Wednesday, 4 July 2018

I am back

After a very, very long absence from the blogging world, I have decided to return to my little ol' attic.

I was away for a number of reasons. One of the more compelling ones being the fact that I was told my blog is not 'private' anymore.

I always knew my blog isn't private. I didn't set any pass code to restrict readership. I never thought there was a need to. I am a nobody. I am just an average human being trying to get by. I am full of flaws and shortcomings. I make more mistakes than the average person out there. This is just a virtual outlet for me to release my emotional outbursts and my thoughts. I don't have fantastic English, and I am not a linguistically expressive person, so I may not express myself as well as many other bloggers.

I am a private person.

I didn't think anyone would want to read what I write. For those few who did follow my blog, I really appreciate them bearing with my silliness and ignorance. For those who gave me affirmations, I have nothing but thankfulness and gratitude.

I was just shocked and puzzled why anyone would even bother about my mundane businesses, so much so that my life, my character, my marriage and even my kid ended up as topics over lunches or gossips. My friend would ask me not to post certain things on my blog 'because it's not private anymore'. Someone else would ask me 'to do something about my blog'.

The power of gossips.

Someone once said,"If you say something about a person to 7 people, that something you say would return to the person you have gossiped."

Well, I heard it from at least 3 people that people I never knew existed were talking about me! More than that, they judged me based on what they read. Granted, we are all judgmental in some ways. Some more so than others. But it still came as a shock when I knew I was judged based on one or two blogs. I am nobody, hello!

I could understand why people would know me when I am active in certain circles, but I don't even have fantastic readership on my blog, and I am that famous? 

That's hilarious.

Yeah, so it was an abrupt decision to stop blogging indefinitely. 

But much has happened during the hiatus.

I have resigned from my job since last October. The pay was nice for someone who never even imagined she would ever get a degree, but weariness finally caught up with me. I didn't want to fight or bow anymore. I have seen too many friends and colleagues leaving the job disheartened. I often wondered when it would be my turn. So when the music for the musical chair stopped, I saw that it was my turn to be 'out'. And I left.

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