I Passed!

I went for my second attempt at the driving test yesterday. And I passed, with a mere 6 demerit points!

The tester didn't even go through my mistakes with me at the waiting room after the test. He handed me the assessment slip and said,"You passed. Go to 4th level to watch a video."

'Overjoyed' is an understatement. I couldn't help but smiled and smiled and smiled.

The receptionist commended me as she returned me my result slip,"You are very good. So less points. Some people 8 times already still more than 50 points!"

This time round, the tester was an old, kind-looking man.

He was quiet throughout the test except giving instructions on where to go.

I breathed heavily to try to calm my nerves, almost throughout the test.

As I was about to move off at the start of the test, I realised that the car did not budge despite me stepping on the accelerator and lifting the clutch.

Then I realised I have not changed the gear from its 'free' position and released the handbrake!

I told myself that's at most 2 points off, or even zero, since it was the first time I made the mistake.

But I think the tester put it down as 'insufficient acceleration' which constituted 4 points.

It helped that I thought it was only 2 points. If I had known he had knocked off 4 points, I might panic, again.

Everything else was smooth and good.

Earlier on during the last revision lesson, I mounted kerb on the crank course twice. The instructor was so nice. He told me to allow the kerb to go past the handle before turning and that worked beautifully for me.

Upon returning to the centre, as I drove back to the waiting room, I saw the '!' sign on the board. I was shocked, knowing that something was not right. Terms like 'handbrake', 'seatbelt', 'clutch', 'brake' rushed through my mind, but I decided not to do anything and pretended all was alright. I did not want to show the tester that I did not even know what the sign meant.

This time round, the tester did not make me lane-change under heavy traffic condition, and he took me to a proper test route! So my hunch was right: if the tester means to fail you, he will take you to a heavy traffic area to do lane-change.

I am a worry wart and a nervous wreck. Practicals are far more challenging for me than an average person. My hands turn cold involuntarily, goosebumps rise on me all over and my stomach churns when nearing test time. I would need to go to the toilet, and something solid would really come out. In the days that lead up to the actual assessment, I would suffer insomnia.

How did I go through it all afraid and nervous? I read sad stuff that made me feel depressed or pensive. I read an article 'liked' by a friend about how the writer's lumberjack father was frustrated by his failing body. It calmed me and made me think that there is more to life than a driving test. And even if I don't pass the test, forever and ever, it is not as if I am handicapped or paralysed. I got nothing to lose, except money and time invested in the driving lessons.

It was not easy, still. I was still nervous when the tester sat beside me. So I breathed heavily. Doesn't matter that the tester know I am nervous. Know lor. Fail, fail lor. Not like I never fail before.

So I think feeling depressed and pessimistic about myself passing helped. Of course, at the back of my mind, I knew that if I failed again, I might not have the time to do it again, but I just had to tell myself that not knowing how to drive was okay. Anyway, I was deemed by the whole world not to be able to drive ever, for the technophobic that I am.

Oh oh, and for my second attempt, I did not tell anyone except William about it, until I passed it - an advice given by my third sister. Her exact words: Next time, don't tell anyone about it.

That really helped!