Angry and Bitter

I screamed at him just now, at a photo-developing shop, over something really trivial.

After that, he pushed the pram across the road without waiting for the light to turn green and a car was coming towards him and the pram. I ran up and screamed at him again. I told him "If you want to die, don't take the baby down with you!" and "I wouldn't bother if you'd died, but you shouldn't drag the baby in!"

I know that deep down, it's not the trivial matter that made me exploded.

I am still angry with him. Very angry.

I feel miserable in this marriage.

I want to leave him.

I want to find someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. If not, I want to have some peace to myself, all by myself, with the kids.

I know that hatred is developing. From my resentment and bitterness towards him, stemmed from what he's done to my life.

I made it very clear to him and I couldn't afford to divorce another time.

But he let me down. Big time.

He 'changed' to a completely different man on the second day of our marriage.

He's a cheater, liar, gambler.

He did the opposite of whatever he'd promised before marriage.

He taught Coco 'Promises are made to be broken'.

I see nothing in him that's respectable, or worth respecting.

Yes, I despise him. And I for one, cannot live with something I despise so badly.

I too, have become someone I never was.

A chatfriend retorted,"Changed? You are destroyed by this marriage!"

He knew me before I knew William, so he is able to tell the vast difference between me then and now.

He urged me to leave William. Actually, who doesn't?

Sometimes - actually, most of the times, I feel like I'm sitting here till I die. I'm just wasting my life away, with this rotten bastard.

I'll never trust another Singaporean man again.

Singaporean men are bastards. Plain bastards. Their mothers are too busy working for their own bread and didn't have time to teach them how a man should treat his wife. In any case, their own bastard fathers taught them that wives are meant to slog for them, provide for them and when they reach home, continue to slog at home, cook, wash, do housework and take care of them.

Now I know why it's important to find a man whose family background is similar to yours. If you marry beneath you, you'll be shocked by how he perceived a marriage.

If he grows up in a poor family, with both parents working and the mother supporting the family in all ways, and when she comes home, still slogs her life away, you can be sure that he's going to expect the same from you. Just that he will treat you totally differently before marriage to con you into marrying him.

The big talks about all men should support the family are cheap, and empty. What they meant was, you need to support him.

This is Singporean men for you.