasting powers of Ellanse and other fillers, one of the reception ladies walked over and said, coolly,"Doctor is going for lunch now. He said can numb her face now if she wants to do, and he will do filler for her when he comes back half an hour later."

It took me a few seconds before I realised the 'her' and 'she' in her speech referred to me!

I panicked a little inside. What? They are talking about plastic surgeries as if they are as normal and common as having lunch!

I said I had an appointment right after that and had to leave soon. Seow Wei fixed my filler appointment at 4.30pm so that I could have the treatment on the same day.

The Procedure

When I returned at 4.30pm, I was given some biscuits and Milo to take together with some pills that would help with the bruising and swelling after the procedure.

I was led to a room where my face was cleansed and applied with numbing cream.

My sensitive face became very red. The lady immediately used an ice-roller to roll over my face repeatedly to calm it. 

After that, I waited for another ten minutes before she returned and took my 'Before' pictures.

I was then led to another room where the doctor began the procedure. Seow Wei gave me two stress balls so that I could squeeze them when I was nervous. The numbing lady assisted the doctor by applying pressure on the injected spots to stop the bleeding. She also used a small black device to press against my face so that it vibrated to distract me whenever the doctor injected on my cheeks.

Before the procedure started, Dr Siew showed me a small bowl of 5 syringes and told me that he would be using different types of Restylane fillers for different parts of the face.

They had mentioned that it would be a 20-minute procedure but I was sure it took at least 40 minutes. Dr Siew took his time to examine the spots that needed to be filled. He also noticed that I bled more than most people each time he injected into me so he wanted to take it slowly.

He saw that my left cheek was more sunken than the right, so he injected more filler there. However, he was puzzled that it still looked more sunken even after the extra jab. He seemed to deliberate over it for a while before he said it decidedly,"I'll put in more on the left side."

He ended up giving me 3.5 units of Restylane instead of the original 3 units he had intended, and charged me as 3 units as agreed on earlier.

The injections were not as traumatic as I had imagined them to be. For someone with a low threshold for pain, while most of the injections were not the most comfortable things to go through in the whole world, I would not call them 'painful'. There were one or two jabs that were like an ant's bite but they were manageable. 

Upon closer examination after the procedure, there were about 6 tiny jab-holes on my face, 3 on each side: 2 were under each of my eyes to fill up the hollowness under the tear troughs and one nearer to the laughline to plump or fill the line up.

I was given some pills to take for the next few days to help with the swelling.

The cheeks felt hard - not rock-hard, but still 'hard', and numbed. Dr Siew mentioned that my cheeks were about '10% swollen' and the swelling would subside after 3 or 4 days.

However, nobody asked me a thing when I went to my parents' place after the procedure.

A day before the filler job

Under the lighting, my eyebags are not obvious here but they do exist

The night after my filler job

Smiling was not natural. Face felt stiff.

2 days after the filler

On the 9th day, I returned to the doctor's for a review, at which he pressed and 'molded' my face so that the fillers moved to the areas he still deemed sunken.

On the 10th day, my left cheek was still a little swollen but it was not obvious.

I must say I am quite happy with the results. It doesn't turn me into a 25-year-old or even 30-year-old but I am just glad I don't have to be depressed over my eyebags for the next one year or so.

People have told me that once you start on this pursuit-of-beauty journey, there is no turning back. I do think that perhaps I might go for Ellanse injection when my filler wears off. I just might.  

Resolved.

My last post was penned purely out of anger.

Basically, what happened was that last August, I signed Coco up for a tuition class which I paid $8450 via bank transfer as the term fees.

However, almost as usual, Coco decided to stop going for the tuition after a few sessions as she felt that it was ineffective.

The trial lesson had the tutor himself teaching her, one-on-one, and showing her 'short-cuts' and 'his own methods'. However, Coco said that she was left to her own devices during the actual lesson. She was given a set of worksheets to do on her own, raising her hand to ask a roaming tutor if she had any questions. After a few similar sessions, she felt that it was no different from her studying on her own.

At my end, I felt that Coco chose to skip the lessons herself, so it was not entirely the tutor's fault. However, I did feel the pinch that I paid so much for her to attend just under 4 or 5 lessons. I was hoping that the tutor would be kind enough to offer to refund me the amount Coco did not attend lessons for, but of course, based on what Coco told me about what the tutor vengefully said about a disgruntled parent at his centre, I knew he would not.

It weighed heavily on my heart all this time.

I decided to seek help from CASE after a few months.  To my dismay, CASE rejected my case at first as I was not able to produce any receipt.

Last month, I asked William to help me with this problem.

He stupidly trusted the 'friend' whom I had more appropriately called a 'bitch' in my previous post and told her what happened.

She immediately dismissed what he said in totality and accused me of lying, questioning why I would only ask for a refund after so long, and rubbished my claim of $8450 as the fees. She said it was not so expensive! 

Well, as a 'friend', William asked her,"Then how much is it?" Guess what, the bitch refused to tell him the amount she paid! You know how it was like when your low-eq classmate asked you how many marks you got for your test and refused to tell you after you had told him? And I thought we were all consumers. Since you accused me of lying, then why couldn't you share what your fees were? It baffles me what kind of person she is.

And that's not all.

She immediately went to tell the tutor all that William told her, putting him on high alert.

He even asked her to pass the message that he would be happy that we lodged a police report against him since the police would use the lie detector on me!

I was shocked. When did we say we would report the case to the police?

And to think the bitch accused me of lying.

Anyone who reads my blog and has any bit of perceptiveness would probably be able to tell that I am clumsy at lying. To think she claimed she read ALL of my blog and knows nothing about me. So the purpose of reading my blog was to find ammunition against me? That's totally uncalled for. Plain stupidity. I am not worth your time and effort, bitch!

Anyway, William got me to get my bank transaction for last August out from the bank and we used that as proof of receipt at CASE. This time, CASE accepted my complaint. 

The case was resolved a few days after. I was not expecting the tutor to refund me the whole amount given my understanding, however superficial, of him. But I was just glad that the pinch that had been weighing on my heart for almost a year was gone. 

I was sharing with a close friend about what the bitch did to me. She was equally puzzled. Women our age should be very comfortable in our own skin and who we are. Why would any woman in her forties be talking about whether she or anyone that age is attractive? What is attractive about a woman in her forties ought to be her grace and her wisdom, not outer appearance anymore. What outer appearance can a creature with sagging skin, fine lines and eyebags have?

I am not filthy rich like her. In fact, I am of quite a low SES compared to many my age. I don't have a lot of things my peers have. I worry about my retirement and a lot of other things related to finances. But I have no complaints. This is my life. I am assured about myself. Oh, why then would I go for fillers, right? It's for myself. While I still can, I hope to grab that last bit of youth before it fades off. I will have many remaining years to stare at sagged skin, eyebags and all.

I will continue to blog. And as far as I can, I will keep my blog public. Haters will always be haters. Hate what? I really have no idea. Enlighten me if anyone has any idea.

F You, Bitch!

Have you ever met someone like that?  

You have a problem. She got some of the details. Then for her own interest, she went to mess it up for you. Then when you checked with her exactly what she did, she said she could not tell you. 

I just met a bitch like that today.

Yes, you read that right. A F-ing BITCH.

And that bitch reads my blog, ready to pounce on me anytime. She gets a kick out of using what I post on my blog to hit me below my belt.

She criticised that I spent too much on afternoon teas.

She criticised that I am a lousy mother.

She judged that I am not pretty.

All these - I don't give two hoots, because she is nobody to me.

"Insecure woman," I thought.

She snoops around to fish more information out from my stupid husband, who imagines that she has a crush on him, while she thought she was attractive to him.

Then she uses what she knows about me against me. For what, I don't know. 

Of course I am more attractive, Bitch! What's there to compare? When he comes home to tell me that you told him that men stalk you, I tell him for sure they are some bald-headed, ugly men. 

Did he tell you that?

I have always just dismissed you as a terribly insecure and jealous woman, but today, I see you for who you are: a thorough BITCH.

A bitch who has problems shutting that huge gap in her face.

Thinks lowly of people who blog, yet snoops around on others' blogs to read them.

Pathetic bitch.

Yes. When you are reading this - fuck you, bitch!

A Tale of Three Aesthetic Clinics

When I was away from the blogging world, I escaped into another virtual world: Pokemon Go.

I was so avid that it occupied most of my waking time whenever I was not working. The game was absorbing, and one often has to commit a lot of time to 'play it well', so to speak.

What made me wake up was the passing of time. One morning in June, I looked into the mirror as usual, and I saw *gasp* two eye bags, which I realised later were 'tear troughs', hanging on my face!

I always swore that I would not spend my old age playing PoGo like those silly lao uncles in my estate. But it has come to pass! I am a lao aunty now!

I went on a desperate search for the best eye cream. 'Best eye cream 2018', 'Best eye cream 2017', 'Best eye cream for eye bags' ... Alas, for every 'best eye cream' a woman swore by, there would be 3 to 10 women who claimed it 'did not work'!

I have had eye cream from History of Whoo and it didn't eliminate my eye bags. I have tried Lancome's Advanced Night Repair when I was younger and didn't see dramatic results. So I went in search of the quest for better eye cream. I used the samples from Sulwahsoo and Clarins but they didn't work, as usual. Perhaps the amount of cream in the sachets was too little for me to see substantial results but by then, I was losing faith in eye creams. I also chanced upon Remescar that promises to magically remove eye bags when applied, which unfortunately didn't satisfy me.

I was looking into the mirror more fervently than ever, to see if my tear troughs had reduced by any margin, or even diminished. Of course, to my dismay, on a few occasions, they might, or could, have seemed somewhat reduced, but they were undeniably there. On. My. Face.

I also noticed that my skin was sagging.

Despaired, I typed 'face lift' in Google. I found that there were 'non-invasive' and 'non-surgical' methods to lift our skin. For someone who is averse to any form of plastic surgery and injections, I was particularly interested in Sygmalift, a painless way to lift our skin using a machine. After reading many reviews, I shortlisted a few aesthetic clinics to visit and decided to ask questions about the few 'non-surgical' options:

1) Sygmalift

2) Threadlift

1. Kowayo Clinic

Dr Wong is the doctor who hems the clinic. After a short wait, I was led to a consultation room in which he suggested the best solution for me: fillers, something that I did not consider.

I asked about Sygmalift and he said that the effect would not be obvious, and I was not a suitable candidate for Threadlift as my face did not have enough volume. I would look more haggard when the skin is pulled.

He showed me samples of people who had fillers done. It was a culture shock to me. I was under the impression that only young and/or attractive people such as beauty bloggers and models would do it, but the pictures he showed me belonged to the commoners we see on the street, or at worst, aunties we see at wet markets.

It thrust me into a whole new world of aesthetics!

Dr Wong concluded that my best option was fillers and he asked me to think over it.

At the reception counter, the 27-year-old lady gave me a few filler pamphlets and assured me that it's a very common procedure. She said she has had '2 fillers and 1 Ellanse (a brand of filler) done" on her face to fill the hollowness on her cheeks.

A pity I did not jot down the prices Dr Wong charged. As best as I can remember, he charges $1500 (w/o GST) for the first millilitre of Ellanse and $900 for the subsequent millilitre. He told me he would inject 2 ml of Ellanse on my cheeks to lift my skin and eliminate the tear troughs.

A friendly and nice doctor, but for some reason, I felt that the whole consultation felt clinically professional.

I decided to check two other clinics out before I made any decision. So I paid the consultation charges of $64 and left the clinic at The Link Mall.

Address:
1 Raffles Link #01-03B
Singapore 039393
Tel: 68844280

2. The Knightsbridge Clinic

My appointment was at 11am. Dr Israr Wong did not turn up until 12pm. Before he appeared, the nice nurse was stalling time for him by asking me questions and explaining superficially the treatments the clinic offered. He asked his nurse to whatsapp him my picture for his diagnosis. After that, the nurse told me that the doctor recommended fillers for my sunken cheeks and asked me to have my face numbed.

I was taken aback. "Huh? I haven't even seen the doctor. I need to talk to him first."

She replied that many of their patients also have their faces numbed whether they get their treatment on the very day. Numbing of face would not be chargeable if I decided not to undergo any treatment after that. I was uncomfortable with such an idea: wouldn't I leave the clinic with a numbed face later, since I was not ready to have any form of treatment done that day?

When Dr Israr Wong finally arrived, he did not think that an apology for the one-hour wait was due.

He stood a distance from me while I sat on the treatment chair, studying my face. I asked him what he would recommend. He suggested fillers and threadlift for my left cheek since it was more sunken and caused my face to be 'unbalanced'. In fact, he said it curtly,"Your face is unbalanced." I was quite shocked that a doctor could be so insensitive. Isn't there a better way to phrase it?

Then I enquired about the charges. He listed two types of fillers available at his clinic:

$950 x 3 (syringes) = $2850 for fillers that last up to 1 year

$1800 x 3 (syringes) = $5400 for Ellanse that lasts up to 2 years

As usual, I said I would consider.

And he said the damning sentence which tells me he is not the doctor for me,"Why? Price too expensive is it?"

True. Your charges are high. But for someone who equates quality with prices, I rarely forfeit an expensive item or service based on its price tag. In fact, most of the time, I pay premium for the best. My siblings always say I always choose the most expensive to buy because I believe 'the more expensive, the better." and William says I always 'overkill' when I buy something, which is true.

To set the record straight, I am not ruling your treatment out based on prices. In fact, I paid more for a similar procedure at another doctor's. If a doctor can be so arrogant and insensitive, I don't think he is the right doctor to undergo any procedure with.

And because he was an hour late for our appointment, I almost skipped the appointment at the third clinic.

I understand that he appears to be very popular on the internet. When I googled for face-lift, his pages would be at the top the search. He is also very active in providing general online consultations for beauty-related or minimally-invasive face-lift procedures. He sounded like a personable and approachable doctor from what I read but the meeting sure was a huge let-down. 

I paid my $60's worth of treatment of arrogance and left.

Address:

Not worth my trouble to Google

3. Radium Medical Aesthetic

My appointment was at 12.30pm, right after Knightsbridge, thinking that I would have an hour to travel at my leisure to get there. I actually sent a Facebook message to the clinic saying I had to cancel the appointment since Dr Israr Wong did not turn up until 12.10pm.

Fortunately, there was no reply from the clinic. I also realised that the clinic was only four MRT stops away from Chinatown so I decided to go to the clinic even though I would be late.

I turned up at 12.50pm and after waiting for a short while, I was led to a small consultation room with Dr Siew Tuck Wah.

I told him my concerns: tear troughs and saggy face.

Like the other two doctors, he recommended fillers, but addressed my interest in the other two procedures. 

He said that Sygmalift would see very little results and I would not be happy with threadlift either. He felt that fillers would give me the best results for my case.

By then, I was convinced that filler is my best bet. Three doctors can't be wrong.

Dr studied my face and asked if I had the upper lines on my cheeks (which I just learnt is called 'arcus deformity) since young, as my facial anatomy is constructed as such and my ligaments are pulling at those lines. I was surprised he mentioned this since no other doctor seemed to notice it.

Then he got up from his seat and walked up to me, and used a finger to prop up a little of my left cheek, and said,"You would look like that with fillers."

I liked what I saw in the mirror. I looked younger and my arcus deformity, nasolabial line and tear trough were gone. I think this gesture sealed the deal.

Dr Siew made it mandatory to list all the possible risks with fillers to his prospective patients, which also impressed me. Other doctors had not mentioned them at all. And since other doctors did not mention them, I figured the possibility of the five risks happening was not high. I was more concerned about the pain level of the treatment and he was very confident about the way he manages pain. He said that pain was not a consideration since he would numb my face and give me nerve-block and that instead, I should be more concerned about the risks because they could happen.

He then left the discussion of charges to his nurse, Xiao Wei, and I was led out of the room.

Xiao Wei, like the nurses in the other two clinics, was patient and obliging. She told me that she had tried a few fillers on her cheeks. The last one she did was by the brand Radiesse and it was done a week ago when Dr Siew needed to show other doctors how fillers were done.

She said that she trusts Dr Siew and he would not do beyond what is necessary, which in this case is a good thing.

I usually would not make a hasty decision for big-ticket items, especially when it involves injecting foreign bodies into my body. But strangely, till date, I am not sure why, I made the decision of getting the filler works done on the spot, on that day! 

I guess the chemistry between the doctor and patient is very important. Dr Siew, while professional, also appeared to be more personal than the other two doctors. For a high-anxiety person, I felt very comfortable and at ease with him. 

I had another engagement after my consultation with Dr Siew, so I returned to the clinic at 4.30pm to have the fillers done.

I'll update my filler adventure on the next entry.

Address:

3 Temasek Boulevard #03-326

Suntec City Mall, Singapore 038983

Tel: 68370507

I am back

After a very, very long absence from the blogging world, I have decided to return to my little ol' attic.

I was away for a number of reasons. One of the more compelling ones being the fact that I was told my blog is not 'private' anymore.

I always knew my blog isn't private. I didn't set any pass code to restrict readership. I never thought there was a need to. I am a nobody. I am just an average human being trying to get by. I am full of flaws and shortcomings. I make more mistakes than the average person out there. This is just a virtual outlet for me to release my emotional outbursts and my thoughts. I don't have fantastic English, and I am not a linguistically expressive person, so I may not express myself as well as many other bloggers.

I am a private person.

I didn't think anyone would want to read what I write. For those few who did follow my blog, I really appreciate them bearing with my silliness and ignorance. For those who gave me affirmations, I have nothing but thankfulness and gratitude.

I was just shocked and puzzled why anyone would even bother about my mundane businesses, so much so that my life, my character, my marriage and even my kid ended up as topics over lunches or gossips. My friend would ask me not to post certain things on my blog 'because it's not private anymore'. Someone else would ask me 'to do something about my blog'.

The power of gossips.

Someone once said,"If you say something about a person to 7 people, that something you say would return to the person you have gossiped."

Well, I heard it from at least 3 people that people I never knew existed were talking about me! More than that, they judged me based on what they read. Granted, we are all judgmental in some ways. Some more so than others. But it still came as a shock when I knew I was judged based on one or two blogs. I am nobody, hello!

I could understand why people would know me when I am active in certain circles, but I don't even have fantastic readership on my blog, and I am that famous? 

That's hilarious.

Yeah, so it was an abrupt decision to stop blogging indefinitely. 

But much has happened during the hiatus.

I have resigned from my job since last October. The pay was nice for someone who never even imagined she would ever get a degree, but weariness finally caught up with me. I didn't want to fight or bow anymore. I have seen too many friends and colleagues leaving the job disheartened. I often wondered when it would be my turn. So when the music for the musical chair stopped, I saw that it was my turn to be 'out'. And I left.