The real reason for hating her job

I was out at Sakae Sushi with a friend and my kids.

We were sitting at a booth seat where we were back to back with other patrons.

Baby was standing on the seat. Suddenly, my friend gasped in shock and looked horrified! I was shocked to see her expression and asked what had happened.

She said,"Your baby touched that guy in blue!"

I was 'huh ...? ... So what? Very shocking meh?'

But I didn't verbalise how I felt, and continued to have my meal.

The patrons went away, and another set of patrons sat behind us.

After some time, my friend expressed displeasure,"Your child is looking at them (the patrons behind us)."

I said,"Oh, yeah."

She was quite upset that I didn't do anything about that, and sought to educate me,"If I were that person, I would scold your child."

I expressed puzzlement,"Why?"

She continued,"Because it's not right to stare at others. I would scold your child and then tell you off if I were her."

I replied, not without some incredulity,"Up till now, no one has been so nasty. She has always been doing that and people are fine with children looking at them."

She mellowed a bit,"It's okay if it's someone who has children or likes children, but if you meet someone who does not like children, she will scold your child."

I was like 'okay, if you say so.'

I am quite surprised that my friend is so easily irritated by a two-year-old. I am starting to understand why teaching to her is so painful, despite not having to do as many miscellaneous stuff as me. She has always complained to me about how hateful and nasty and horrible the children under her charge are although her school's intake has always been better than mine. I suspect that she does not even realise that she hates children.

I always thought that only a handful of self-centred men does not like children and that all women love, or at least 'like', children, since maternal instinct is natural in women. But that day, I witnessed how much dislike a woman can have for kids.

It was not the first time she told me what I should do to 'educate' my kids. All along, I had dismissed it as her good intention and that she probably did see the picture better as an outsider and wanted to help me be a better, and more considerate mother. Each time we talk about kids, she would criticise my parenting method, and how and what I should do for each situation.

But that day, I realised that it is always easy to say how parenting should be done when you don't have a child yourself. It is always easy to criticise how other parents are being inconsistent and not disciplining their children when you are totally single. It is even easier to say how you would treat your child ie. slap your child to discipline her when a child of your own is merely a figment of your imagination.

I know, because I had been there.

I'd always imagined how disciplined and consistent a parent I would be when I had a child. When I really had one, I realised that it was almost impossible to be consistent as a parent all your life. Perhaps there are parents like that, but I am not one.

I was shocked to see my friend frantically pressing the 'close' button in the lift to prevent others from entering the lift. I was even more shocked when she was visibly irritated as we got out of the lift. There were some people in the same lift and they inevitably blocked the path of my stroller out despite us saying 'excuse me'. My friend said,"These idiots are the reason why I don't like to share lifts with others. They block your way."

I had to differ,"But it's a public area. Of course someone will block your way."

I definitely do not want Coco and Baby to pick up such ungracious etiquettes.

Up till now, you would think that I hate my friend. I don't. I appreciate her showing her real side to me. All along, she had always been quite reserved in her opinion and not wanted to say much the moment she saw me not agreeing with what she said. I feel that she was treating me as a friend that she was showing her 'inconsiderate' and 'ugly' side that day, although I did experience quite a few episodes of culture shock. Despite living in Singapore all my life, I am still not quite Singaporean at heart.

That said, I will try not to bring my kids out with her the next time we meet.