On Red Note (小红书）, under posts that ask the question: What, in your opinion, is the greatest kind of evil?
This phrase"人性最大的恶就是在自己最小的权力范围内最大限度地为难别人" would often be posted in the Comments section. AI translates it as:
The greatest evil of human nature is to make things difficult for others within the smallest scope of one's power.
Think of the condo security guard who threatens to call the police on you just because you follow the residents who open the gate into the compound .
Instead of using his power to grant convenience, such people use their power to belittle others to make themselves feel superior while they still can.
That was how I felt about my sister during the Spain trip.
It gives me a shock I cannot get over, even after 3 months.
I cannot believe that this is the sister I thought I knew for 40 years.
After William, I realised that I should believe people when they show me their true colours, their worst colours.
I did not believe that William was the selfish, hypocritical thief and gambler that he showed himself to be. I chose to believe his 'clarifications' and his blaming of me for his wrongdoings.
It took me 16 years to know that it was his fault all along. He was a thief all along. He was a gambler all along. He was abusive all along.
I was taught, since young, not to look at the 'small' things. I was chided for being a perfectionist whenever I looked at the small things. I was told that I was petty and narrow-minded to be so finicky. I was taught to accept others' faults and not point fingers at others. I was taught to accept inferior quality for what I paid. I was taught to speak in a lowly way to people I paid in case they would not deliver acceptable service or goods to me.
In short, I was taught since young that I do not deserve good things in life.
My upbringing suited William well.
Whenever I voiced out my doubts and objections about his mistreatment of me, he dismissed them and said that I was too perfectionistic and expected too much of him.
Until a friend's pastor pointed out that what he had been doing was 'abuse'. It was something new to me. I was abused and I did not know, just because I did not get beaten up.
That pastor whom I don't know taught me that abuse may not take the form of physical bruises.
These few months, I feel very traumatised over the Spain trip. It was after the trip that I heard from my elder sister that my younger sister had asked her if she could take her place to go on the trip.
So she did not want to go in the first place, but she forced herself to go, which was why she was reluctant to pay her share.
I told her I hoped to have someone to help with the trip. I sent her the itinerary to let her take a look to make changes if necessary. Apparently, she didn't look except questioned me why I didn't schedule mealtimes into the itinerary. I asked her to insert the places she wanted to eat at in the itinerary. But she didn't do anything.
Then she got angry with me on the trip for not planning for meals.
At the last hotel, I got a rude shock when the reception lady told me that I had paid for two days of stay when I only needed to stay for one. I turned and looked at my sister because I thought she had helped me check. She just looked back at me and shrugged.
Because she was prepared not to pay, that's why she didn't bother to check.
When I proposed to stay at BNB (Bed and Breakfast) or apartments instead of hotels which were more expensive, she insisted that it had to be hotels for better service.
Under normal circumstances, would someone have insisted on a more expensive accommodation if she knows that she is not paying?
When I saw that she wasn't forthcoming in booking train tickets and hotels, I showed her her share of attraction tickets, train tickets and hotel stay that she should pay. After that, she became the awful person I never knew. However, whenever she talked to strangers, she was all smiles and polite.
For two weeks, I had to tread on eggshells in case I offended her. I had to take great care that I must not say things that might make her angry, or switch on lights when she's asleep, or make noise when she's asleep, or ask her to throw a piece of paper, or take up space on the hotel floor that she might need, or go to the bathroom when she needed it ... She might not get angry with everything but I really did not know what might get her angry. I never felt so miserably careful on a trip my whole life. And it was an expensive trip. Oh how I regretted asking her to come on the trip!
I am so shocked that till now, I haven't communicated with her after we came back from the trip. Previously, I would text her about what happened on my job, or funny texts or things that happened almost every day.
I felt that she had shown me her true colours on the trip. William taught me that the worst behaviour of a person is how the person is truly like.
I want to protect myself from someone who abuses my kindness.
