Let me out

He's asked me to loan him $500 to pay for his and his father's handphone bills. He said he'll pay me back next week.

We've been through this many times. I said no. And he threw his temper. And threatened to let the lawyers sue us for bankruptcy.

I called up the bank to ask if the payment could be separated if we're divorced. And the guy said no. I don't know where to find $28,000 for this.

The more adversities we face, the more I see his lack of integrity and honesty, the more I see our vast differences in values, the more I feel that divorce is the only way.

I go to work with a bulging tummy, always feeling ill and nauseous and tired and weak. Even the cleaner asked me what sickness I have because I look pale and lips purplish. My well-meaning colleague suggested that I take a few days' leave to rest. But can I do that?

And he's still asking me for money, when there isn't enough money for my hospitalisation bill and the baby's stuff. He's not saving any money. He says the money is all spent on interests. I asked him,"So you're saying the interests are more than $3000?" And he tried to argue, that he also needs to pay the penalties for late payments. I asked him where his money goes to - he doesn't pay the conservancy fees, the phone bills, his handphone bills. The only thing that he's paying is just about the electricity bills, which he often waits till the electricity is cut off then he go pays. So exactly where does the money goes? He kept quiet, threw his temper.

I earn more than $500 less than he. I need to pay off my study loan, give my parents allowance and top up my father's travelling expenses, pay for Coco's ballet, piano lessons, schoolbus fees and possibly her English enrichment lessons. And he's expecting me to pay off his loans for him, when he's got the cashback from the bank already.

What kind of a husband is that?

What else can I do if I don't divorce him?

What future can the baby have with a father like him?

What kind of a father will he make?

I'm so tired I let Coco go for a church camp on her own with the church workers today so that I don't have to tend to her, do the housework, and do my schoolwork all at the same time. There isn't even a clean towel for bathing purpose. I don't even have clean clothes to wear.

When a husband doesn't even take care of the bare necessities and basics in the house, how can you call him a husband? This is the very reason I have not allowed Coco to call him 'Daddy' or myself to call him 'Hubby' for these more than two years. I can't bring myself to. He hasn't been able to assume the responsibilities a husband or a father should assume. He doesn't deserve to be addressed as such. I'd looked forward to have a husband I could call 'Hubby' ever since my first 'marriage', but he is not fit to be called as such. He's not. He has not provided us with the most basic items in life. We've not functioned as a family to date.

He actually said that I'm his wife and should help him out. I said,"If I'm your wife, then you should give me allowance instead of asking me for money all the time."

I would help him out if he'd been transparent in his expenses. But no. The moment I asked to see his payslip, he got agitated and quickly stopped me from changing his password that he didn't even know. I would help him out if he'd handed over his salary. I would chip in wherever I deem necessary. But no. He wants me to give him the money that he requests. That's all. What it's used for, I don't need to know. So my answer is no. This is my hard-earned money. I choose to stop being foolish. I've given you all that I could and all that I had. I've to start thinking and saving up for Coco.

Do you know why I married you?

I needed to give Coco a father. I needed a husband. I needed someone to help me take care of Coco's future. But no. You promised to do just that, but I now know it's an empty promise, just as all your promises are.

Now I know and can really appreciate what they meant when they said,'The greatest mistake a woman can make is to marry the wrong man."