The Devil Comes in the Form of an Angel of Light

I had a friend whom I befriended when I became a parent volunteer.

She seemed like a nice and empathetic person.

She would invite me to be a parent volunteer for various events.

She was also on good terms with other parent volunteers. She would text me pictures of her attending gatherings with the rich tai-tais.

Her children were obedient and outstanding. She would tell me how thrifty and hardworking her daughter was and how promising her son was, and how her son's girlfriend was equally or more promising.

I put my guard down when she often talked about God. 

I started confiding in her. At first, she listened and was empathetic.

Then she started to change.

She would put me down and say that she was saying all the awful things because she cared for me. The typical "If I don't care about you, I wouldn't have bothered saying all these" line.

Almost everything I said was 'wrong'. She literally said, "You are wrong." in our conversation every time we spoke. She would call me and find out what I was up to and used the opportunities to tell me how bad I was doing or what I was doing wrong.

About Covid vaccination

During the Covid period, she supported Iris Koh's anti-vaccine movement. She would bombard me with links, articles. images and videos of how harmful the Covid vaccines were and how they were steps to getting the digital identification implanted in us.

Although I had my own reservations about the vaccination, part of me was influenced by her anti-vaccination ideas, thinking that she and her family also did not take any vaccination.

Over time, I suspected that she had received her vaccination. I asked her a few times but she was evasive. She ignored my question each time I asked if she had gone for the jab. Eventually, when it was made known that all school-going children had to take the jab, I asked her which vaccine did her child take. She said that she and her child took the Non-MRN vaccine.

So much for being anti-vaccine.

About my motherhood

She often criticised me for 'preferring to work'.

She would praise herself for being willing to sacrifice and be a stay-home mother to her children. The result was children who loved her and were obedient to her.

I tried to let her know that it is a privilege to be a stay-home mother and not every woman is so lucky to have a supportive husband who is able to bring home enough bacon for the family.

But no. She insisted that it was a lifestyle choice and I wanted to have a better lifestyle. 

I would tell her that she was lucky to be able to be a housewife only because she met a good man who had a normal idea of a family.

She was not convinced. She tried to tell me that her husband was not perfect either but she was very good at managing the household, that's why her marriage was such a blissful one.

About my income

She had always tried to find out how much I was earning.

Knowing her intention, I did not let her know.

She would assume that I was struggling and keep telling me I should earn more.

She kept saying that her friend who had returned to be an FAJT (Flexi-Adjunct Teacher) was earning $7000. If you are able to catch her drift, she was basically saying that I was earning a lot less than that amount.

After a few consecutive days that she said that, to shut her up, I told her that $7000 was actually not a lot, meaning "I earn more than that, ok!"

She really shut up about my income from then on.

About my job

After the episode about my income, she criticised that I was in my job for the money and not passion.

But soon after, her son who was still an undergrad was offered an assistant-lecturer job. She was raving over how well-paid he was 'just by sitting there'.

I was sarcastic, "Then your son is not in the job for the passion. He's only in it for the money."

Funnily enough, she did not see the elephant in the room. She did not think that it was a problem. 

About my ex-husband

To suggest that I was not a fantastic person, she mentioned that 'many people think that he is a good father'.

Well, by 'a good father', she meant that he was seen picking Baby up after school.

Remembering what Pastor Prince said (When people say 'many people'/'everybody', they mean they themselves, their wife and their dog!), I called her bluff, "I know J was the one who said that because she often talked to him when she met him while waiting to pick up her daughter." 

True enough,. That shut her up.

So basically, her 'many people' referred to herself and one other person.

About my disobedience

She was constantly telling me that she had a relationship with God, and that she was so blessed because she was obedient and did God's will. She told me one day God would question me why I never listen to Him when he had sent her to send His messages.

About my flat

During my renovation, she would criticise everything I bought or did.

In fact, she criticised the flat I bought. She said that she already bought the same kind of flat when she first got married. In case I did not believe her, she showed me a picture of her children in the flat.

Then she said how unsuitable the flat was for me and my mother.

About Coco

Of course. Everybody has an opinion about how lousy a mother I am to Coco. How could she miss that?

One moment, she criticised how permissive I was in Coco's upbringing; another moment, she criticised how controlling I was of Coco, resulting in how Coco had turned out.

Of course, she did not forget to juxtapose her daughter of the same age, but incredibly amazing, with Coco. 

About the ID

When I had doubts about the ID I was deliberating over, she dismissed my worries and told me that I was being paranoid and overly suspicious. "He is just trying to do your business" "He is not a scammer". When things turned out to be what I had suspected ie. the ID being a scammer, she immediately changed her tune, "I told you to stop hiring him already." 

When I reminded her that she was the one who asked me to hire him, she retorted ludicrously, "Now you are blaming me?"

About my renovation

When I said that I was going to install various smart or electrical devices, she warned me that my electrical bill was going to be "very high". I became worried, so I went online to ask fellow homeowners if that was true.

One of the homeowners commented, "I think your friend is jealous of you."

That jolted me into thinking why she had been saying all the awful things and finding every opportunity to belittle me.

About my problems

When I told her I broke down due to the renovation, she actually said, "You are a mess." and "You are too weak."

I decided that this person could not be the friend that she claimed she was. A friend does not hit you down when you are down. I also felt that she could not be of God. God is love. This person pretended to love but turned it into a sword to assassinate you when you were not looking.

I started to put up my guard and I was ready to block her on my phone.

I also started to retort her. I would also use "You are wrong" to let her have a taste of her own medicine. 

But I got tired of being nasty. I decided to block her. 

As I am typing this, I realised that the words to describe her was 'a hypocrite'.

I am glad I shut her out of my life. 

Never Say Never （to a Dishwasher)

When I first saw a free-standing dishwasher at my fifth sister’s place, I thought it’s such a redundant item. 

Although she had six mouths to feed, I felt that washing up dishes was something you could do in a jiffy. One plate takes  approximately 2 to 3 seconds to wash. How much time can a a mountain of dirty dishes take? 15 minutes? Why would you take the trouble to load the plates and bowls one by one onto a machine, buy and use expensive dishwashing tablets, let the machine run for a few hours and run up utility bills and then put the dishes back to where they belong?

However, a talk with an interior designer when I was searching for one made me consider one. He said there were only two them but he said the time saved from washing dishes could be used for other activities. 

What sealed the decision was that if I didn’t include a dishwasher in the kitchen renovation then, I would not be able to have it in future. 

So I shopped for a dishwasher and Bosch had a promotion then. I snagged it at $798. 

However, I had a lot of problems with my scammy ID who didn’t know how to do his job. He didn’t even advise me that having a dishwasher could mean a height increase of the kitchen counter. I am a shortie so a centimetre difference in height could mean the world to me. I was very anxious over it. 

I returned to Courts where I bought the dishwasher and asked for advice. The kind refrigerator sales assistant, Xiao Ming (小明）, helped me figure out a way to reduce the height: he recalled that a customer removed the top cover of the dishwasher and that brought the height down by about 2cm. I will always be grateful to him. 

The dumbass ID still laughed at me about my “bright” and “unprecedented” idea in his years of doing renovation. It turned out that it worked perfectly, except for the big gaps at the sides of the dishwasher, which again is due to the ID’s failure. I guess I should give thanks to God that the dishwasher was able to fit under the counter though. The scammer would definitely demand me to pay for a new set of kitchen cabinets if it could not go in. 

For the first one-and-a-half year, I didn’t use the machine. I was too depressed to cook or do anything except work. I am quite technophobic too so I had this fear that the machine would not work or spoil due to my improper usage.

My fifth sister and her husband were the ones who used the machine frequently when they moved in.

Before my fifth sister moved out, I asked her to teach me how to use it. Then one night, I mustered up my courage to try  washing a plate.

Then I received the divine revelation why people buy dishwashers: the plate cleaned by the dishwasher was much cleaner than a hand-washed one! It’s squeaky clean and squeaky to the touch!

Admittedly, I still don’t use it as often as my sister did, but when I do, I am grateful that yet another chore is being handled by a machine. In Chinese, we call it “解放双手” and this is literal releasing your hands from doing the dishes!

I use it after I bake or after a cooked lunch or dinner. 

Bowls, plates, mugs, small pot covers are placed on the top tray

Wok, pots and pans go to the bottom

Dishwashers are yet another ingenious invention!

My Pretty Mailbox

I get annoyed to see flyers being slot carelessly on my gate. I didn't buy an expensive gate-cum-door for people to slot ugly papers on my gate to look like my house is some warehouse. But I don't want a cheap looking Daiso basket hanging at my gate just to hold those flyers. So when I chanced upon a pretty country-theme  mailbox on Tao Bao, it got me thinking. 

I had a thousand reasons not to put it up, though:

- it’s not practical. The flyer distributers would find it more convenient to slot the flyers at my grilled gate. They probably won't ever bother to use it.

- it doesn’t fit my theme. My place is anything but country.

- I already have a mailbox at the void deck. This is redundant.

- it’s too small for a normal-sized parcel.

- I can’t drive a screw or a nail into the wall. I don’t have the tool, the skill and strength for it. 

- it’s external wall. I am not supposed to tamper with it.

- the mailbox needs two tiny screws to be put up. It won’t be straight. In fact, I don't even know if I'll ever get two screws to fit the two hanging holes of the mailbox!

But I thought about the mailbox each time I logged into the Tao Bao app.

I trawled through the whole Tao Bao app to make sure it was the loveliest mailbox of all.

Then I spent that $20 to stop myself from thinking so hard over it. If it can make me stop thinking and wondering if I should get it, it's money well-spent.

I bought two 3M wall-sticker screws that were tiny enough to go through the hanging holes. 

The mailbox does look slanted though. Oh well, let's not be 'so perfectionistic' - something I often hear from the people around me.

The clever ones know what the mailbox is for

But you will always have the recalcitrant ones

Besides the mailbox, I bought a cute unit number display. My goodness, there were tonnes of them on Tao Bao. I had a hard time choosing. There were classy ones, simple ones and cute ones. I decided to get something that's cute. The motion-sensor light is actually detachable. It's magnetic. I can just pluck it off the plate and charge it when the battery has run out. 

This is how the front of my flat looks like

That's a circular shoe cabinet. It's not a dustbin. 

The bench is metal, not wooden.

The grass mat is from a Tao Bao seller who supplies synthetic grass to the Beijing's Bird Nest Stadium. It actually only cost $15 which I thought was a steal. What caught me off guard was the shipping fee. $57. I ended up paying more than if I had gotten it off Shopee. Oh well, I told myself I would have an Olympic stadium quality grass mat.

Lost and Found (My Handphone!)

 I never thought I would ever misplace my handphone a second time.

The first time I misplaced my handphone was eons ago, more than 10 years ago.

I placed it on the toilet paper roll holder in a cubicle and left without it. When I remembered my handphone, I rushed back and a cleaner told me she gave it to the security guard counter at the management office. I claimed it back without much drama.

After that episode, I told myself this must never happen again. 

Nowadays, all my vital information is in the phone. If I lose it, I lose everything.

Strangely enough, the same thing happened!

I was using a toilet cubicle in the same mall. My hands were busy so I placed my phone on the toilet paper roll holder again. I always remembered that previously, my friend had said it’s very easy for people to forget their handphone after putting it there, so usually I would remember that and would not forget (again).

But I was preoccupied with a little one and was concerned that she could touch the door knob. After that, I washed my hands and left the toilet quickly.

As we left the mall, the sun was scorching so I took out my umbrella from my bag. When I kept the umbrella, I realised that my handphone was missing!

I panicked. I rushed back to the cubicle. There was a queue then but it just so happened that that particular cubicle door was opened. I rushed up to it and was expectedly disappointed. My phone was gone. 

Then a lady called me from behind, “Miss! Miss!”

I turned around and saw this young Indian lady passing me my handphone!

She told me she worked at the mall and was using the cubicle to change into her uniform and found my phone. She was going to pass it to the customer service. 

I was so grateful I thanked her profusely - no shit. You will really thank someone ‘profusely’ when this happens to you. It’s not just a compo gimmick. I felt that she saved my life!

I was so stunned and relieved by my unbelievable good luck that I walked out quite dazed.

Then I returned to the toilet to ask her for her name so that I could write a letter of appreciation to her, to her company.

Marina Bay Sands (MBS) Hotel Stay

I used to wonder why people got to have free MBS hotel stay just because their parents went to its casino. 

My fourth sister, the one who resides in Malaysia, started asking us if we would like to stay over at MBS on weekends, with all meals thrown in, since last year.

Until now, I am still not sure how it works, but it seems you need to deposit a certain amount of money at the casino before withdrawing it, in order to be a registered guest of some sort. By gambling at the casino, you get to chalk up points. Whether you lose or win, the points you get when playing at the casino are the points you chalk up. According to my sister, they upgraded her for reasons that she knew not to that of the Paiza status. Such guests have the VIP status and they are offered free stays at Paiza rooms, usually large and luxurious at high levels, at MBS provided they come down personally to MBS to register for the stay.

I have since stayed at the hotel for quite a few times. I always go there with my mother as she loves the hotel stay and goes to the casino.

Last weekend, my sister gave us a 2-day stay, 24 to 26 May. 

Due to my work commitments, I could only joined my mother on Saturday night.

This time, the room was on the 43rd level of Tower 1 building.

It had the most spectacular facing we ever had. It overlooked Garden by the Bay at the bedroom’s full-height windows and the bathtub windows displayed the sights at the Singapore River where the glassy Louis Vuitton flagship store and Arts Science Museum were located. 

I no longer use a DSLR to document my life. I miss the bokeh and the prettier images but iPhone is just too convenient.

We went for breakfast at Paiza Sky Residence which was located on the 55th floor of Tower 2.

We had the choice of dining at Rise restaurant but I had tried the breakfast at Rise once and the experience was not fantastic. We were there past 10 and the staff only told us, after we were seated at 10.15am, that breakfast ended at 10.30am! 

We had to scramble to get our food first before settling down to have our breakfast at 10.30am.

The breakfast was an ordinary continental fare. Nothing worth shouting about. So we revert to the 55th floor’s breakfast from then on.

The food offered there is more curated. For example, the fried rice would be infused with an exotic but pleasant flavour or paired with unusual but palatable ingredients like otah. The danishes would not be your uncreative peach danish. I normally don’t eat the Vietnamese pho but I enjoyed it a lot that morning with tender beef pieces.

Where the staples and meats are

Fried rice with otah

Ramen

Platters of pastries

Honeycomb and bread-and-butter station

Cheeses and salad station which I almost never touch

Japanese station 

Cakes and sweets

Egg tarts

Pancakes and waffles

Ice cream flavours

A limousine, as they call it, sent my mother to church

The first time I took it, I told my sister via text that it was an MPV.

She was shocked and asked me to take a picture for her.

She told me that this is a 'limousine'.

My idea of a limousine remains as a long bodied car with six doors. 

We returned at 3pm for the afternoon tea (2.30-4pm).

The tea set came in a pretty rotatable tier set with warm scones on the side.

I had had it a few times and I always thought MBS served the worst afternoon tea but this time, I was able to eat most of them without having to cringe before eating.

MBS gave two tickets each for the sampan boat ride and the Digital Light Canvas

Booking a 5pm slot would allow you to enjoy the waterfall/fountain upclose

Colour the given templates with crayons provided and pass your coloured image to the staff who would scan it so that it comes alive with the lights.

Writing your name on the image helps to identify your image quickly.

Children love to run around and chase and step on the images to disperse them. They even make friends and play with one another.

The Evening Beverages and Canapes started at 4.30pm and ended at 7pm. I only realised that at 6.25pm! We had to rush back to Paiza Sky Residence and get as much food as we could before commencing to eat.

pho with beef slices and meatball

Lobster sushi, fish and beef cheek

roast meat, chicken chop cute and two other items I can't recall

Chicken chop cube and almond prawn ball

Desserts

This was so pretty I had to take a close-up of it

After dinner past 8, my mother went to the casino till 12.45am. I had fallen asleep by then and couldn't pick her up. She followed a lady who was at the casino back.

The next morning was a Monday. I left the hotel early for work while my 5th sister came at 9am to have breakfast with my mother before they left for home together in a limousine at 12pm again.

My Current Go-To Afternoon Tea

As I age, I realised I don't fancy eating sweets anymore. Not like I was a big fan of sweets when younger, though. Three-tier afternoon tea sets have at least one tier that consists of sweets which is a total waste. I would often pack them back just to throw them away or leave them untouched. I find that savouries on these tiered sets are not enough for me.

So Goodwood Park Afternoon Tea buffet (3pm to 5pm on weekends) is the natural choice for me.

The facade which is under renovation

The hotel seems to be under renovation quite frequently.

 

I don't go there every week but I vaguely remember the side of the hotel was also being renovated on one of my trips here some months ago.

The buffet is a spread of English and European tea items, consisting of mainly savouries. 

Most of the time, I walk in and ask for a one-seater. Today, I was informed that it was fully booked at 2.45pm. I was given the choice of waiting at the hotel lobby which is next to La Expresso till 3.15pm or first take up the outdoor seat overlooking the swimming pool and be transferred to the indoor seating area if a table is available. I took up the latter and was moved to the indoor seat about 10 minutes later.

My first time at Goodwood Park was at the pool area and didn't feel that the table and chairs were too high for an afternoon tea. Now that I am relatively seasoned at afternoon teas, I find the height quite uncomfortable. It feels more like a lunch or dinner table.

I was quite relieved that an indoor seat was quickly available. Never mind that it was at the farthest corner from the buffet table.

I was glad that I missed my breakfast in the morning. I was famished and went straight for my scones and clotted cream. I enjoyed the staff-recommended coffee flavoured scones apart from my safe original scones. While others eat their scones with clotted cream, I eat clotted cream, with scones to go with it.

I was delighted to see cream of mushroom offered as the soup of the day. I always wondered why they couldn't have something common and nice for the soup although pumpkin soup was fine.

My second course: the sandwiches. 

My favourite has to be the lobster croissant. 

I usually have at least two helpings.

Had some fried finger food: 

some cheese-stuffed bite, fish goujon, mexican drumlet and plant-based lasagne

roast beef, meat-lover pizza and lobster croissant again

Last course: (anti-clockwise) apple strudel, cheese croissant, white chocolate eclair and ... get this, 

stone crab salad with avocado & pineapple

Chef's Specials appear in the middle of the afternoon tea and it's not unlimited: Apple Strudel, Wagyu Beef Slider with Foie Gras and Caramelized Onion and Baked Chicken & Pumpkin Filo Pie

You will be informed by the ringing of a bell which some girls seated beside me mistook for an ice-cream bell.

Baked Chicken & Pumpkin Filo Pie

Tried previously. Just a chicken pie lah.

Wagyu Beef Slider with Foie Gras and Caramelized Onion

Tried previously too. A meaty beef burger lor. Didn't taste the foie gras.

The roast beef which I had enjoyed for the previous few times I went. Nowadays I just have a token piece.

The scones rack

I am not a nut person so I have never tried the nut scones. Scones are filling eats so I usually eat two in the spirit of an afternoon tea. The bread pudding at the bottom of the rack was good too.

The bill was $81.55 for one pax. I sat there from 3pm to 5pm, taking my time to eat.

Now I enjoy going to afternoon teas alone. I like eating alone and quietly. Perhaps this is what age does to you. I don't feel self-conscious or uneasy that I am alone at places where people gather for a meet-up anymore. I don't care if people think I am weird or a poor-thing to be at a hotel's afternoon tea alone. I pick up whatever food I like with my fingers and stuff it into my mouth instead of trying to cut the finger food up into even smaller pieces to fit my mouth. I don't feel like engaging in chit-chats nowadays. I think it's noisy if the people at the next table gossip or talk shop and wish I could eat in peace. I am not the most social person and am often awkward with conversations so I usually prefer being alone. In fact, I cannot think of a time I prefer to have company nowadays.

After my divorce, I find that I especially cherish and enjoy me time, alone. I guess it's a luxury I never had for 18 years. I was forced to fight all the time. Had to be ready to fight any time, any day. 

Domestic violence does not need to be proven with bruises.