Bags and a woman

I've decided to buy another bag. This time, an LV bag.

I'm never a bag person.

But recently, perhaps what my colleagues and a friend said made me relook at the way I treat myself.

Sometimes I wonder if my pinning of all hopes on Coco is doing her more harm than good. I've saved for her, spent every possible penny on her and expected her to deliver what I want. When she falls short of my expectations, I get exceptionally angry and disappointed.

I really want to see Coco as an ordinary human girl. She's bright for sure, but not exceptionally bright.

Sometimes I wonder if the way I bring her up has made her the way she is - laid back, sloppy, irresponsible, can't care less.

Of course she does have strengths. But these are the few traits in her that trigger the volcano in me. Every time.

So I decided to let go, and splurge on myself somewhat.

My colleagues and friend think I'm too thrifty and stingy on myself. I'll spend money on myself. And after buying that Kate Spade bag, I find that I feel better about myself. I don't feel so utterly deprived, a destitute mother. I thought it's therapeutic somewhat. It's in fact good for self-esteem. I know the talk about not needing designer bags to pull up self-esteem, but so what if it does my self-esteem some good?