William was telling me that a student's parent was constantly doing comparison between her daughter's school and Coco's school.
She said that her daughter's school also has students scoring more than 250 at PSLE, so the two schools are similar.
I brushed it off, adopting the if-you-know-you-are-better-there-is-nothing-to-fight-over attitude towards the silly comparison.
She persisted and argued with him over smses and watsapp. Her argument included an example: her daughter was doing better than Coco's primary school classmate who scored 258 and in her daughter's class, so similarly, an O level track school may not lose out to an IP school.
I adopted the all-schools-are-different-what's-there-to-compare attitude, especially when one is an O level track school whilst the other is an IP school.
She continued her silly battle. At the end of last year, she said her daughter's neighbourhood primary school is the same as, if not better than, a top school because her daughter was in the top 3 in class at sec one while Coco's primary school classmate failed 2 or 3 subjects.
It got a little irritating. I wish I have something intelligent to say to her as rebuttal.
At the same time, I sympathise with Coco's primary school classmate.
For a girl who scored 258 at PSLE and has gone to an O level track school, she ought to excel in the school.
It is puzzling to know that she becomes a totally different person when she goes to secondary school.
In Coco's primary school, she was the vice head-prefect who excelled academically.
When she goes to the O level track school, she doesn't do her homework but copies from her classmates when she reaches school the next morning.
She steals her classmates' books or belongings and hides them in another classmate's locker/s, possibly just for fun.
And she fails "2 or 3 subjects" at the end of sec one.
I once read, on a forum, about a girl who did well enough to get into good schools but she enrolled herself into a neighbourhood school for fear of stress.
She ended up playing truant and hiding school letters from her mother.
Eventually, she admitted to her mother that school had been boring for her.
Other parents on the forum encouraged the parent to transfer the daughter to a better school as they felt that it could be because the daughter was not sufficiently challenged in terms of the academics and that was the reason for her boredom.
I am wondering if the same could have happened to Coco's classmate.
She lives in a penthouse in a shopping mall in Orchard area. She doesn't need to steal anything.
She excelled in her studies in primary school. It is illogical that she does badly at a secondary school in which she is likely to be one of those who holds the highest T-score.
She was popular and well-loved in her primary school. A pretty girl with fair skin and Eurasian features. She doesn't need to invite unwanted attention to herself.
I went to her Facebook page (horrible mother-stalker of daughter's friends, I know) and saw that many of her Facebook friends went to top schools or IP schools. She was not active on Facebook.
William reckoned that the girl's parents would have wanted her to receive an overseas education after doing O levels, and that was why she was enrolled into an O level track school, but Coco defended that decision by saying that the girl had, all along, said that that school was her dream school.
It dawns on us that secondary school selection is ever so important. But then again, who would know what would happen? The girl's school is a good O level track girls' school. It is by no means a lousy school, but what has happened in the school or to the girl that such has happened to her? We can probably only make the best decision for our children based on the information available to us there and then.
I hope that things work out for this girl soon. It is really a waste to see an excellent student fading away.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Secondary school choice is important, but no one has perfect foresight to make the 'correct' decision. Much as there are merits to a good school, there are also a number of languishing kids in the top schools. Sometimes, the call is not so straightforward.
Even if our children make to the top schools, we cannot assume all will be automatically fine - they are growing up; there are different emotional challenges to contend with amongst a group of highly capable kids etc.
R
Thanks, R, for sharing.
You're so right there: No one has the perfect foresight to make the 'correct' decision.
It's so easy to think that the scores will help us make the decision, especially when you see the 'correct' decisions made on kiasuparents forum. The kids whose scores match the schools continue to thrive, if not excel, in their secondary schools. Yet in reality, I hear of more cases that don't fit and the children struggle, or get transferred out from top schools.
7 years later, may I remember to pray for the 'correct' direction.
At the primary school level, sometimes I wonder if kids from a top primary school feel stigmatized if they do not make it to a top secondary school. There's a certain societal expectation that in a top primary school, you have better programmes, better teachers, better notes, whatever, so how is it that you don't perform well for PSLE?
At the end of the day it is very individual and I think family support and encouragement are still key in helping the child tread his or her schooling years. There will be difficult moments and challenges wherever a child is.
(My own kids are not in a top primary school. At times I am exasperated at the lack of academic rigour and focus at the school. Yet, I am overall grateful because my kids are very happy to go to school everyday. If a school is not academic, I can push, albeit it takes effort. However if my child cannot cope with the pace in school, or gets frustrated because of the mountain of homework, it can be challenging too, albeit in a different way.)
R
Hi R,
You are right again. I think the pressure to do well in a top primary school is there, compared to kids who come from neighbourhood schools, even though everybody knows it is not totally realistic since not every child has the same ability.
I am not sure if such a belief had started from the point at which we tried to decide which school to enrol for: the school is good so I must get my child into this school at P1 registration. So if the school is good, then why is my child not performing at psle?
But it still comes down to the parents at the end of the day. I know of a parent whose child was in the last mainstream class of a top primary school. She just wanted her child to go to the Express stream as the child was scoring 30s in the school Maths papers and skipping words at Chinese Oral Reading. And he did. Went to a neighbourhood school's Express stream. And the parents were just so happy and relieved.
May parents, myself included, be enlightened.
Post a Comment