I call them Chatfriends

It didn't strike me that 'chatfriend' is a term I coined myself until one of the chatters repeated it seemingly thoughtfully and commented that it was an interesting term.

I must admit that chatting for hours is not exactly healthy, like blogging, simply because it is not exactly reality.

I used to have a chatter that I chatted 7 hours straight with every Friday and Saturday. I was in love with him, without myself knowing. We didn't tell each other outright that we love each other seriously. We didn't have the courage I guess. The relationship was too perfect to be broken.

We didn't have an awkward moment of pause. We just kept on chatting as if we were in real world. He made me laugh out loud in front of the computer, often. He gave me good advice and listened to my grouse. Sometimes, he was like my inner voice, telling me what I should do.

It ended after I entered into a relationship with William. It was after that that we admitted, over emails, that we liked each other very much, but both of us also admitted that it would be a tough fight, given the distance. We were not able to promise each other anything.

He did warn me that William was a jerk because of some things that he observed, from what I told him. But I dismissed it as jealousy.

About one year after I married, so did he.

I didn't mention that he was an Indian because I don't see this as pertinent. I mentioned his race so as not to create the illusion that you can meet your perfect partner on the net. I'm a Chinese inside out. Honestly, if not for the fact that he was an Indian, I really might have waited for him if he did ask. His being indian, as a culture, was tied up with his religion which his mother so advocated that made me feel that it wasn't possible between us.

I've had numerous pleasant experiences meeting up chatters.

At first, I was reluctant to meet up after reading so many horror stories about date-rape or molest.

Another reason I didn't want to meet up was because I was worried that the chatter might find me ugly and walk away after seeing my real person. I've always been plagued by complexion problem and am incredibly self-conscious about it, although now I am aware that it's not an exactly a big issue.

A few male friends had told me how they abandoned the date upon knowing that their potential date was not what they had imagined. I didn't want that to happen to me as I deemed it as most insulting.

A few meetups later, a female friend told me how her chat date met her driving a Mercs and gave a lousy excuse of having another appointment and dropping her off just a short distance after. That only meant one thing: that he didn't find her attractive.

I didn't want to suffer the same fate, no matter how old I get, although I don't mind being the dumper.

But most meetups have been pleasant.

I usually make a disclaimer before I meet them: I am not interested in sex, so no touching.

Most of the time, they are polite in their approach or on the first date.

I had met chatfriends for:
- dinner at restaurants
- a drink at a Club
- lunch at a restaurant

However, after a meetup, usually, if the relationship doesn't proceed to the next level, the chat normally diminishes. And men do take not wanting to advance to another level as being uninterested quite quickly.

But it doesn't really matter to me as usually I would have prepared myself not to take these virtual relationships too hard or seriously, although there were at least two of them who made me hope that I could have been more responsive. I haven't fallen in love with any of them and I hope I won't.