My Experience with Radiesse FIller

 I had initially gone to Dr Siew for fillers and Ultera to save my saggy face. 

However, he deemed my skin too sensitive and angrily red to be subjected to intense heat so he prescribed me with some oral medication to calm my skin down.

Knowing my concern about my skin in view of my upcoming trip, Dr Siew proposed using Radiesse fillers. 

Having utmost confidence in Dr Siew, I accepted his suggestion immediately and the procedure was done after my consultation. The whole procedure took less than an hour and I left the clinic at about 8.30pm.

Many things had changed compared to the my last trip to the clinic. Numbing cream application before the procedure was the norm but this time, Dr Siew injected anaesthesia directly into the skin which worked immediately. That meant that I did not have to spend at least 30 minutes waiting before the procedure could commence. However, it also meant that I had to endure more injections.

Before the procedure started, Dr Siew said that my face would be pierced six times - three on each side -after the anaesthetic injections. However, it was definitely more than six times. I lost count as I was nervous and busy clenching stress balls with both hands each time I was due to have an injection.

Dr Siew seemed to adore Radiesse as a filler. He said that it filled up nicely and firmed up the skin. As he was injecting it under my skin, he commented assuringly that "we are getting nice results", "looks different now, right?" (to a junior doctor who was watching on the side).

Dr Siew asked me if I was on any chronic medication. I said no, puzzled why he asked me that. He commented that I 'oozed quite a bit' as he injected. I reminded him that I did tell him about my sister who has Immune Thrombocytopenia (ITP), an autoimmune disease where blood does not clot well, when he asked me if I had blood clot problems.

He asked what autoimmune disease I had, to which I replied,"Hyperthyriodism." and he told me that I had 'delayed clotting'.

Dr Siew injected a few more times to use up the filler. I could feel that he jabbed me at the laugh lines and near the jaw lines. After the procedure, Dr Siew told me that the swelling of my face would take five days to subside.

I liked the effect as well. Not dramatic but enough for my sisters and a friend to agree that I looked different and better when they saw the before-and-after pictures.

Previously, I would experience hardness on my face for the first week but this time, it was soft from the get-go although my face felt tender due to the swelling and the many injections.

I hope that by the time I go for my trip, the effect would be even better. Dr Siew mentioned that it would take a few months before the effect reached its peak. 

My Journey of Melasma Treatment

I will be going on the most expensive trip in my life this year end with my mother. 

When I looked into the mirror, I was not happy with what I saw. For the ageing woman that I am, my cheeks are sagging and my eyes droopy. I hope to look decent in the pictures. I do not think that I am being vain. Nor am I afraid of getting old. I just thought that it isn't value-for-money if I am going to look bad in pictures for the kind of money I pay the tour agency.

So a fortnight ago, I returned to my most trusted doctor to consult about filler and Ulterapy.

This time, the pre-consultation process seemed more sophisticated than the last time I was there (in 2020).

The photography session for the before-and-after treatment was more particular. I was asked to look more directions and more pictures were taken of my face.

I was also led to a small room where I was asked to rest my chin on a machine and my face was photographed up close and later shown on a screen, with the inner layer of my skin being shown on Dr Siew's computer screen.

Dr Siew was appalled at the condition of my skin. He asked me what had happened such that my skin was so red and 'angry'.

I told him that I had gone to a reputable dermatologist in a private hospital, who came highly recommended by a colleague, to treat my melasma which formed a signature butterfly shape on my cheeks. However, while it worked very well for my colleague, it did not work for me. In fact, it exacerbated my problem.

Previously, my melasma was not that obvious. I would tell others I have melasma and they would ask me, "Where is it?"

Now, let's just say I do not need to tell anyone at all. My sister literally calls the two patches 'chao-tar', a hokkien term loosely translated as 'charred'.

It worsened my depression.

It seems the philosophy of the laser treatment was to draw the melasma out and lighten it using cream, until all of them was cleared.

However, the cream had to be used in sequence. I had to first apply the first cream and wait for at least half an hour before I could apply the second cream. But I often fell asleep before the next cream could be applied. That was because I came home at 11pm daily and would be so tired that I struggled to wait for time to pass.

Honestly, I was not convinced that the method worked. It's hard to be convinced when month after month, you come home with two burnt patches after the treatment, and you see them fade a little for a few days after the burnt scabs fall off, and then they return with a vengeance for the next three weeks.

After a year, I totally lost faith in the treatment and simply stopped going.

I had spent about $600 every month for a year and the melasma only became worse. I hated to take pictures because my cheeks would have two signature black patches. 

I also had to buy and use concealer in order to cover up the butterfly-shaped melasma on my cheeks. Worse, it didn't work perfectly. The melasma was still obvious in the pictures.

Previously, light powder would suffice. Now, even concealer had little effect. Imagine how depressing it was.

Dr Siew told me that my skin condition was not suitable to undergo Ulterapy. As the procedure required heat to penetrate the inner layer of the skin, he was worried that it could worsen my melasma. He said that my skin needed to stabilise and be calmer before he could carry out Ulterapy on me.

However, he knew I wanted to look decent in the pictures of my trip. He proposed doing filler.

At the same time, he proposed that I take oral medication for my melasma.

In fact, he said that oral medication is one of the most effective ways to treat melasma, but no doctor would tell you, because it is cheap.

My eyes widened in astonishment when he said that. I had been to a few dermatologists and aesthetic doctors but NONE of them had given me this option.

Besides the first dermatologist who prescribed me with cream, when my melasma was not so severe, the rest all proposed laser treatment.

He being Dr Siew, I decided to give oral medication a try. Indeed, a month's supply of pills targeting at treating melasma, a month's worth of oral sunblock and two weeks' worth of whitening pills set me back by just $495. 

Dr Siew said it would take six months to see the effect but just two weeks of taking the pills, I am seeing results. My melasma is lightening! Even my mother who is always critical saw the improvements. She was very happy for me. 

I will continue with the oral medication and hope my melasma could be further lightened.

I can't believe that so many doctors had been dishonest about this form of treatment just because they want to earn distressed women's money from laser treatment. It sends shudder down my spine thinking about the severe lack of integrity in doctors.

Come to think of it, I did see a poster about oral medication for melasma at a GP clinic near my mother's place. However, I chose to put my trust in the reputable dermatologist as my colleague had spoken very well of her. She said that the dermatologist genuinely wanted the best for her patients and was not working purely for money. 

How noble it sounded. Alas!

I solemnly declare that the one who is not working purely for money is Dr Siew. He is genuinely passionate about his work and wants the best results for his clients. 

For what he has done for me, I shall always be grateful. 

Changing Face of an ID

I have shared my horror stories of my renovation on various platforms.

Recently, a reader sent me a private message on a social media platform to ask me who my interior designer (ID) was. 

After I shared with her, she disappeared for a while before returning to me with a small screenshot of a property agent and asked if that was him.

Due to the tiny image, I was unable to tell for sure. However, as the ID’s name and surname is not a very common combination, I decided to go to his profile to take a look. 

As property agents’ pictures are professionally taken, and make them look younger, handsomer or more attractive than they really are, I was still not able to confirm purely by the image. However, something else confirmed the suspicion: his write-up.

He had a lengthy write-up about him having 20 years of interior design experience and giving honest advice.

I had no doubt that it’s him. 

A normal person would not emphasise on himself being honest, because it’s the least anyone should be. Only people who are dishonest need to stress that because deep down inside, they know better than anyone that they are dishonest and unscrupulous. 

I shudder to think anyone, especially female customers, would be tricked by him like I was. I wonder if there is any platform that I can warn others against him. 

I can imagine him telling his potential clients that he is able to propose design ideas when all he can do is to tell clients where they can put their dining table, sofa and television set, with some interior design terms thrown in. Think wabi sabi, japandi, modern luxury.

As parting words, I told the reader that I hope the scammer of an ID will fail at whatever he does. Apparently, his renovation business must not be doing well for him to try venturing into another field that requires nothing but good lying skills.

The Devil Comes in the Form of an Angel of Light

I had a friend whom I befriended when I became a parent volunteer.

She seemed like a nice and empathetic person.

She would invite me to be a parent volunteer for various events.

She was also on good terms with other parent volunteers. She would text me pictures of her attending gatherings with the rich tai-tais.

Her children were obedient and outstanding. She would tell me how thrifty and hardworking her daughter was and how promising her son was, and how her son's girlfriend was equally or more promising.

I put my guard down when she often talked about God. 

I started confiding in her. At first, she listened and was empathetic.

Then she started to change.

She would put me down and say that she was saying all the awful things because she cared for me. The typical "If I don't care about you, I wouldn't have bothered saying all these" line.

Almost everything I said was 'wrong'. She literally said, "You are wrong." in our conversation every time we spoke. She would call me and find out what I was up to and used the opportunities to tell me how bad I was doing or what I was doing wrong.

About Covid vaccination

During the Covid period, she supported Iris Koh's anti-vaccine movement. She would bombard me with links, articles. images and videos of how harmful the Covid vaccines were and how they were steps to getting the digital identification implanted in us.

Although I had my own reservations about the vaccination, part of me was influenced by her anti-vaccination ideas, thinking that she and her family also did not take any vaccination.

Over time, I suspected that she had received her vaccination. I asked her a few times but she was evasive. She ignored my question each time I asked if she had gone for the jab. Eventually, when it was made known that all school-going children had to take the jab, I asked her which vaccine did her child take. She said that she and her child took the Non-MRN vaccine.

So much for being anti-vaccine.

About my motherhood

She often criticised me for 'preferring to work'.

She would praise herself for being willing to sacrifice and be a stay-home mother to her children. The result was children who loved her and were obedient to her.

I tried to let her know that it is a privilege to be a stay-home mother and not every woman is so lucky to have a supportive husband who is able to bring home enough bacon for the family.

But no. She insisted that it was a lifestyle choice and I wanted to have a better lifestyle. 

I would tell her that she was lucky to be able to be a housewife only because she met a good man who had a normal idea of a family.

She was not convinced. She tried to tell me that her husband was not perfect either but she was very good at managing the household, that's why her marriage was such a blissful one.

About my income

She had always tried to find out how much I was earning.

Knowing her intention, I did not let her know.

She would assume that I was struggling and keep telling me I should earn more.

She kept saying that her friend who had returned to be an FAJT (Flexi-Adjunct Teacher) was earning $7000. If you are able to catch her drift, she was basically saying that I was earning a lot less than that amount.

After a few consecutive days that she said that, to shut her up, I told her that $7000 was actually not a lot, meaning "I earn more than that, ok!"

She really shut up about my income from then on.

About my job

After the episode about my income, she criticised that I was in my job for the money and not passion.

But soon after, her son who was still an undergrad was offered an assistant-lecturer job. She was raving over how well-paid he was 'just by sitting there'.

I was sarcastic, "Then your son is not in the job for the passion. He's only in it for the money."

Funnily enough, she did not see the elephant in the room. She did not think that it was a problem. 

About my ex-husband

To suggest that I was not a fantastic person, she mentioned that 'many people think that he is a good father'.

Well, by 'a good father', she meant that he was seen picking Baby up after school.

Remembering what Pastor Prince said (When people say 'many people'/'everybody', they mean they themselves, their wife and their dog!), I called her bluff, "I know J was the one who said that because she often talked to him when she met him while waiting to pick up her daughter." 

True enough,. That shut her up.

So basically, her 'many people' referred to herself and one other person.

About my disobedience

She was constantly telling me that she had a relationship with God, and that she was so blessed because she was obedient and did God's will. She told me one day God would question me why I never listen to Him when he had sent her to send His messages.

About my flat

During my renovation, she would criticise everything I bought or did.

In fact, she criticised the flat I bought. She said that she already bought the same kind of flat when she first got married. In case I did not believe her, she showed me a picture of her children in the flat.

Then she said how unsuitable the flat was for me and my mother.

About Coco

Of course. Everybody has an opinion about how lousy a mother I am to Coco. How could she miss that?

One moment, she criticised how permissive I was in Coco's upbringing; another moment, she criticised how controlling I was of Coco, resulting in how Coco had turned out.

Of course, she did not forget to juxtapose her daughter of the same age, but incredibly amazing, with Coco. 

About the ID

When I had doubts about the ID I was deliberating over, she dismissed my worries and told me that I was being paranoid and overly suspicious. "He is just trying to do your business" "He is not a scammer". When things turned out to be what I had suspected ie. the ID being a scammer, she immediately changed her tune, "I told you to stop hiring him already." 

When I reminded her that she was the one who asked me to hire him, she retorted ludicrously, "Now you are blaming me?"

About my renovation

When I said that I was going to install various smart or electrical devices, she warned me that my electrical bill was going to be "very high". I became worried, so I went online to ask fellow homeowners if that was true.

One of the homeowners commented, "I think your friend is jealous of you."

That jolted me into thinking why she had been saying all the awful things and finding every opportunity to belittle me.

About my problems

When I told her I broke down due to the renovation, she actually said, "You are a mess." and "You are too weak."

I decided that this person could not be the friend that she claimed she was. A friend does not hit you down when you are down. I also felt that she could not be of God. God is love. This person pretended to love but turned it into a sword to assassinate you when you were not looking.

I started to put up my guard and I was ready to block her on my phone.

I also started to retort her. I would also use "You are wrong" to let her have a taste of her own medicine. 

But I got tired of being nasty. I decided to block her. 

As I am typing this, I realised that the words to describe her was 'a hypocrite'.

I am glad I shut her out of my life. 

Never Say Never （to a Dishwasher)

When I first saw a free-standing dishwasher at my fifth sister’s place, I thought it’s such a redundant item. 

Although she had six mouths to feed, I felt that washing up dishes was something you could do in a jiffy. One plate takes  approximately 2 to 3 seconds to wash. How much time can a a mountain of dirty dishes take? 15 minutes? Why would you take the trouble to load the plates and bowls one by one onto a machine, buy and use expensive dishwashing tablets, let the machine run for a few hours and run up utility bills and then put the dishes back to where they belong?

However, a talk with an interior designer when I was searching for one made me consider one. He said there were only two them but he said the time saved from washing dishes could be used for other activities. 

What sealed the decision was that if I didn’t include a dishwasher in the kitchen renovation then, I would not be able to have it in future. 

So I shopped for a dishwasher and Bosch had a promotion then. I snagged it at $798. 

However, I had a lot of problems with my scammy ID who didn’t know how to do his job. He didn’t even advise me that having a dishwasher could mean a height increase of the kitchen counter. I am a shortie so a centimetre difference in height could mean the world to me. I was very anxious over it. 

I returned to Courts where I bought the dishwasher and asked for advice. The kind refrigerator sales assistant, Xiao Ming (小明）, helped me figure out a way to reduce the height: he recalled that a customer removed the top cover of the dishwasher and that brought the height down by about 2cm. I will always be grateful to him. 

The dumbass ID still laughed at me about my “bright” and “unprecedented” idea in his years of doing renovation. It turned out that it worked perfectly, except for the big gaps at the sides of the dishwasher, which again is due to the ID’s failure. I guess I should give thanks to God that the dishwasher was able to fit under the counter though. The scammer would definitely demand me to pay for a new set of kitchen cabinets if it could not go in. 

For the first one-and-a-half year, I didn’t use the machine. I was too depressed to cook or do anything except work. I am quite technophobic too so I had this fear that the machine would not work or spoil due to my improper usage.

My fifth sister and her husband were the ones who used the machine frequently when they moved in.

Before my fifth sister moved out, I asked her to teach me how to use it. Then one night, I mustered up my courage to try  washing a plate.

Then I received the divine revelation why people buy dishwashers: the plate cleaned by the dishwasher was much cleaner than a hand-washed one! It’s squeaky clean and squeaky to the touch!

Admittedly, I still don’t use it as often as my sister did, but when I do, I am grateful that yet another chore is being handled by a machine. In Chinese, we call it “解放双手” and this is literal releasing your hands from doing the dishes!

I use it after I bake or after a cooked lunch or dinner. 

Bowls, plates, mugs, small pot covers are placed on the top tray

Wok, pots and pans go to the bottom

Dishwashers are yet another ingenious invention!

My Pretty Mailbox

I get annoyed to see flyers being slot carelessly on my gate. I didn't buy an expensive gate-cum-door for people to slot ugly papers on my gate to look like my house is some warehouse. But I don't want a cheap looking Daiso basket hanging at my gate just to hold those flyers. So when I chanced upon a pretty country-theme  mailbox on Tao Bao, it got me thinking. 

I had a thousand reasons not to put it up, though:

- it’s not practical. The flyer distributers would find it more convenient to slot the flyers at my grilled gate. They probably won't ever bother to use it.

- it doesn’t fit my theme. My place is anything but country.

- I already have a mailbox at the void deck. This is redundant.

- it’s too small for a normal-sized parcel.

- I can’t drive a screw or a nail into the wall. I don’t have the tool, the skill and strength for it. 

- it’s external wall. I am not supposed to tamper with it.

- the mailbox needs two tiny screws to be put up. It won’t be straight. In fact, I don't even know if I'll ever get two screws to fit the two hanging holes of the mailbox!

But I thought about the mailbox each time I logged into the Tao Bao app.

I trawled through the whole Tao Bao app to make sure it was the loveliest mailbox of all.

Then I spent that $20 to stop myself from thinking so hard over it. If it can make me stop thinking and wondering if I should get it, it's money well-spent.

I bought two 3M wall-sticker screws that were tiny enough to go through the hanging holes. 

The mailbox does look slanted though. Oh well, let's not be 'so perfectionistic' - something I often hear from the people around me.

The clever ones know what the mailbox is for

But you will always have the recalcitrant ones

Besides the mailbox, I bought a cute unit number display. My goodness, there were tonnes of them on Tao Bao. I had a hard time choosing. There were classy ones, simple ones and cute ones. I decided to get something that's cute. The motion-sensor light is actually detachable. It's magnetic. I can just pluck it off the plate and charge it when the battery has run out. 

This is how the front of my flat looks like

That's a circular shoe cabinet. It's not a dustbin. 

The bench is metal, not wooden.

The grass mat is from a Tao Bao seller who supplies synthetic grass to the Beijing's Bird Nest Stadium. It actually only cost $15 which I thought was a steal. What caught me off guard was the shipping fee. $57. I ended up paying more than if I had gotten it off Shopee. Oh well, I told myself I would have an Olympic stadium quality grass mat.

Lost and Found (My Handphone!)

 I never thought I would ever misplace my handphone a second time.

The first time I misplaced my handphone was eons ago, more than 10 years ago.

I placed it on the toilet paper roll holder in a cubicle and left without it. When I remembered my handphone, I rushed back and a cleaner told me she gave it to the security guard counter at the management office. I claimed it back without much drama.

After that episode, I told myself this must never happen again. 

Nowadays, all my vital information is in the phone. If I lose it, I lose everything.

Strangely enough, the same thing happened!

I was using a toilet cubicle in the same mall. My hands were busy so I placed my phone on the toilet paper roll holder again. I always remembered that previously, my friend had said it’s very easy for people to forget their handphone after putting it there, so usually I would remember that and would not forget (again).

But I was preoccupied with a little one and was concerned that she could touch the door knob. After that, I washed my hands and left the toilet quickly.

As we left the mall, the sun was scorching so I took out my umbrella from my bag. When I kept the umbrella, I realised that my handphone was missing!

I panicked. I rushed back to the cubicle. There was a queue then but it just so happened that that particular cubicle door was opened. I rushed up to it and was expectedly disappointed. My phone was gone. 

Then a lady called me from behind, “Miss! Miss!”

I turned around and saw this young Indian lady passing me my handphone!

She told me she worked at the mall and was using the cubicle to change into her uniform and found my phone. She was going to pass it to the customer service. 

I was so grateful I thanked her profusely - no shit. You will really thank someone ‘profusely’ when this happens to you. It’s not just a compo gimmick. I felt that she saved my life!

I was so stunned and relieved by my unbelievable good luck that I walked out quite dazed.

Then I returned to the toilet to ask her for her name so that I could write a letter of appreciation to her, to her company.