Being a parent is an ever-learning experience. There are so many times I know I've said words I shouldn't, out of anger or impulse. But sometimes, I really don't know if the words should be spoken or kept within. This is a very good guide on the words that shouldn't be said to a child - loosely translated as A Word Parents Should Not Say.
01 你怎么这么笨 - Why are you so stupid?I'm guilty of commiting this crime, although I tried to rephrase it by substituting the word 'stupid' with the label of a group of slow-learners in general.
02 连我的话都不听 - You don't even listen to me!
Guilty.
03 为什么别人行，你就不行 - Why can't you do it like others can?
Guilty.
04 怎么不说话了，哑巴了 - Why aren't you answering me? Have you turned mute?
05 你聋了？听不见我说的话 - Are you deaf? Can't you hear what I'm saying?
06 我没有你这样的儿子 - I do not have a son like you.
Guilty.
07 是我没本事，不能…… - I'm incapable/incompetence to provide you with ...
Very guilty.
08 妈妈求你了 - Please, Mummy beg of you
Slightly guilty.
09 滚吧．想去哪里就去哪里 - Go away! Just go wherever you want to go.
I say,"You can do whatever you want to do and Mummy won't be bothered about you anymore." Oops! It sounds worse, doesn't it?
10 再哭，让狼把你叼走 - Stop crying, or the wolf is coming for you.
11 看我不打死你 - I'm going to beat you to death.
12 这么大了还尿床 - Why do you wet your bed? You're such a big child now, for goodness' sake!
Guilty.
13 算了吧，你不是那块料 - Forget it. You're just not cut out for it.
14 这个玩具应该这样玩 - This toy should be played this way.
15 不要逞能，你还小着呢 - Don't force it. You're too young for this.
Guilty.
16 别缠着我 - Stop coming to me all the time!
17 都怪椅子，我们打它 - It's the chair's fault. Let's beat the chair.
Oh dear! This is what I always tell Baby whenever she knocks herself against something.
18 等你爸爸回来，看他怎么收拾你 - When your father returns, he's going to teach you a lesson.
19 雪糕吃多了，肚子里要生虫子的 - You'll have worms in your stomach if you eat too much ice-cream.
20 我像你这么大的时候…… - When I was your age ...
Goodness! I said this to Coco many many times!
21 磨蹭什么呀，急死人了 - Why are you dilly-dallying? It's exasperating!
22 不要给我丢脸 - Don't disgrace me.
23 要是没有你该多好 - How wonderful if I never had you!
24 哟，真是太阳从西边出来了 - My my! The sun has risen from the west!
25 为什么，为什么，哪有那么多为什么 - Why, why, why! Why do you have so many 'whys'?
26 不准失败 - Do not fail.
27 我让你赢一次 - I'll let you win once.
28 你这个懒虫，从来都不帮我做点事 - You're such a lazy pig. You've never offered your help.
29 还敢顶嘴 - You have the cheek to retaliate.
30 你这个忘恩负义的东西！ - You ingrate!
31 大人说话，小孩不许插嘴 - Do not interrupt when adults are talking.
Guilty.
32 不准哭 - Stop crying.
33 住嘴 - Shut up!
34 你学习去吧，其他事不用你管 - Just go and study. Don't worry about the rest of the things.
35 像你这个样子，长大了只有捡垃圾 - At the rate you're going, you're going to be a rubbish-collector when you grow up.
I've said something like that, about her not going to do well at PSLE.
36 光音乐学得好，有什么用？- What's the point of being good in music?
37 如果考100分，我就奖励10块钱 - I will reward you with $10 if you manage to get 100 marks for your exam.
Many parents have testified that the reward system does motivate children to perform and I too have been skewed towards this extrinsic motivational method.
38 不错不错，很好很好！Not bad, not bad. Very good, very good!
Oh dear, what's wrong with this statement? Isn't it supposed to be encouraging?
39 这个老师的水平太差了 - This teacher is lousy.
Oh yes, I've always tried to refrain from commenting on the standard of her teachers because I've seen how children stop learning when their parents criticise teachers in front of the children.
40 老毛病又犯了？- You're back to your old habit again.
41 不要难过，明天就会好了 - Don't be sad. Everything will be alright tomorrow.
42 你是全世界最美的女孩 - You're the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Yes, this I know. It'll disillusion the child when she realises that others may not think so.
43 你胖得像头猪 - You're as fat as a pig.
44 你怎么这么不懂事…… - Why are you so insensible?
45 你以前很乖，现在越大越不听话了。- You used to be a very obedient child, but you're not so anymore.
I say this to Coco so many times!
46 你竟敢用这种态度跟妈妈讲话 - How dare you adopt such a tone/attitude when you talk to me!
47 如果你下次再这样做…… - If you do this again ...
48 你做这种事真让我伤透了心 - You've broken my heart by doing this.
Oh dear, I've said this many times too! I thought it was good to pour out my heart to Coco and let her know how and why she had hurt me.
49 你脸皮真厚，要是我，早找个地缝钻进去了 - You have such thick skin. If it were me, I would have dug a hole in the ground and hidden myself in it.
50 你总是丢三落四，怎么没把人给弄丢了 - You're always losing things. Why don't you lose yourself too?
I say the first part of the statement whenever Coco loses her things.
51 是爸爸好，还是妈妈好 - Who is better - daddy or mummy?
Fortunately, or unfortunately, there's no comparison, and I never have to ask such a question.
52 胆小鬼，怕什么 - You're such a scaredy cat. What's there to be afraid of?
53 来，让算命先生给你算一卦 - Let's take a look at your fortune.
54 你早该知道这样做不对 - You should have known that this isn't the right thing to do.
I am guilty of saying this whenever Coco commits a mistake.
55 你早知道那样做才对 - You should have known that that was the right thing to do.
56 算了！下带你去了 - Alright, I'll take you there later on.
Er ... I don't see the problem with this.
57 你真是成事不足败事有余 - You are really capable at failing, aren't you?
58 他打你，你怎么不打他 - He's beaten you? Beat him back!
Haha, I had said this to Coco too! I thought that it's better to bully than to be bullied, like her timid mother.
I like the Chinese version of 'Children learn what they live':
生活在批评之中的孩子，学会了遣责
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
生活在敌意之中的孩子，学会了争斗
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
生活在恐惧之中的孩子，学会了忧虑
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive
生活在讽刺之中的孩子，学会了害羞
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
The full English version is found here.
一句话，可以改变孩子的一生。
A word can change the life of a child.
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