The only way some children learn

The tiny red dot has been riled up by a few videos that have gone viral lately, namely the K-pop contestant who said that she was not proud to be a Singaporean, the Brit prick who mocked at the Singapore peasants who take public transport and the Spectra boy who shouted at his teacher.

Of these videos, the Spectra boy's case struck a chord with me the most.

Because I had a very challenging year last year because of someone worse than him.

On top of the fact that I had a teacher-aid shadowing me at my lowest-achieving class, I had a very defiant boy who was constantly challenging authorities. Any teacher who entered the class would have his or her 'once-in-a-lifetime' encounter, whether you are a subject teacher or a relief teacher who just goes into the classroom for 30 minutes.

He always came late for school. He didn't want to pay attention in class. He wanted to play paper planes with friends when the children were supposed to do work. He found lessons boring and would walk around the classroom, trying to provoke you.

He spewed the most fluent string of vulgarities I had ever heard. In fact, he blurted them out so fast and furious the only word I could hear was the f word on a repeated basis.

He jumped at anyone who he suspected was using vulgarities on him, even a very mild-mannered girl. He was always ready to attack anyone - and I mean anyone - if he felt challenged.

When he didn't get the attention he wanted, he tore down the displays in the classroom. He removed all the pins on the noticeboard and left the notices and documents strewn on the floor. If you still don't give him the attention, he would start a string of verbal abuse at you or do something to his classmates to make you succumb to his demands.

An example of a scenario:

Me: Please go back to your seat. Do you want me to minus points from your group?

Boy: If you minus points from my group. You see what I will do!

Me: Are you threatening me?

Boy: YES!

The worst he did warranted a police report, even for his age, but such publicity would do a lot of harm to the boss' reputation and appraisal, so the teacher told him with gritted teeth,"I forgive, BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET." I am sure she meant it because the marks would have remained with her for at least a few days.

And he was only 9.

Each time he acted up, the teacher who was present or who 'triggered' his violence would have to write a report on what had happened and give a detailed verbal account to the counsellor and sometimes the boss.

I wrote at least 3 times. Another teacher said he wrote countless times because he saw the boy once a week and every week, he refused to let the boy have his way, and so the boy always exploded.

In that teacher's word, everytime he acted up, the teacher got punished.

Consequences? No agreement seemed to work with him. The counsellor had to change the rewards and consequences frequently to try to make him like the rewards and hate the consequences, but they seldom lasted long.

Under the 'suggestion' of the English teacher, he was placed at the front of the classroom - something I would never do with such a disruptive character. But she insisted so badly that she cc-ed the bosses and had the bosses pressured me to do so.

The way I saw it, he became worse because now he was in full view of the audience. He could have as much attention as he wanted now. But I didn't want to get myself into trouble because of him, so I let him be, by and by. And all the more so because I have not put a destructive character at the front of the class before that, and showered him with attention. My belief is that such a character gets worse with more attention since what they do in the first place was to get attention. So I ignored him most of the time.

However, he was not the only challenging character. As the class consisted of many special needs children and children who were easily distracted, some of the boys decided to emulate him, especially when they saw that no teacher could do anything to him.

I referred at least 4 to the counsellor for behavioural issues, and at least 2 for dyslexia, bearing in mind that these are new cases. And each time, I had to fill up a form that consisted of about 4 or 5 pages that went into the specifics of the child's behaviour, academic performance, and after which, I had to hunt down another 2 teachers to give me their feedback on the child before submitting it to the counsellor.

On top of what other normal teachers do, I was doing a lot of admin and paper work that other teachers would not need to do because of the class I had.

I felt exhausted - emotionally and physically, and discouraged, that a big group of these 9-years-olds would not put in any effort to learn, on top of the fact that I had to deal with the challenging boys.

Just one year after my break, I felt that I was ready to throw in the towel when I was totally enthusiastic in making a great comeback at the beginning of the year.

So I applied for another year of no-pay leave, but it wasn't approved, obviously.

But a break of one month is better than nothing. I just felt that I couldn't face these 'children' again.

For someone who was strict with classroom management, discipline was impossible with the boy around. I felt that my hands were tied, all the more so when a teacher-aid was around. The only thing she could help me with was to run to the office and get the counsellor or boss when the boy acted up. Other than that, I had to be very careful with the words I said to the boy especially when someone else was around. I felt tremendously pressured. I might have scolded the boy and told him off sternly if I didn't have an aid. With one, I didn't want her to make me look like a trigger in the worst case scenario.

Nobody truly understands what I went through, except for teachers who had their share of verbal abuse or physical abuse from him. And even then, their reaction didn't have to be 'monitored' by another person when faced with the boy.


Which is why I totally think that the teacher in the video could not have handled it better.

I felt that the 'Justin' in the video would never have apologised to his teacher if he was not condemned by the internet.

I think my challenging boy would only learn that he is wrong, if and only if, the whole world sees what he does, and condemns him collectively. His parents would then be able to feel the gravity of the situation, that this boy is a 'gone case' if they are still in denial that everything's good.