Purely Parent on a Teachers' Day

 

I got the girls bottled candies from Sticky for their teachers for Teachers' Day for two years running.

The candies contained words customised for Teachers' Day which I thought was somewhat 'personalised' in terms of occupation. I also thought it was something small and easy to dispose of when the teachers are done with the present. My friends and I have problems deciding what to do with the impractical presents ie. paper/fabric flowers and soft toys after the Day is over. We usually keep them in forgotten places until years later, when we take them out again, besides trying to recall in vain which student gave what and reminiscing the wonderful things the students wrote about you, we often have to discard or give away the bulkier items to make room for storage. I take comfort in that I have kept the gifts for five years or more and the students would have forgotten about me (and the presents they gave). The only gifts I could keep without worrying about storage are cards which I often appreciate more than any other gifts.

This year, I bought seven bottles of candies for Baby and five for Coco. Baby was more decisive. She knew who she wanted to give to. She even wrote the names down on a piece of paper in case I forgot! Coco could not tell me a number though. I had to suggest 'Is five enough?'.

In the silence of the night, I decided to customise the bottles, by my own hands literally, by tying a ribbon on each bottle. I spent so much time on the first bottle trying to decide on the best length and figuring how to tie the bow-like ribbon that William remarked,"You cannot start a business - you spend too much time on making even one product!"

The effort paid off though. Baby loved the ribbons.

At Baby's school, I was enlisted to help out with a tea ceremony in which students were required to serve tea to their teachers as well as non-teaching staff. 

 

Parent-volunteers like me helped to pour out tea into paper teacups for the students to serve tea to their teachers. 

The school was still trying out different ways of tea-serving despite having started this tradition on Teachers' Day three or four years ago by the principal. Instructions via WhatsApp were unclear and despite being briefed on what to do, some parent-volunteers decided to improvise the steps or create their own systems which made the ceremony quite rowdy for some classes.

But all in all, it was quite smoothly run despite the hiccups and teething problems.

However, the hours were quite long and labour-intensive for a parent-volunteer activity. I was in school since 7.30am and it only ended at 12pm, with a one-hour break between 10am and 11am. We had to stand most of the time and the indoor sports hall was warm and humid. 

After the ceremony, I lingered around the neighbourhood to catch a few Clefairies and other Pokemons while waiting for school to end at 1.30pm.

When I reached home, I was exhausted. I dozed off while lying on the couch to have a short rest!

A Food Donation Drive Experience

 

Baby and I participated in a food donation drive jointly organised by Yong-En Care Centre and the school's parent-volunteer group on Wednesday.

The food to be distributed to the needy elderly were a loaf of bread and a small bottle of kaya each.

Each parent-volunteer was invited to bring her child or children along so that the little ones could witness how the food was distributed to the needy.

We were given a list of names and unit numbers and we were urged to knock on the door instead of pressing the doorbell as most of the doorbells were not working, like mine!

Baby was a great help. I am terrible with numbers and forget them the moment I look away, but she remembered them like clockwork and pointed me to the units right away after I had read them off the list,"It's here/there!"

If not for her, I would have forgotten to give out the kaya because I was trying to remember what I needed to do, step by step ie. knock on the door, shout for the resident, say 'I am here to distribute the bread to so-and-so.", tick against the names that the bread was given out to, put a cross against those who were not home and write the unit number and the next day's date on the slip of paper given to us, and slip it under the door, so that they could collect the food at the Centre right below their block.

I had thought I had brought the little one along to give her a new experience, but the little helper proved to be an efficient assistant to me instead!

Out of twelve recipients, five were not home.

It was my first time doing something like this and I felt a little, just a little, apprehensive. Baby was super enthusiastic though. Reminds me of the Chinese proverb '初生之犊不畏虎', rudimentarily translated as 'the new-born calves are not afraid of the tiger'.

Much to my relief, most of the recipients received the bread and kaya with thanks and said goodbye to us. Others smiled and took the food in and closed the door.

We peeked into some of their flats and quickly realised that those were 2-room rental flats. Some were neat and tidy while others were a little messy, and one occupied by two male elderly had the 'men's smell', obviously in quite a neglected state.

After giving out the bread and returning to the Centre, I realised I was one of the firsts to have returned. That was when I found out that we were supposed to make small talks with the residents! The only comfort was the lady-in-charge assured me that it was only if I was comfortable to do so.

I also found out more about Yong-En Care Centre after a cosy talk with the lady. She shared that the Centre is run by only a few staff who oversee and help out with other activities as well, such as help rendered to young single mothers, families with children who need tuition and elderly with senile dementia. It takes a lot of compassion and grit to work in a place like this. God bless these caring individuals who work tirelessly for the love for the needy!

After waiting around for another 45 minutes when most other parent volunteers had returned, I decided to make a move first to shop for Baby's classmate's birthday present.

When Baby and I got home, we felt incredibly tired, but Baby enjoyed the activity very much and thought the act of giving out of the bread was fun.  

I fell asleep at 9.30pm and woke up at 4am the next day!

Helping Out at Little India

My first official experience as a parent-volunteer (PV) was to help out at a learning journey with Baby's class. 

You wouldn't believe how competitive it is to be a parent volunteer in her class! In the beginning of the year, I had emailed the form teacher indicating my interest to be a parent volunteer for learning journeys. The teacher responded 'Noted' in her reply. However, I realised that the upcoming learning journey's PV vacancy was booked in advance by another mother nearer to the date of the first learning journey.

When the second learning journey was on the lips of Baby, and no letter had yet been given, I quickly sent a message to the teacher to tell her that I wanted to be a PV for the learning journey.

She responded,"You are the first!" and I got it.

We reached the heart of Little India after about thirty minutes on the bus.

The children were shown traditionally embraced Indian cultural items at a small cultural centre with a rather long lecture.

The guide showing and explaining about a unique architecture whose design consists of different cultural elements and influences ie. Western, Peranakan, Chinese and Malay.

I was extremely relieved when the guide finally took the children out on an outdoor journey!

 

During the break, the children saw a dead mouse and a boy or two tried touching it. The guide dished out a sombre lecture on how rats have harmful germs and bacteria on them and why the children should not have attempted touching it. The mood of the children instantly dipped to a drastic low.

We visited the Indian Heritage Centre where the children enjoyed trying on the different head gears and learnt about the history of different types of occupational uniforms or costumes which I doubt the seven- or eight-year-olds were likely to retain much.

Of course, the guide would not have missed out on one of the most important figures in India.

The children were asked if they would like to have Henna done on their hand and it would have been a wonder if they had said no!

 

Those who were keen on a Henna paid fifty cents each to the waiting Henna artists who did a quick and simple drawing on one of their hands.

It was a shame that too much time was spent listening to the guide's talk indoors earlier in the day. The children had to give the temple visit a miss, when the temple encompasses the essence of the Indian culture. 

Instead, the children were sat at a void deck to watch a demonstration of how the traditional Indian costumes were put on, which concluded the learning journey. The children watched in amusement as their friends were asked to don the unfamiliar costumes. 

The teacher and PVs were amused by something else though. A man approached us and asked if the guide could lower his volume as his booming voice was a source of noise pollution to the people working in a centre next to where the children were gathered.

Subsequently, on the learning journey itself, I learnt from another PV that the co-form teacher was asked not to come along as there were too many PVs for the trip! Indeed, four PVs and a teacher for a class of barely thirty was above and beyond what is required! Have you heard of parents being so enthusiastic as PVs that the teacher has to give way to parents? 

It was my first time going to school with Baby as a PV so it was quite exciting for me! But due to my old age, I actually felt tired after that. So where energy is concerned, it's better to have babies when you are younger.

Phase 2C: The Last Balloting Exercise

A total of 77 schools held the balloting exercise for Phase 2C today. It was also the last balloting exercise for these schools. 

Like the previous two sessions, I had the privilege to be present at Baby's school for the balloting exercise.

After bidding goodbye to Baby at 7.25am, I waited at the school canteen till 8am before I made my way up to the room reserved for the exercise.

A lady between late twenties and early thirties entered the room almost as early as I did and checked out the name list stuck on the wall.

Then she approached me and asked if the name list was meant for today's balloting session. When I replied 'yes', she revealed that her brother was an alumnus but thought he was to register today.

I informed her that the alumni phase is 2A, with the earlier phase being the one that has a fee to be paid, and these two phases were over a few weeks ago.

She called the brother and informed him about the nephew's name missing from the list and probably told him what I had told her. After that, she left.

What a shame, I thought. The brother must have missed the registration date for Phase 2A2. If he had joined the alumni association, the association would have notified him about the date for P1 registration.

A quick check of the name list would show that there was a less-than-fifty-percent chance for the ballot.

48 children, including a set of triplets and a pair of twins, vying for 21 seats, making it a total of 44 balls in the juggling gadget. Apparently, there was a withdrawal from a child in Phase 1, the Sibling Phase.

When the first number was drawn and read, the mother-and-grandmother pair who could not contain their exuberance (who could?) gave a short shrill cry in their excitement.

Subsequently, the rest of the parents whose numbers were drawn were rather restrained in their expression of joy. Most gave a wide smile and raised their hands when asked where the parents were.

When Seat No. 18 was drawn and the ball for the triplets rolled out, while the father of the triplets said,"Yes!" albeit in a restrained manner, everybody else was dismayed. Only one seat was left.

The last set of parents whom the last vacancy went to heaved a huge sigh of relief and as what the surrounding parents in Phase 2B did, those who sat around them congratulated them for their good luck. 

27 sets of parents had to leave disappointed.

A parent whose number was not drawn asked me what they should do following the unsuccessful balloting. I told her she had to look for another school which had vacancies for Phase 2C Supplementary.

As the parents were making payment for the parent-volunteer group fee, I discreetly shared with another parent-volunteer about the lady whose brother had missed the registration date for the alumni. She, in turn, shared with me that she had two friends who were unsuccessful in registering their children in schools in Bukit Timah area, the area they lived in, even at Phase 3. They cried when the Ministry of Education posted their children to schools in Sembawang! 

Such unfortunate incidents are stark reminders of how parents should exercise their privilege as citizens and select the next school very carefully. If the next available school at Phase 2CS does not have as great a standard as the choice school, at least make sure the location is a more convenient one for the children. Even if the remaining schools are lousy ones, you really wouldn't want to travel a long distance for a lousy school. 

Phase 2B Toto Exercise

Besides the Primary One Registration Balloting Exercise at Phase 2A2, I was also present at the balloting exercise at Phase 2B, the priority phase for parent-volunteers and grassroot leaders.

The balloting process was identical to the process at Phase 2A2.

The principal briefed the parents on what the parent-volunteers do and encouraged them to fill up the PV form and pay the PV fees if their child were given a place in the school. She humorously added,"You will pay anything if your child is balloted in!"

The odds looked promising for the ballot as there were 20 places for 23 numbers representing 25 children, including two pairs of twins.

The PVs' job was to hand out the form to the parents who got their child a place immediately after the child's number was read out.

This time, the parents who got a place were more explicit in expressing their delight at their number being drawn, and these parents started clapping for others whose numbers were subsequently drawn . Other parents followed suit. Never mind if they were truly happy for them. However, I noted that the parents whose numbers were drawn were less inclined to show their hand when asked where the parents were.

Another way these 2B parents were distinctly different from the 2A2 parents was that none of them took their child along for the balloting exercise, which I thought was wise.

The last number which was drawn was met with a rather loud exclamation of relief and exhilarated countenances. The balloting exercise concluded with the parents around the lucky parents congratulating them.

Before leaving the room, one of the mothers told the principal,"I am so happy! It will take one whole day before it sinks in!"

4 sets of parents had to leave disappointed.

The PVs, including me, busied ourselves with the collection of the fees, selling of the PV T-shirts and showing the parents how to fill up the online form for joining the PV group after the whole exercise.

Of Leaves & Flowers

 

The Garden Festival is around the corner and Baby's school will be showcasing its talents at Garden By The Bay some time this week.

I was in the school helping out with the preparations for the event. The jobscope included doing the ground work for the event by helping to cut flower stems and wrap flowers according to the requirements. It sounded simple enough.

 

I took Baby to school so that she could sleep in for another hour and after that, I waited till 8am before reporting at the venue as required.

I underestimated the requirement for the preparations. It was rather labour-intensive. The scissors I brought from home broke after cutting a few thick woody stems and one of the parent-volunteers in-charge lent me a cutter meant for cutting flower stems.

About twenty parent-volunteers turned up for the occasion.  From the receiving of flowers in huge boxes, to the unboxing, filling Toyogo boxes with water, cutting of stems, immersing flower stems in water and pulling out flowers to remove excessive leaves, everything was pure human labour. Behind the glamour of the event, there is an incredible amount of manual work to be done, by so many pairs of hands too!

The preparations make us realise that we don't just pay for the flowers and ribbons at the florist, but also the florist's ground work and creativity.

Look at the amount of leaves

 

and flowers!

 

 

 

 

 

When the flowers and leaves arrived at about 8.45am, we set to work cutting the stems and immersing the stems in water. By 10.30am, all were about done and we had to wait for two hours for the flowers to be 'conditioned', meaning the flowers would have, hopefully, absorbed enough water to preserve them till the end of the week. 

We sat around and waited for a while before breaking off for lunch, after which we returned to the room to wrap the flowers. However, there seemed to be too many pairs of hands in the room and I felt rather redundant there. By 1.30pm, I was quite tired and was relieved to leave the school with Baby. 

The Spirit Behind Parent-Volunteering

Whenever I share with my friend (yes, just one friend) and sisters that I am doing some parent-volunteering works in Baby's school, they ask the same question,"Your kids have already got into the school. What are you volunteering in the school for?"

My answer would be "To help out".

I am one of those people who are of the opinion that becoming a parent-volunteer for the purpose of gaining entry to your school of choice is against the spirit of volunteering.

It's a personal belief that 'volunteer' means one gives of one's time and energy for intrinsic reasons, not extrinsic. It should not be a form of labour in exchange for something else. 

That said, I have nothing against people who become parent-volunteers so that they can help their children gain entry to the school of choice at Phase 2B. It's a legitimate avenue after all. Perhaps I just don't like the way it is packaged. 

I personally would not offer my services in the capacity of a parent-volunteer to exchange for a seat for my child in a school as it contradicts with my belief. I read about a parent who became a parent-volunteer for the purpose of enrolling her child in the school two years back, but she could not go through with it as it was not her personal conviction to do so. I admire her courage to give up the 'privilege' of being a parent-volunteer as we know that even the quest to become parent-volunteers can be very competitive and the phase at which allows one to register for Primary One is a slightly less stressful one than Phase 2C, the phase that goes by home-school distance.

When I was a young mother, I had fantasised about myself becoming a volunteer at orphanages, with Coco in tow to help out as well. However, when I reflected more deeply on the 'motive' behind that gesture, I realised it was to allow Coco to see how fortunate she was compared to the abandoned children. It would not be fair to the children. The impact of the children feeling the misfortune of not having a mother would be exponentially greater when they see a child having a mother. Instead of giving, I would be reaping benefits at those poor children's expense instead. If I am not volunteering for a pure intention, then I'd better not do it. The volunteering idea was soon banished from my mind.

In the same way, I want to be a parent-volunteer without an agenda that could benefit myself, or at least tangibly or materially. Baby would be happy to see me as a parent-volunteer in school for sure. That would be a benefit I would reap. Other than that, I might get to learn about how the school works for certain things or events. Another benefit. 

Other than that, I don't think I should take away anything as a parent-volunteer.

That is why I volunteer my services only when the girls have gained entry into the schools.

Do I have a problem with my friends or sisters becoming parent-volunteers for the sake of Primary One registration? Of course not. 

It's similar to how I would not pay tens of thousands for a Hermes bag but I have no objection to another who can afford it. These are personal choices that the parties involved make for themselves and I will not give them a lengthy lecture on why they should not do it. In fact, I would fully understand if they choose to be parent-volunteers for P1 registration, because I am a parent, and all (okay, most) parents want the best for their children.

Once-In-A-Lifetime Primary One Balloting Exercise

I kay pohed at Primary One Balloting Exercise for Phase 2A2 today.

10 places have been taken up by those living within 1km (five of them) and between 1 to 2km (five of them). This balloting exercise is for: 

1) alumni who did not join the alumni association by paying the joining fee and live outside 2km of the school;

2) staff of the school who live outside 2km of the school.

I have never witnessed a balloting exercise. Curious about it, I requested to come in and help out. By 'helping out', it means harassing the parents to join the parent volunteer group after the balloting exercise.

I arrived bright and early at 8am. However, the balloting exercise only commenced at 9am. The principal appealed to the parents to wait for another five to ten minutes before she made a brief speech about how the balloting exercise would be conducted. 

I was impressed by the principal's kind gesture of looking through other schools' vacancies earlier in the day and informing parents of their other possible choices should they be unlucky in the balloting exercise, and she read off her printouts the number of vacancies in various good schools eg. Raffles Girls' Primary, Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary, Methodist Girls' Primary, Bukit Timah Primary, left on top of the 40 seats reserved for Phases B and C. And most of them were good schools!

By doing what she did, it shows that the principal is highly considerate of the feelings of potentially disappointed parents. It helped to cushion the disappointment that was to come. Perhaps this was a key reason none of the parents cried in disappointment after the balloting.

After about five to ten minutes of the speech, the balloting exercise commenced. A numbered name list of the children was shown on the screen. Each ball had a number on it, representing the children's names. Each time, before a ball was tossed into the metal rotating device, the vice principal held it up in view of every parent and called out the corresponding child's name to show that every ball (and number) was accounted for.

After all the balls were placed in the rotating device, the chairwoman of the alumni association started turning the device. 

When a ball rolled out, the principal held it up and called out the number, and the vice principal called out the name corresponding to the number. Some teachers of the school were also there and the first ball that rolled out belonged to one of the staff. A few female teachers could not suppress their joy and let out repressed squeals of delight. Subsequently, most parents whose ping pong balls were drawn were visibly over the moon with a few among them giving out audible 'yay!'

By 9.30am, the balloting exercise was over.

A couple of parents came with their children. While a boy got in and kissed the father on the lips to celebrate the good news, a girl who came with her mother did not have the same luck.

Nobody shed tears over the disappointment but as a bystander, I believe the alumni who did not have their balls drawn must have regretted not joining the alumni association and paying the fee.

When I picked Baby up after school, I told her about the little girl who did not get in the school.

Me: I feel bad (for her) that she didn't get in.

Baby: (looks at me in my eyes) It's not your fault!

For some reason, I still hope that whichever school the 10 or 11 children go to, they will make it back to their parent's school eventually.

Parent-Volunteering at Primary One Registration

I volunteered my service as a parent-volunteer (PV) for Primary One Registration Exercise for Phase 2A1, the phase the alumni have paid a fee to join the alumni association to increase their chance to ascertain a seat at their school of choice for their children.

I arrived at the school library at 7.45am to be briefed on what I was supposed to do. My duty was to invite these parents to join the existing parent-volunteer group so that they would contribute towards the group by making payment of a one-time nominal fee and volunteering their services for different events if they have the time to spare. A handful of parents were already waiting at the door when I reached the school. Primary One Registration has nothing to do with first-come-first-serve but these parents were awfully early!

The registration process started promptly at 8am. 

The parents were given a number tag each and they would look lost when they come up to the second level. I would direct them to the waiting queue or advise them to wait around till their number was called.

While these parents were waiting for their number to be called, other parent-volunteers and I went around terrorising the potential parents of the school to get them to join the parent-volunteer group.

There were at least three Caucasian husbands who came along with their alumna wife. It was then that I realised where those ang moh children come from. I often wondered how Caucasian children manage to get into the school as it is not common for Caucasians to study in mainstream schools in Singapore, much less a Chinese-majority school.

Some mothers were a little worried as the number climbed to beyond 100. The alumni phase rarely sees such a large number. In fact, for Baby's school, this is the first time it exceeds 100. 

They were assured that their children would get a place in the school as there were more vacancies than the number of registered alumni.

Two hours into the registration process, I was tasked to help out with photocopying the documents for parents who did not have duplicated copies of their ICs, the child's birth certificate, immunisation certificate and report book or PSLE certificate.

I took fleeting glances at the years the parents were born in and they were mostly younger than I.

Most of the mothers were born in the 80s ie. 1980, 1982, 1983 while the fathers were born three to seven years older. 

One of the fathers produced report cards instead of a report book, jesting,"Now you know how old I am." 

A few parents were visibly agitated when I told them they needed to bring their report books or PSLE certificate when they had neither. They insisted that they already had the letter certifying that they were the alumni of the school so it should suffice. Seeing that they were not convinced, I advised them to ask the parent-volunteers nearer to the lady at the registration table if the letter alone would suffice and hear what they had to say.

True enough, an administrative staff came down later and told me that the parents must show their report book or PSLE certificate as 'relevant documents' to prove their connection to the school for the registration process even though they have the alumni association letter. Parents without them had to return with the documents by 4.30pm on the same day to complete the registration process.

By about 11am, I had finished photocopying the documents for the last parent. I waited around and continued my task of terrorising waiting parents to get them to join the PV group. 

The queue for the final registration at the computer was still long but I decided to leave at 12pm for lunch so that I could return to pick Baby up from school at 1.30pm.

Overall, it was quite an interesting event to participate in as an observer. I got to have a feel of the profile of the parents in the school and it was refreshing to have an immersion experience in a phase I did not experience, although 2A2 isn't all too different sans the alumni association letter. I also noted that most fathers were present at the registration process. One or two fathers were all by themselves. It dawned on me that William is a minority when it comes to fatherhood.