Grabbed and Bruised

A few nights ago at 12.20am, Coco was coming home from McDonald's near my place.

A young guy who appeared to be in his early twenties and wearing the Grab Food uniform approached her and asked for her contact number.

Coco told him that she had a boyfriend and was not interested.

Instead of backing down, the guy immediately replied,"I also have a girlfriend. They don't have to know." 

Coco was taken aback by his flippant response. She said that she literally said 'lol' and tried to walk away.

To her shock, the guy grabbed her by the arm. 

It happened very fast. Coco was stunned but before she could respond, a lady who was walking past saw what was happening and asked,"Is there a problem?"

The guy immediately let go of Coco and said,"It was a misunderstanding."

When she came home, she recounted the incident to me, showing me her dark purple bruise.

This was taken two days after the incident

Outraged, I emailed Grab about the incident under 'I felt threatened by the delivery partner'.

Honestly, like Coco, I didn't think it was a big matter at first. I was just very disturbed that the guy had touched Coco in an inappropriate manner. I felt that it would come under 'harassment'. If he had asked Coco for her number just verbally without coming in contact with her body, even if he had pestered her a little, I would have let it go. I had guys stalking me for a distance before approaching me for my number at that age. One even simply stalked me, without any intention of approaching me, for quite some time until I shook him off. So I could understand why Coco didn't think much of it.

When I told my parents and siblings about the matter, they felt that a police report should be made as it would be 'outrage of modesty'. 

Grab called me this morning and advised me to make a police report so that they could launch an investigation.

However, Coco has refused to lodge a police report. 

She said that she doesn't want the guy to leave a criminal record with the police as he was very young.

I am still talking to her about the matter. Hopefully it would be resolved soon.

Cat Cafe for a Cat-Fearer

A very belated post dated back to 15 October 2016! I must have forgotten to publish it!

After Baby's mini party in school, I tagged along with Coco to meet her friend whom I also knew.

They were heading to The Cat Cafe in Bugjs Village.

After a little search on streetdirectory.com, I found the location. 

 

It was a shop on the third floor of a shophouse just opposite Bugis Junction.

 

I am not a big fan of cats but decided to peek into the shop just to know how it was like.

 

The shopfront was a cosy food and beverage counter.

The cafe charges by per entry.

$15 per entry, inclusive of a soft drink. If you want other drinks such as orange juice, a top-up of about $3 is required.

Before entering the cafe-room that was separated from the F&B counter by a sliding room, we were briefed on the dos and don'ts: 

1. Pat the cats on their head, not their body (as cats are defensive animals). 

2. Do not enter the cats' resting area. They are there to nap and rest.

3. They are sleepy after their first meal of the day so do not force-carry them. If they want to come to you, they will.

 

It was a bright and cosy place. Wooden structures were set up at different parts of the cafe for cats to climb or move around.

 

Cat lovers may sit at tables with floor cushions to be in close proximity to cats.

 

We were given a table seat by the window in a corner when the server sensed that I was fearful of cats.

 

Soothing music was played to create a calm and comfortable atmosphere for the cats and patrons alike.

 

The cats were very docile. They didn't flinch even when patrons waved silly toys in their faces.

 

I saw that the cats didn't stir even when they were patted on their heads.

I thought it a shame not to have pictures taken at a place like this.

 

I may not return if I miss the photography opportunities!

 

Better cam-whore with the cats before I regret it!

  

The cafe hung their resident cats' portraits on the walls and did a write-up on the temperament and behaviour of each cat.

 

Even the tables had reminders about the dos and don'ts.

 

A thoughtful cafe with thoughtful cat-loving patrons who were almost equally quiet as the cats so as not to frighten the cats.

Of First Hair and Cords

As I am on no-pay leave this year, I have a lot more time on my hand. I got into the undesirable habit of surfing the net too much, I must admit.

One morning, I was either surfing on one of the forums or Facebook when I chanced upon some mummies discussing making hair brushes out of their babies' first hair and making name stamps out of their babies' dried umbilical cord.

I was curious. During my time, the 'trend' was to create hand and footprints as mementos of the baby's first few days or first month. Hair brush and name stamp were virtually unheard of.

However, I had kept both my babies' first hair and dried umbilical cords, for 15 and 7 years respectively.

Now, why would I do that?

I kept the dried umbilical cords at my mother's advice. She claimed that keeping the dried cord helps ensure that the child have a good memory. I don't think highly of myself in the memory department so I had to keep it for my babies.

There is no logical or scientific explanation to my mother's claim, of course. It's probably an old wives' tale but I kept them anyway, in a small empty Obimin bottle made of darkened glass.

As for the hair, I had always loved their incredibly soft hair.

I took the girls to the hairdresser at their fourth month for the shave as a traditional practice.

Why fourth? I don't know the traditional belief behind that mysterious number. My mother said babies' hair is shaved at first or fourth month. They looked too fragile to be touched at the first month, and I wanted the hair to be intact for as long as possible.

Having kept these two items for each of my babies, I never knew what to do with them. The umbilical cords were in the dark little bottle sitting in a cabinet; Baby's hair was in a plastic bag in a drawer and what little I could save from Coco's traumatic hairdressing experience was contained in the tiniest ziplock bag in her baby album.

So I took an extreme interest in my new-found treasure!

With due diligence, I did my research on the experts in the matter.

There are only two companies in Singapore that create these products: Huaxia Taimaobi Centre (华夏胎毛笔) Huatsing Baby Souvenir 华新胎毛笔). Both companies also have active Facebook accounts that allow potential clients to inquire about their products and prices.

In the typical fashion of the research-obsessed, I went down to both the centres to make my enquiries. And anyone who knows me knows I am an asker who asks the weirdest questions.

I chose Huaxia in the end as I felt that I liked what I saw and the lady was able to educate me on the differences among the authentic liuli (coloured or glazed glass), crystal and artificial liuli.

Huat Sing had the geographical advantage over Huaxia but I felt that the Mainlander salesperson attending to me was not very used to having visiting customers. We had arranged an appointment prior to my visit but he was unprepared. The only samples he could show me were the ones in the display cabinet that were very limited. He also recommended the supposedly popular emperor-seal stamps to me and I did not fancy the size nor the designs. Compared to the lady at Huaxia, I felt that he was a little more pushy about his idea of 'good' or 'nice'. There was no mention about the hair brush samples.

I took a month or so to deliberate on what the girls and I wanted before I went back to Huaxia (KK branch) to place my order.

Welcome to the world of choices!

These are the hair brush samples and they are not exhaustive.

The decisions to make:

- the material (cloisonne, purple sandalwood, red sandalwood)

- the size (very small, small, medium or large)

- the design (full or half engraving, with or without camel bone, with or without accompanying name stamp at one end of the brush, with or without silver thread)

- the couplets or phrases to be imprinted on the brush

- the type of cap (normal transparent plastic or a matching brush cap)

- any other addition (child's lunar birth date)

The multitudes of baby hair brushes alone dazzled me. I was getting confused by the different makes and prices so I noted down the prices for the ones I was interested in and went home to think it over.

As for the cord stamps, there were three main choices: 

crystal （水晶）

$128 w/o GST

authentic liuli （全琉璃）

$228 w/o GST

artificial liuli （仿琉璃）or in Huatsing's words 'amber crystal' (琥珀水晶)

$88 w/o GST

I like the transparent element of crystal as it gives the clearest possible view of the umbilical cord but it looks the cheapest as it bears a striking resemblance to clear glass.

Obviously, the girls' eye for details have been well-trained. They set their mind on the most expensive product.

I made many requests:

- I wanted the liuli's three colours to be balanced and of equal mix. Some liuli had one or two dominating colours which I didn't like.

- I did not want the liuli's colour to block the view of the cord. I wanted the cord portion to be cleared of colours so that I could see it clearly.

- I wanted the colours to be somewhat light and not too dark.

- I wanted as little air bubbles as possible in the liuli.

The nice saleslady, Joyce, wrote down all my requests on the envelopes and said they would try to accommodate my requests as far as possible. But she also told me that none of her customers has made these requests. They only choose authentic liuli and the rest is taken care of by the workmanship master.

Coco's baby hair was too little so Joyce also cut some of her current hair on the spot to make up for the shortfall. Joyce said that the master would place the current hair on the inside while the baby hair would be on the outside as a wrap for the hair.

After about a month, the call to pick up the goods came. 

 

The brushes came in boxes beautifully wrapped in Chinese-print fabric.

 

The umbilical cord stamp boxes. 

Gorgeous and expensive-looking, don't you think?

 

How they look resting in the boxes

Each stamp has the girls' Chinese names engraved in 小篆，an ancient Chinese word form, at the bottom.

 

Baby's stamp

  

Baby's cord

I was more excited than anyone to see it!

'cord' in Hokkien is pronounced as 'zai' which sounds like 'cai' (财) in Chinese.

A little bit of baby hair (发) is added for the auspicious meaning of 'prosperity' (发财)

  

Coco's stamp

Therein lies the oval-shaped ink pad

 

Coco chose the full gold or yellow stamp as she thought the ones with coloured swirls were too childish for her liking (grrr ...).

 

Coco's cord up close

By the time I took it out from the Obimin bottle for the making of the stamp, the cord was beginning to disintegrate with some powder forming.

Baby's choice: red sandalwood with half engraving of phoenix (size: small)

$228 w/o GST

 

Coco's choice: red sandalwood with half engraving of phoenix on camel bone (size: small)

$228 w/o GST

I am very pleased with Huaxia's service and products. No doubt the stamps and brushes added up to quite a fortune, but I thought there isn't a better way to keep these two items as keepsakes.

I will definitely recommend Huaxia to anyone who wishes to keep their baby's hair and umbilical cord as mementos.

The pretty and younger lady who attended to all my enquiries at my first trip at Huaxia was helpful and informative while the nice and accommodating lady who attended to all my fuss was Joyce. 

What will I do with the stamps and brushes?

When the girls become independent adults or get married, they shall be given to them as invaluable presents or dowry.

This is what happens when you are getting on in age. You think about such things.  

Pompompurin Cafe for a Birthday Celebration

It was nearing Coco's birthday. I am not a Sanrio or any character fan usually but I thought it could be fun for the teenager to have her birthday at a themed cafe, so I suggested going to Pompompurin Cafe for her birthday celebration. For a second, I'd thought she might dismiss it as being 'childish' but she said yes readily.

For the uninitiated, like me, Pompompurin is a Sanrio character in the form of a golden retriever wearing a brown beret.

When I reached Level 4 of Orchard Central with William and Baby at 5pm on its opening day, I was quite surprised to see a snake of people making a beeline for the entrance even before dinner's time.

It was a one-hour wait before we reached the threshold of the cafe.

A peep into the cafe

When we settled down, one of the staff brought us a Pompompurin plush toy 'to take photo with'.

We cam-whored with the toy for at least 15 minutes just for fun of it!

And I must commend the patience of the staff. 

Not once did they interrupt to ask if we were ready to place our order.

Baby's order: Puru Puru Pudding Shake at $12.99

It was a glass of broken-up pudding with some sweet drink.

Baby and I did not take to it at all. It was left two-third un-drunk.

Coco's Love Love Hot Marshmallow Latte at $12.99

I did not ask her but she seemed to love it.

My Cookies & Cream Caramel Latte at $11.99

It tasted like ... passable, iced cappuccino?

Before we could place our order for our main course, the serving crew informed us that their signature Taco Rice in a Cup of Friendship was finished for the day:

I had wanted to try this. A major disappointment there but could not be helped.

Baby and William shared Mushroom & Bacon Carbonara ($26.99). 

It comes with a free Pompompurin mug when you make payment later.

A little funny episode ensued when William requested the staff to wash up the mug on the plate to bring home and the staff assured him a clean one would be given to him later.

Both Coco and her cousin had Pompompurin's Beef Stroganoff ($18.99).

Coco liked it but could not elaborate on the taste except telling me that "It was nice."

And mine's Pompompurin Coconut Milk Chicken Curry ($17.99).

It looked cute but the taste was at most passable.

I told the kids and William that we were not there to pay for the food but rather the ambiance and novelty.

Coco and her cousin had a pudding that went by 'I am Purin. Pompompurin' ($9.99).

They enjoyed it.

I tried it too and I have to say that was the only item that was the closest resemblance to some nice pudding.

We had to take a picture of our food and ourselves since I am not sure if we would ever be back!

I had called and checked that I could bring a cake in and the crew sang "Happy Birthday" song to Coco as the manager placed the cake on the table.'

We were pleasantly surprised!

And we had the must-have picture of every patron before leaving the cafe!

Verdict: 

The presentation of the food was cute and novel but the tastes were nothing out of the ordinary. We did not expect spectacular food at cafes like this though so we were not disappointed. However, we enjoyed our dinner very much as the service was great. Being the first night of their business, the crew were quick on their feet and rather attentive and patience. 

Will we be back? Not likely to be in a big group anymore since an ordinary meal for 4 adults and 1 child cost a whopping $165.85. But if you haven't been there, it will be fun to have a cosy meal there with a friend or someone close for novelty's sake.

A Mother's Worry About Her Little Girl

Coco had her braces removed early this month.

While I am relieved for her that she no longer needs to suffer the pain of monthly braces-tightening, and happy that she is looking prettier than ever, she has been getting unwanted or unnecessary attention from boys and even an older man.

As soon as her braces were off, she was followed by a middle-aged man while she was doing street sales. Fortunately she managed to shake him off. I shared with her my experiences of being followed by a middle-aged man and a teenage boy to let her know she was not alone.

She was approached by a boy at the street sales to have her number. I thought she was sensible to say no.

However, she has been exchanging messages with a boy via sms, and apparently, the boy took notice of her at a sports event and sent her a Facebook friend request, which she accepted and eventually, gave her number away - to a boy she has never met!

I didn't like the way the messages went. They were bordering on the edge of flirting. And I think they are too young for THIS, or THAT.

I am really bothered. I am very worried that Coco would be carried away by the attention she has been drawing.

When I first started getting boys' attention, I was flattered, but felt that these boys would have done the same thing to any other girl. During my O levels year, I was even suspicious that these boys were trying to distract me from my exams and trying to eliminate me as an enemy. Of course that was not true, but it showed how much 'self-control' I had. However, no matter how self-controlled I was, I suspect that it did get in the way. It got worse when I was studying for my A levels. In short, boys' attention was never a good thing for me. So I am especially fearful and worried when I see how history is unfolding right before my eyes .

I hope Coco will be level-headed as she explores this side of teenagehood. She appears to be overwhelmed by the attention she is getting. I know she is too young to be savvy in dealing with such. I have never imagined that I would dig up my histories to offer her my two cents'. In fact, I would have forgotten about them if she is not going through the same thing. I guess there is some merit in such experiences after all, even if they didn't bear much good fruit.

They always say that you worry about a boy when he's little, and you worry about a girl when she grows up.

There is truth in that.

Ear-piercing II

Coco had an unpleasant ear-piercing experience about 2 years ago.

I took her to an OG in Bugis to have her ears pierced by an auntie, thinking that an auntie should have ample experience in doing it. 

Big mistake.

It was a painful experience for Coco: figuratively and literally.

The auntie pulled at her left ear in an attempt to remove the piercing gadget when it was still attached to the ear-stud! It must have been excruciating for Coco.

After the painful session, Coco's ears never did heal, probably due to the fact that a pair of silver ear-studs was used. Her ears kept showing signs of an allergic reaction to the ear-studs by emitting transparent liquids.

In the end, we had to 'close' the pierced holes so that the allergy could stop.

2 years on, she requested to have her ears pierced again.

She saw that Bedazzled at Wisma Atria had this claim of 'Painless ear-piercing' in print and alerted me to it.

So we went ahead and did it. We chose a pair of white gold ear-studs that cost $85, inclusive of the piercing service.

The Filipino salesgirl sprayed some anaesthesia-like substance on Coco's ear-lobes before she did the piercing.

Surprisingly, everything was over within a minute. 

"Is it really 'painless'?" I asked. "Just a bit painful lah," so said Coco.

We have to apply a $10 ear-care solution twice a day on her pierced ears. So far, it looks great. No sign of allergy.

We will return to the shop for a review to check for allergy, and after six weeks, we will return again to have the ear-studs removed.

The teenage me in her

When I was a teenager, I had low self-esteem - primarily because I did badly in my studies especially from Sec 2 onwards. It was so bad that I thought I would end up in Normal Stream. I can't recall how I did eventually but I managed to remain in the Express Stream. My self-esteem continued to be low throughout my formal education journey, all the way till I went for training at NIE.

As a result of my low self-esteem, I had a deep need to belong. That was when City Harvest Church came into my life, but that was another story. Like what Coco is going through right now, I felt that no one understood me, and friends were better than family. I am not sure if other teenagers went through the same phase, but I certainly felt that the feelings were unique to me.

Today, I see the same happening to Coco.

She doesn't want to confide in me. Instead, she wants to look for the school counsellor. What I said in concern, she took it that I wanted to cover her 'inadequacies' up. I said that there could be stigma in getting counselling as usually the problematic kids are the ones who go for counselling. She read it as: You are not allowed to go for counselling as it brings shame on me.

What I said to point out her tardiness in picking up after herself, tidying up her room and revising her work, she took it as 'discouragement and demotivation'.

What I said in jest, that I could be her counsellor, she took it as a serious message that I really thought I was equipped to be one.

She is at an ultra-sensitive age - the age that I was.

What she doesn't know is: her mother went through the same phase as she did, and didn't have the luxury of a room to cry in private like she does.

She says that she wants to work hard but we are constantly demotivating her. I am not sure how we can better do this. I recall what my mother would say to me:

"You can't study one lah. Cannot means cannot."
"Stupid is stupid. No amount of studying would help."
"You cannot make it one."
"If you have it, you have it. If you don't, study how much also no use."

That sounds like true-blue demotivators to me, although I now know that was said with the intention to spur me into studying hard.

We said nothing like that to Coco. In fact, we told her that we believe in her, and that we know that she has the ability to do well. It is her laziness that is stopping her from achieving more. We are no experts in child psychology. Perhaps our tone doesn't sound convincing that we do believe in her since most of the time, we speak in exasperation since her laziness really gets on our nerves, but if we didn't believe that she could thrive in the school or the system, we wouldn't have allowed her to choose this school.

I don't know why different words can have the same result. How can "You are stupid!" and "You are not stupid!" have the same effect of demotivating a person?

I told myself I would never belittle my own child, which was why I stopped all the attempts made by my mother and sisters to call Coco 'stupid' when she was young. I was prepared to quarrel with them if the word came out of their mouth.

Today, Coco is saying that we are belittling her when what we are trying to do is to point out the clear-cut path she must take ie. diligence and being focused, and the consequences that she would face if she doesn't.

Generation gap, is this what it is?

Love them all!

Coco brought home a beautiful rose for me for Mother's Day.

It had the same faint, sweet fragrance that I once often received in church in my teenage days.

It brought back the pretty memories of those years for a short while.

She was even selective about the colour.

She didn't want to get a pink one as it's 'too common'.

She decided that this one was more beautiful.

And beautiful it was.

Baby made a cute bouquet of colourful flowers for me.

It could be mistaken for a cone of ice-cream, for how pretty it was!

I opened my mouth and attempted to put it in.

She exclaimed,"No! It's not ice-cream!"

Thank you, God, for giving me daughters.