Of (Others) Posting Others' Pictures and Private Conversations Online

Have you ever seen people posting their spats online?

Some low-down ones actually post pictures of the ones they quarrel with or screenshots of their exchanges.

I find such methods low-down because it speaks of the kind of shady person they are.

Unless you have been harbouring thoughts or planning to attack this person you have exchanges with, a normal person would not screenshot these supposedly private conversations or private pictures and later on, splash them out on the internet, just to 'prove' he or she is right.

That is why I do not post pictures of people I have lousy encounters with even if I had saved their pictures or even conversations in my handphone.

I feel that pictures are personal. My pictures on this blog are personal. I am only sharing all my ugly Ultherapy pictures for the purpose of sharing my experience with the treatment for the benefit of those who are in the same dilemma as me before I took the leap of faith. In the event someone grabs these pictures and posts them on some forum or places I would be surprised to see them at, I would have no complaints. It speaks volumes about these people's character rather than mine.

Someone was telling me that I have 'scared' a bitch so much that she has hidden all her pictures from the internet. I laughed.

Is she afraid of me posting her pictures here?

I would never do that. I just wanted to put a face to the very insecure person who had been backstabbing me despite me not knowing her at all. That's all.

Posting pictures of someone on the internet has far-reaching effects and consequences. And I equate the acts to cyber-bullying.

I won't want anyone to take my pictures and post them somewhere else even though I have foolishly expose myself to such possibilities.

I save people's pictures or conversations for my own reference, often for only a private conversation between my friends and me. I am a private person, so I understand what privacy is to a normal person like me. 

And why would anyone need to screenshot a conversation between he and an acquaintance if the conversation is not part of some intelligence ploy?

Is the person who screenshot so untrustworthy that he has to screenshot the conversation just to prove that what he said is valid?

I simply say,"This guy has said this, this and this ... to me."

I would not say,"Look, these are what he said!" and show others a series of screenshot.

I think the person whose words were screenshot would be flabbergasted and felt entirely betrayed to find the private conversation splashed all over the internet.

To me, when people post screenshots of conversations - unless the conversations have been abusive, my first suspicion is often on the person who post them because it tells me more about the character of the poster than the person who was 'betrayed'.

I believe most of us do not word our messages according to this fear of 'what if one day this person decides to post our conversation online?" and we tend to be candid and frank. Our messages do not represent us - our tone, our intonation, our intentions, our positions, even our thoughts - very well, most of the time. I often adopt the devil's advocate or stand with the underdogs for my virtual representative on different platforms but it does not mean that is what I really stand for. I just feel that there are times when the minorities need a voice or a number when they constantly get hit down. Most people are more comfortable standing with the majority and they enjoy triumphing in numbers. To me, winning by numbers is often not a real win. Getting people to see the other side of the story is.

But of course, most people don't even want to see the other side that they are not on. 

My Ultherapy Experience

My first aesthetic treatment was doing a dermal filler more than 1.5 years ago.

I did it because I was distressed over my tear troughs. I had sought ways to resolve them using different types of eye creams and nothing worked.

My trawling of the Internet in search for a face-lift had aesthetic treatment websites and blog pages found their way to me and that was how I started exploring these non-surgical options.

I went back to Dr Siew Tuck Wah of Radium Medical Aesthetics for an Ultherapy treatment after thinking over Threadlift for 3 months.

This time, it was because I could see how saggy my cheeks were. It felt sad to see my own reflection in the shopping mall mirrors.

Although Threadlift offered a more dramatic and instant result, I was only brave enough to do Ultherapy.

So what is Ultherapy?

Ultherapy is the only FDA (Food and Drug Administration)-cleared, non-invasive procedure that lifts and tightens the skin on the neck, chin and brow and improves lines and wrinkles. 

A handpiece which is connected to the Ultherapy machine would be placed on the area to be treated. Ultrasound energy will be delivered via the handpiece to the different layers of the skin to stimulate the production of collagen. The machine has a screen which provides the doctor with real-time visualisation so that he is able to see the layer of tissue he is treating for specific targeting. 

Ultherapy is able to reach our skin at 3 different depths: 1.5mm, 3.0mm and 4.5mm. Being that precise and able to reach 4.5mm is something that most older face-lift machines could not do.

I had read up on Hifu and Thermage as well but Ultherapy seemed to be all the rage so Ultherapy it was.

Dr Siew did warn that Ultherapy was a painful treatment. According to him, he had patients who cried because of the pain. It sounded horrendous but the desire to have a lifted face triumphed. I was given some panadols to take while waiting for the treatment to commence.

After the nurse cleansed my face, I took a quick photo before anything was applied on my face.

Then my face was numbed and cling-wrapped to prepare for the treatment. 

If only my skin is always so tight!

Right before the treatment

I was amused to see markings mapped on my face - meant for Dr Siew to treat specific areas.

The treatment itself took about an hour. When Dr Siew first started the treatment, it really hurt. I felt like there was a group of red ants biting simultaneously on the area that the handpiece was placed! According to Dr Siew, the device was reaching a depth where the numbing cream could not reach. I bit the bullet and allowed the treatment to take its course.

In all, Dr Siew ran the handpiece over my face and jaw 3 times. Each time, the pain was not as strong as the previous. In fact, other than the very first time the handpiece was placed on my lower cheek, the rest were relatively painless. He was surprised when I said I felt nothing as he checked with me the next time he placed the handpiece on my cheek.

Dr Siew talked non-stop to me to distract me from the pain of Ultherapy. He talked about how Ultherapy was the gold standard for face-lift, how he himself uses the device as he didn't trust other doctors to do it for him, how Caucasian women prefer dermal fillers as they are more concerned about volume loss, how Ultherapy is better than Threadlift, how he was one of the first doctors to use Ultherapy machines and he had Westerners flying in to Singapore for the treatment as they wanted an FDA treatment, and other things that I have largely forgotten. 

In between the treatment, Dr Siew explained that Ultherapy is very versatile. Besides lifting and tightening my lower cheeks and corners of my eyes, Ultherapy can be used to target areas to lose volume as well, and he targeted volume loss for my jawline so that my double chin would not be so obvious.

After the treatment, he said his 'thank you' and left the room after informing me that I would be back for a review in two months.

Right after the treatment. All red.

In the resting room waiting for the swelling and redness to subside

It is said that there is no downtime for Ultherapy, meaning you can still go out and carry out your usual activities after the treatment, but I had this slight pain and soreness along my jawline for a few weeks. The first few days, I had to be gentle when I cleanse my face. Even after a month or two, I still felt that my jawline nearer to the ears were very sensitive and a bit sore. 

One day after the treatment, my face swelled like a pig's head! This is not 'downtime', meh?

After two months, I went back for a review with Dr Siew. The nurse took pictures of my face. After that, I met Dr Siew who reviewed the pictures with me. He pointed out that the shape of the face did slim a bit and the corners of my eyes were a little lifted. Although I agreed that those minor improvements were evident, I bluntly told Dr Siew that I was disappointed that the effect was not significant. He reassured me that there would still be improvements in the 3rd and 4th month and the effect would continue for the next 6 months before it starts to wear off in the 6 months after that.

I went away disappointed, finding it hard to believe that anything dramatic would take place.

A couple of weeks ago, I met up a friend who kindly commented that I looked younger. She was a nice person so I felt she must have just been polite.

Then, last Sunday, I saw on Facebook a lady that I had been following show her Ultherapy results after two months. I thought to myself: hmm ... my results were not that fantastic.

Anyway, I dug out the photo I took on the day I did Ultherapy, 13 October 2019. 

After that, I took a picture of myself and put them side by side for comparison:

13 Oct '19                                     16 Feb '20

My, oh my! There were some significant results!

I looked so saggy in the 'Before' picture but my skin in the 'After' picture was significantly tightened and lifted. Even the face shape has become that of a slimmer one! While my jowls and marionette lines are not eliminated, they are less pronounced now.

Actually, even my jaw lines from the side view are more defined now. For someone as fussy as me, when I mean 'defined', it means 'jaws are clearly angled'. 

The treatment cost me $4180 or thereabout. 

I have seen ads for half-priced Ultherapy treatment. Upon checking, these treatments only serve certain parts of the face eg. eyelids and cheeks. If you are looking for an Ultherapy treatment, do remember to enquire if the price is for full-face and upper-neck treatment. 

A White Rabbit Valentine's Dinner

He booked The White Rabbit for a Valentine's Day dinner three days prior to the Day itself. Yup, I was surprised he managed to get a table too!

I had long read that this was a romantic and gorgeous place so I had wanted to check it out.

It is set in a 1930s grand chapel. I thought it cute that they played on the words.

We tried to enter via this entrance but was ignored even when the staff walked past the door! So we made our way to the other side of the building to enter via The Rabbit Hole where a bar and alfresco drinking lounge were located.

There is a spacious drinking area at one end of the restaurant

Taken from where I was seated

It was a crowded day. All the tables were occupied and the diners at the centre tables were seated quite closely to one another! There was ambience music but it was largely overpowered by the market-level talking made by the lovebirds!

Very lovely place indeed but ambience for romantic dining is not that fantastic. Not very private except perhaps for the circle booth seats at the sides of the restaurant that I did not take pictures of.

The circle booth seats are the ones with accompanying arched lamps. 

Put the request down in the 'Notes' when you are placing a reservation if you want those tables.

The menu for the day

We decided to try all. So one set on the right for him and one set on the left for me.

This was served before the appetiser. It tasted like creme brulee or puree made of beetroot.

William did not like it. While I was not repulsed by it, I acknowledged that it would be too much if he gave his share to me. One serving was just nice.

The sour dough and a dollop of plain butter

I didn't finish the bread and butter. Period.

          

Appetiser: Ora King Salmon and Scallop Carpaccio

     

                             Wagyu Carpaccio

Basically, they were Italian raw fish slices and raw beef slices. Quite tasteless to me. 

Roasted Kuhlbarra Burramundi

He told me that burramundi is a more costly fish than cod. Then why do I prefer cod over burramundi? 

Well, I thought the burramundi was ordinary. I didn't like the sauce in the dish though.

Iberico Pork Collar

I am not a pork person. If there had been beef or lamb, I would have opted for either. For a non-pork lover, this was acceptable. The meat was tender and succulent for pork. However, at this point, I was starting to fill up. I could not finish the pork collar and had to ask William to finish it. William seemed to enjoy my main course though.

I honestly enjoyed this sorbet the most! 

The sorbet was lime-refreshing and not overly sour like most sorbet. William preferred its heart-shape chocolates though.

Fine Apple Tart

The apple tart came in the form of well-arranged apple slices with crepes underneath. I thought it was delicious and sweet all by itself. The vanilla ice-cream and sweet syrup added another level of sweetness to the already-sweet apple tart. A little too sweet for me.

It is very rare that I enjoy the desserts the most since I do not have a sweet tooth.

You are going to think I am crazy but I love the decor there and I liked even the washroom.

Just outside the washroom. This is so quaint.

I took so many pictures that a Caucasian lady I met outside the washroom asked,"Are you an Instagram person?"

Valentine's Day Flowers - The Good & The Bad

William always bought his Valentine's Day flowers from Xpress Flower. The flowers were beautiful, and the presentation, I would say, rather modern. I came across a florist's Facebook advertisement and thought the bouquet was grand and gorgeous. I showed William the picture and told him to order from another florist this year.

And he did. But not from the florist I asked him to.

He ordered from Far East Flora since it is an established florist and enjoys fantastic reviews.

Unbeknownst to us, we were about to be very surprised for our Valentine's Day.

I came home on the eve of Valentine's Day to a supposedly pleasant surprise: 

There was a carton box of pink roses waiting for me.

Except that the surprises were nasty.

Firstly, Valentine's Day roses are supposed to arrive on Valentine's Day itself, right? Where's the surprise when they come so early? At night too?

Secondly, I am not exactly a pink-roses person. Roses are beautiful but this shade of pink is a little old-fashioned and cringey. But well, he did spend a bomb on the bouquet, so I shouldn't complain about the choice of colours and flowers.

Thirdly, the bouquet looked like it was something from at least two decades ago. 20 years ago, or even 40 years ago, the trend for flowers would be something like this: roses with baby's breath. But now it's 2020! I have seen better flower fashion than this. This was as if the florist's flower sense was still stuck in the 1980s.

The nastiest surprise of all, though, was the flowers themselves. Upon closer look, the petals of most, if not all, flowers were curling and browning. It was a dying bouquet.

I asked William what he did to make Far East Flora send a bouquet like that. He replied,"What could I have done? I wouldn't have written 'Please send dying flowers' when I ordered them!"

I passed the verdict,"These flowers are not acceptable."

He said,"Okay, okay. I will give them a bad review (online)."

!!!

I yelled,"NOOOO! Go and ask the florist to change a new bouquet! How can they even use this kinda flowers?!!"

A sister of mine asked if William had kept the bouquet for three days before he gave it to me.

My sister-in-law was in my house and she asked,"Is the florist implying that your marriage is withering?"

At 10pm, William wrote an email to Far East Flora to complain about the state of flowers and asked for a refund.

I was rather impressed that the florist replied within half an hour that a refund was not possible but we could choose another bouquet and they would deliver it the next day.

So I deliberated between these two available ones and chose the one on the right. William requested for a 2-5pm delivery since we would be going out for a dinner at 5pm. The florist agreed and 'explained' that the roses could have been bruised during the delivery.

I told William he should rebut the explanation since that was such a lame excuse. How could every stalk of rose be bruised? However, he wanted to be nice and let it go.

Well, at 12.30pm on Valentine's Day, William informed me that Far East Flora called him to tell him that delivery that day was not possible. They could deliver it on any other day except that day and they would throw in a complimentary bouquet if he would allow them to deliver on another day!

Wow! We wouldn't expect something like that to come out from the mouth of an established and highly experienced florist. It was as if the florist did not understand the significance of flowers on a Valentine's Day.

Doesn't Far East Flora realise that they could spark a quarrel between a couple - over a missing bouquet on a Valentine's Day?

William asked for a refund. Far East Flora insisted that he had to pay the delivery charge of $10 - for delivering a wilting bouquet of roses that we didn't want!

William decided to go find another bouquet. He went to the nearest florist, which was Xpress Flower  (again), and showed the florist a picture of the bouquet he wanted.

By then, the flower choices had become limited, since most flowers were packed in big bouquets for delivery and small bouquets for teenage or army boys buying for their girlfriends.

And of course, prices of flowers would have shot up to double their normal days'.

This was the last-minute make-up bouquet

And we loved it

I have since read about the Floral Garage and The Better Florist sagas and I think my situation is a little bit better than those disgruntled customers whose wives and girlfriends did not receive their flowers or the delivery was ridiculously late and the flowers turned out dying or haphazardly arranged but I am still very disappointed with the sub-par service and flower sense of a long-time establishment like Far East Flora. 

Shouldn't a florist understand the significance of flowers and its delivery on a day like Valentine's Day more than an average person? Suggesting that a complimentary bouquet would be thrown in if they could deliver the flowers on 'any other day except today' only adds insult to injury. It only aggravates the situation and makes the customer angrier.

Like what a Facebook commenter stated on one of those erroneous florists' pages: Even if they have to cab around to deliver the flowers, they should for the damn money we paid.