Braxton Hicks

The baby is at 31st week now.

Even right now, I can feel the baby's thumping - it's like the heart or pulse thumping at the bottom of my tummy. I wonder what that is.

I've been feeling some form of tightness in the abdomen. William says that it's because the baby's head is pushing against my stomach, but recently, I was reading some stuff online and came across some article on abdominal tightness. It mentioned that abdominal tightness has something to do with Braxton Hicks, in preparing the womb for contraction. Some forummers on singaporemotherhood also say that it might lead to premature birth of the baby and the baby needing to be warded which will 'cost a bomb'.

Unfortunately, I will only visit the gynae again more than 2 weeks later. I'm not sure if I should run to him now and request for some medicine to 'relax the stomach', as quoted the mummies.

I still haven't really decided on a name for the baby. I'm also thinking about her surname. I have all the reasons to have her following my surname and only 1 reason for her to take up William's - he's the father. But other than that, what else will he do to father her, I really wonder.

I've given William sufficient time to prove that he really treats Coco as his own and that he could support her and he hasn't. I had the intention of changing Coco's surname to his if he'd proved himself to be a good husband and father, but he has let us down badly. I don't want to have two kids having different surnames. I find that really awkward. I don't know how to explain to others without them speculating the unnecessary. But if the baby adopts my surname, I just have to tell people that I'm letting my children taking after my surname for personal reasons. What personal reasons can there be for 2 kids to have different surnames?

I'm also worried at the prospect of a divorce. If it happens, then my kids having different surnames would really be quite traumatic for them and for me.

If William had been a good husband, I won't have to dwell on all these dilemmas and struggle to decide on something so fundamental of a person's identity.

I can only wish my daughters marry someone of respectable character and financially sound enough to support them. As for myself, my fate is just about sealed.