Tuesday 23 September 2008

Sourcing for maternity pic photographer

I was enquiring about maternity photography packages from a seemingly passionate photographer via email.

Everything was good - he could offer me a good price and package except that the venue is my own place. I'm not very comfortable with a total stranger coming to my place with his wife. And my place is constantly messy and not visitor-ready. The thought of tidying and cleaning it up makes me feel exhausted already. I've been delaying my reply to him and contemplating another photographer who has a studio, albeit far, and comparatively expensive if I want to take back all pics.

All of a sudden, I am also gripped by a sense of self-consciousness. I didn't think much about being half nude in front of a photographer initially, until the photographer himself made it very explicit that his wife will be around and my husband MUST be around too.

It just made me feel ... self-conscious ... ? And uneasy all of a sudden. I just don't know how to respond anymore.

My maternity leave starts as of yesterday although there's no handover at work to speak of.

I looked at Coco and got worried.

I love her so much.

She's the reason I think life's worth living.

I'm worried that I won't have time for her once the baby arrives.

She was telling my father that I've been very harsh on her and beating her often ever since I got pregnant. I feel guilty about it, but I really don't have the extra energy to run after her, hounding her, and nagging at her for more than 10 times over 1 simple task anymore.

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