The incident
Republic Polytechnic student Darren Ng Wei Jie, 19, who suffered multiple slash wounds and a stab wound to his abdomen before he died, was a victim of a 'staring incident'.
We are calling him a 'victim' because he was a casualty in the incident. The fact is, he could have been one of those arrested if he had made another boy a 'victim'.
He was just a teenage boy, just 19. An age where everything was about to blossom: his hard work in his studies, relationships at different levels, his values and beliefs in life, his aspiration, his ambition, his parents' hopes and dreams for him.
Everything will dissipate with his bloody and brutal departure.
The four murderers who were arrested were not much older. They were just in their early 20s. And they were called 'men' in the reports.
I cannot imagine the pain Darren's parents felt, and feel.
An auntie cleaner in a company I worked in once told me,"I would rather beat my own child to death than let him be beaten to death by others. Imagine how painful that is if your child is killed by someone else when you have painstakingly brought up a child."
Soon after the Downtown East incident, another slashing incident happened in Bukit Panjang. Then, a third one took place in Ang Mo Kio.
These youths think what? Slashing is fun is it? Or they want to ride on the 'fame' of the Downtown East incident?
It could be a job hazard, but I can't help but feel that it boils down to the lack of parental supervision and the powerlessness of our education system.
Our society has got to a point that only double income for a family can suffice. For most people, it is not a choice.
The background
MM Lee had encouraged women, especially degree-holders, to continue working after getting married and giving birth as he saw the value of the female workforce's contribution to the country's economy.
After all, his all-capable wife had done the same. She went to work as a lawyer, came home to have lunch with the children, and went back to work again. And she managed her roles as a working woman and a caring and disciplining mother very well.
He probably could not understand why the rest of the woman population are not as able. Either that or he could have attributed to our inaptness at juggling both roles to laziness or stupidity.
The fact is, most of us do not hold as highly-paid a job as either one of them. And most of our jobs are not as 'cushy' as theirs. I'll leave the reader to define 'cushy' by their own definition.
'Staring incident' is not new to my era. I remember reading about clashes over stupid youths staring at each other on papers when I was in primary school and secondary school, but fortunately the clashes seldom became fatal.
The stares could have been between two boys, or a girl who was taken being glanced at repeatedly by another boy. I thought it silly to fight over an incidental fall of an eye. And if it happens that your girl has been eyed, shouldn't you feel flattered that other boys find your girl attractive instead?
My take
Whenever I see youths killing each other, vandalising property, slashing out at their elders, be it teachers or parents - pardon me, but I can't help but sadistically gloat somewhat, not over the incidents, but over the reflection of the extent of damages that have been done to the education system. In my opinion, all these abnormal societal happenings are a result of the failure in home and school education.
Children are truly just clay. What you want them to be, you mould. They will manifest the process of moulding or what have been done to them in their childhood when they become youths and adults - that is the time when they are empowered, by the passing of time.
Today's society has done all it can to suppress or hit out at the education system in school. The same people who commit the atrocity to schools, and display scan respect for educators are probably the same parents who fail to teach their children well, be it the academic or character development.
Just like breastfeeding, the effects will not show up immediately. It takes time, and when they do, nothing will be able to stop them, until the yesterday's children are caught up by the law. By then, how much damages have been done to these young lives? And how much damages have these youths done to others' lives?
How long more must it take before people, especially parents, realise that children need discipline as much as they need love and protection?
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Monday, 15 November 2010
He quit
My father turned up at my doorstep last Wednesday to keep Coco company till I returned.
One thing though: Coco was not home.
She had my permission to go over to her friend's place to have a pre-birthday party.
What's a pre-birthday party, you ask.
It's a party to celebrate a birthday that's not here yet, but celebrated because the girls wanted an excuse of some sort to gather for fun!
When I asked my mother what had happened (since my father was supposed to be at work), she said that he had quit.
I inquired further from my father.
He said that he received his pay for the first fifteen days that he had worked, and to his horror, he only received just about half of what was agreed on with his employer.
It turned out that his employer had a co-boss who issued the pay check, and he decided that my father would get that little money for the over ten hours he clocked every day.
My father did his Maths and calculated that he was paid less than $4 per hour!
Indignant, he called it quits, literally.
His friend who recommended him the job, as well as his employee-turned-employer, promised to get to the root of the matter and give him a proper explanation.
Well! The nerve of that co-boss!
One thing though: Coco was not home.
She had my permission to go over to her friend's place to have a pre-birthday party.
What's a pre-birthday party, you ask.
It's a party to celebrate a birthday that's not here yet, but celebrated because the girls wanted an excuse of some sort to gather for fun!
When I asked my mother what had happened (since my father was supposed to be at work), she said that he had quit.
I inquired further from my father.
He said that he received his pay for the first fifteen days that he had worked, and to his horror, he only received just about half of what was agreed on with his employer.
It turned out that his employer had a co-boss who issued the pay check, and he decided that my father would get that little money for the over ten hours he clocked every day.
My father did his Maths and calculated that he was paid less than $4 per hour!
Indignant, he called it quits, literally.
His friend who recommended him the job, as well as his employee-turned-employer, promised to get to the root of the matter and give him a proper explanation.
Well! The nerve of that co-boss!
Much-ado about nothing
A colleague had to swap a period of lesson with me to go through a paper with my English class.
I went over to her high-ability class, not knowing what I could do with them. Exams were over and I did not teach them in any subject.
I was somewhat relieved when I saw the colleague who was not the class' subject teacher either walking out of the class.
I asked him, hoping to have something for the children to do,"What did you do with the class?"
He replied nonchalantly,"What they have been doing."
I was a little surprised, since exams were over,"Oh, what have they been doing?"
He quipped,"Nothing."
I went over to her high-ability class, not knowing what I could do with them. Exams were over and I did not teach them in any subject.
I was somewhat relieved when I saw the colleague who was not the class' subject teacher either walking out of the class.
I asked him, hoping to have something for the children to do,"What did you do with the class?"
He replied nonchalantly,"What they have been doing."
I was a little surprised, since exams were over,"Oh, what have they been doing?"
He quipped,"Nothing."
Friday, 12 November 2010
The Interview
I am back from the interview.
For all the jittery I was feeling earlier on, I am glad I went :)
The small-build 'Executive Director' who interviewed me appeared to be in his thirties and was approachable and friendly. Humble and down-to-earth, he briefed me about his tuition centre in a casual manner. Never in a boastful tone. I am impressed. Not once throughout the interview did I feel threatened or apprehensive, for anything at all. When I searched my bag to find a pen to jot down notes on what he briefed me, he even asked,"Your handphone is ringing ah?" suggesting that I could pick up the phone in the midst of the interview.
The tuition centre seems protective of its teachers. He asked me never to give my contact number or email address to any of the parents. "Only call parents if really necessary at the centre. Otherwise, parents are asked to call the centre and leave a message for the teachers," he said. He did not want his teachers to be 'harassed'.
He kept emphasising that their system worked differently from the ministry, even in the delivery of teaching materials. "Lecture style," he said.
Lesson plans, scheme of work, notes, worksheets are prepared by the centre, unlike what we do in schools.
That sounds ... er ... easy.
He was very humble. Throughout the interview, he repeatedly using the word 'help' to suggest collaboration rather than a top-down employment approach ie. "You help me to start up the classes at this centre first ..."
He may not speak in top notch English, but I can almost guess that he is a good boss. I could almost feel that he was the kind of boss that people would willingly go an extra mile for in their work.
Of course I may not be right. After all, I fail badly at judging people.
We firmed up my working day and hours very quickly, although the interview itself stretched for more than an hour. The interview started at about 5.45pm and ended at 6.55pm.
For the unaware, teachers are allowed to work for 6 hours per week outside school. I forgot that many people don't know about this guideline and remembered it only when my parents expressed concern that I would be 'found out' and get sacked.
This is a start to gauge if I am suitable to work outside school. If I like it, then it is an alternative for me to consider.
For all the jittery I was feeling earlier on, I am glad I went :)
The small-build 'Executive Director' who interviewed me appeared to be in his thirties and was approachable and friendly. Humble and down-to-earth, he briefed me about his tuition centre in a casual manner. Never in a boastful tone. I am impressed. Not once throughout the interview did I feel threatened or apprehensive, for anything at all. When I searched my bag to find a pen to jot down notes on what he briefed me, he even asked,"Your handphone is ringing ah?" suggesting that I could pick up the phone in the midst of the interview.
The tuition centre seems protective of its teachers. He asked me never to give my contact number or email address to any of the parents. "Only call parents if really necessary at the centre. Otherwise, parents are asked to call the centre and leave a message for the teachers," he said. He did not want his teachers to be 'harassed'.
He kept emphasising that their system worked differently from the ministry, even in the delivery of teaching materials. "Lecture style," he said.
Lesson plans, scheme of work, notes, worksheets are prepared by the centre, unlike what we do in schools.
That sounds ... er ... easy.
He was very humble. Throughout the interview, he repeatedly using the word 'help' to suggest collaboration rather than a top-down employment approach ie. "You help me to start up the classes at this centre first ..."
He may not speak in top notch English, but I can almost guess that he is a good boss. I could almost feel that he was the kind of boss that people would willingly go an extra mile for in their work.
Of course I may not be right. After all, I fail badly at judging people.
We firmed up my working day and hours very quickly, although the interview itself stretched for more than an hour. The interview started at about 5.45pm and ended at 6.55pm.
For the unaware, teachers are allowed to work for 6 hours per week outside school. I forgot that many people don't know about this guideline and remembered it only when my parents expressed concern that I would be 'found out' and get sacked.
This is a start to gauge if I am suitable to work outside school. If I like it, then it is an alternative for me to consider.
Mixed thoughts, Mixed feelings
I am going for an interview in a while's time.
When I submitted my application, I didn't think that they would call me up for an interview, so I sent it anyway.
Less than two hours away from the interview, I feel panicky.
Suddenly, I feel as though I don't know what I want.
I guess I wanted to find out the kinda pay I could get if I were to be hired elsewhere.
But part of me worries.
True. I hate this system. In fact, I abhor it. I don't want to be under it, to be accused of something that I didn't intend to just so I could be part of a negative statistic. This system glorifies the wicked-hearted and the bootlickers. It does not do the real educators justice.
There is only one redeeming point for the job: the stability of it.
Yet, that is very important to me.
The moment I give it up, I will need to go by the rule of ' 手停口停' ('you get paid only on the day you work'). The day I rest or am sick is the day that my pay slips me by. I thought that a frightening idea.
I am not sure if it's really feasible for me.
Let me list down the pros and cons.
Pros of leaving the service:
1) I'll be a happy person for sure.
2) I no longer need to slog so hard just to earn a passing grade.
3) I no longer need to do lesson plans, which I hate.
4) I won't feel tired and depressed all day long.
Cons of leaving the service:
1) I won't get paid during the hols.
2) My pay will not be as stable.
Part of me feels that perhaps another school will be better. In fact, many ex-colleagues left this place and never looked back. They never fail to say that their new school is better - much better, in fact.
And I know that's true. This is not my first school. I have seen better teachers, better management, more meaningful programmes being run. This place loves inefficiencies and ineffectiveness, oh, and last-minute things. I have seen last-minute activities being run in other places, but none is as last-minute as this place.
But my main hangup is: this lousy place is going to give me an undesirable grade. Having just only one employer means that this grade will follow you for the rest of your life as long as you stay in this line. Your future bosses will also know that you're graded as such since your record will be sent to the new workplace.
I can't bear to walk around with this grade around my neck. It's very depressing, and humiliating.
That's my main reason for wanting to give up. If it didn't happen, I think I would never thought about quitting on a serious note, and even actively looking for another job.
When I submitted my application, I didn't think that they would call me up for an interview, so I sent it anyway.
Less than two hours away from the interview, I feel panicky.
Suddenly, I feel as though I don't know what I want.
I guess I wanted to find out the kinda pay I could get if I were to be hired elsewhere.
But part of me worries.
True. I hate this system. In fact, I abhor it. I don't want to be under it, to be accused of something that I didn't intend to just so I could be part of a negative statistic. This system glorifies the wicked-hearted and the bootlickers. It does not do the real educators justice.
There is only one redeeming point for the job: the stability of it.
Yet, that is very important to me.
The moment I give it up, I will need to go by the rule of ' 手停口停' ('you get paid only on the day you work'). The day I rest or am sick is the day that my pay slips me by. I thought that a frightening idea.
I am not sure if it's really feasible for me.
Let me list down the pros and cons.
Pros of leaving the service:
1) I'll be a happy person for sure.
2) I no longer need to slog so hard just to earn a passing grade.
3) I no longer need to do lesson plans, which I hate.
4) I won't feel tired and depressed all day long.
Cons of leaving the service:
1) I won't get paid during the hols.
2) My pay will not be as stable.
Part of me feels that perhaps another school will be better. In fact, many ex-colleagues left this place and never looked back. They never fail to say that their new school is better - much better, in fact.
And I know that's true. This is not my first school. I have seen better teachers, better management, more meaningful programmes being run. This place loves inefficiencies and ineffectiveness, oh, and last-minute things. I have seen last-minute activities being run in other places, but none is as last-minute as this place.
But my main hangup is: this lousy place is going to give me an undesirable grade. Having just only one employer means that this grade will follow you for the rest of your life as long as you stay in this line. Your future bosses will also know that you're graded as such since your record will be sent to the new workplace.
I can't bear to walk around with this grade around my neck. It's very depressing, and humiliating.
That's my main reason for wanting to give up. If it didn't happen, I think I would never thought about quitting on a serious note, and even actively looking for another job.
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Backdrop system is here
Today, I moved my piano into the supposedly baby's room - it has a cot, complete with a beautiful Fisher and Price Rainforest hanging mobile, and welcomed my two backdrops and Crossbar system to support the backdrops into my living room.
I must admit I feel a little regretful for wilfully moving the piano into the room because the parquet in the room is ruined. There are lots of wheel marks and dents in the wooden strips. I feel so sorry for the state the flooring is in. I had laid rubber sheets and cardboards on the floor, but unfortunately, they could not save the flooring. The 100kg object made its marks all over it.
The crossbar system is wide. Very wide. I had underestimated the length - I thought it would just be nine feet, but I forgot to include the stands which spread out in three prongs each way!
For some reason, I thought all would be well with the backdrop system and my 'best flash in the market' would suffice. I must admit again that I was disappointed with the pictures. I was hoping to see some professional-looking pictures - I certainly have underestimated the power of strobes. In fact, I am so disappointed I don't feel like uploading the pictures. They are not terrible as per se, I guess I had unrealistic expectations. After all, it's not the backdrop system that makes the difference.
I feel sort of ... sad ... (?) that I had sacrificed the parquet flooring to do something that disappointed me.
When I feel better about it, I'll post up the pics.
I must admit I feel a little regretful for wilfully moving the piano into the room because the parquet in the room is ruined. There are lots of wheel marks and dents in the wooden strips. I feel so sorry for the state the flooring is in. I had laid rubber sheets and cardboards on the floor, but unfortunately, they could not save the flooring. The 100kg object made its marks all over it.
The crossbar system is wide. Very wide. I had underestimated the length - I thought it would just be nine feet, but I forgot to include the stands which spread out in three prongs each way!
For some reason, I thought all would be well with the backdrop system and my 'best flash in the market' would suffice. I must admit again that I was disappointed with the pictures. I was hoping to see some professional-looking pictures - I certainly have underestimated the power of strobes. In fact, I am so disappointed I don't feel like uploading the pictures. They are not terrible as per se, I guess I had unrealistic expectations. After all, it's not the backdrop system that makes the difference.
I feel sort of ... sad ... (?) that I had sacrificed the parquet flooring to do something that disappointed me.
When I feel better about it, I'll post up the pics.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
'Stuck'? Not Me.
A dear friend emailed me a video on 'How Did I Get Stuck Here' by Joe Stowell.
I appreciate the sending of the video although I am not very interested in watching it. It should be about how we should not blame this and that for being in the bad places that we are. Perhaps my grumbles about my job has become too glaring on Facebook.
But I think she misunderstood me. I don't for a minute blame life or God or whatsoever that I am in the situation that I am.
If I really do blame anything, it's myself, my decisions that land me where I am.
The greatest hatred and resentment I have is my inability to make good decisions.
We are defined and shaped by the choices we make.
I make bad decisions. I live with them and their consequences. I don't ask how in heavens I get stuck in certain circumstances. I know I have to go through them for reasons I know not, but I am counting myself really fortunate now, because I have been through much worse.
One of the worst experiences was to endure being treated as a lower-class animal when I was working in a foreign-culture study centre. I had offended people out of ignorance and did not know what was wrong with the things I said. But often, people just took it personally and thought I deliberately attacked them when I never meant anything negative.
For instance, I casually complimented a co-worker that she had a straight nose. She was thoroughly offended! You'd think that anybody would think 'a straight nose' is a compliment. But she retaliated that I had a flat nose. I didn't know what was wrong with my 'compliment' until my supervisor told me not to comment on others' physical features. She later revealed that the co-worker in question had gone through several operations on her nose and paid $7000 for it.
I am sure something else must have given before the co-worker took to me so badly, although I feel that she must have felt highly strung about her nose that she reacted this way. In the first place, if she'd loved herself enough, or felt comfortable enough in her own skin, she wouldn't have started on her nose job journeys. But I seriously didn't have any idea. It was much later that I realised these different-skin-colour people probably didn't think that I was fit to talk so 'intimately' with them. It was also from then that I was convinced that it was true that they continued to live in the colonial master era. This is really why I would never send Coco to a lesson conducted by 'native speakers'. They are here to earn your money while laughing big ass off you.
In any case, I have never blamed life for the difficult journeys I have been and am going through. My favourite authoress had a character who appeared down and out after having gone through multiple highs in his career. He broke his leg, was quite penniless and unemployed. But he did not wallow in self-pity. He said,"Mountains or valleys, I enjoy every moment life offers." or simply '享受当下'.
For some reason, the word '当下' is very powerful to me.
A few weeks later, I will not face this situation that I am facing now.
When I look back on the nasty experiences I have been through, I feel that they are often useful in shaping my beliefs in many things that I have been naive or ignorant about, be it human nature or relationships. What did not break me truly have made me stronger. If I hadn't gone through those ordeals, what I am facing now can be really painful for me. For a woman in her thirties, what I need now is not bashing of pride or self-esteem. What I really need now is a wall of strength to withstand the bashings and the ability to deal with these political nonsense.
A couple of months later, I will be out of this school. Whether they block my posting to other schools and I quit or I get to go to another school, I won't be around to stay.
I have quite made up my mind. If this is the school that I am going to stay for another year, I really would rather quit. For all the restrictions and lousiness it has to offer, it has destroyed me as an educator, for the time being. I refuse to stay destroyed.
I appreciate the sending of the video although I am not very interested in watching it. It should be about how we should not blame this and that for being in the bad places that we are. Perhaps my grumbles about my job has become too glaring on Facebook.
But I think she misunderstood me. I don't for a minute blame life or God or whatsoever that I am in the situation that I am.
If I really do blame anything, it's myself, my decisions that land me where I am.
The greatest hatred and resentment I have is my inability to make good decisions.
We are defined and shaped by the choices we make.
I make bad decisions. I live with them and their consequences. I don't ask how in heavens I get stuck in certain circumstances. I know I have to go through them for reasons I know not, but I am counting myself really fortunate now, because I have been through much worse.
One of the worst experiences was to endure being treated as a lower-class animal when I was working in a foreign-culture study centre. I had offended people out of ignorance and did not know what was wrong with the things I said. But often, people just took it personally and thought I deliberately attacked them when I never meant anything negative.
For instance, I casually complimented a co-worker that she had a straight nose. She was thoroughly offended! You'd think that anybody would think 'a straight nose' is a compliment. But she retaliated that I had a flat nose. I didn't know what was wrong with my 'compliment' until my supervisor told me not to comment on others' physical features. She later revealed that the co-worker in question had gone through several operations on her nose and paid $7000 for it.
I am sure something else must have given before the co-worker took to me so badly, although I feel that she must have felt highly strung about her nose that she reacted this way. In the first place, if she'd loved herself enough, or felt comfortable enough in her own skin, she wouldn't have started on her nose job journeys. But I seriously didn't have any idea. It was much later that I realised these different-skin-colour people probably didn't think that I was fit to talk so 'intimately' with them. It was also from then that I was convinced that it was true that they continued to live in the colonial master era. This is really why I would never send Coco to a lesson conducted by 'native speakers'. They are here to earn your money while laughing big ass off you.
In any case, I have never blamed life for the difficult journeys I have been and am going through. My favourite authoress had a character who appeared down and out after having gone through multiple highs in his career. He broke his leg, was quite penniless and unemployed. But he did not wallow in self-pity. He said,"Mountains or valleys, I enjoy every moment life offers." or simply '享受当下'.
For some reason, the word '当下' is very powerful to me.
A few weeks later, I will not face this situation that I am facing now.
When I look back on the nasty experiences I have been through, I feel that they are often useful in shaping my beliefs in many things that I have been naive or ignorant about, be it human nature or relationships. What did not break me truly have made me stronger. If I hadn't gone through those ordeals, what I am facing now can be really painful for me. For a woman in her thirties, what I need now is not bashing of pride or self-esteem. What I really need now is a wall of strength to withstand the bashings and the ability to deal with these political nonsense.
A couple of months later, I will be out of this school. Whether they block my posting to other schools and I quit or I get to go to another school, I won't be around to stay.
I have quite made up my mind. If this is the school that I am going to stay for another year, I really would rather quit. For all the restrictions and lousiness it has to offer, it has destroyed me as an educator, for the time being. I refuse to stay destroyed.
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