Saturday, 2 July 2016

Wait! I Can Explain.

I have been rather erratic in blogging especially this year, and probably the latter part of last year, because I am spending less time on the desktop computer and more time on my handphone.

During the time I appeared to have stopped blogging, I had still wanted to blog but we only have one computer at home and I didn't want my train of thought to be broken intermittently by William who uses the computer every hour, for five minutes or a few hours at a stretch.

I tried blogging via Safari on the phone but it didn't work. I would type half the post and get stuck halfway or 3/4 way because of some technical limitation - not sure what. I was not able to complete the whole post and I did not like to come back to a post to continue it after an extended period of time. The 'feel' is not the same anymore.

On top of that, I have been taking pictures with my iPhone. The technophobic in me is reluctant to learn new ways to transfer pictures from an iPhone onto the computer, and then upload them onto Blogspot. I have been getting lazy to transfer the pictures in my camera onto the computer as well. Having at least two external hard disks crashing on me and turning a few years of my photo-taking to ashes was a huge disincentive to saving pictures on external devices, and the computer gets slowed down to turtle pace when I save them on the desktop.

However, recently, I downloaded an app, Blog Touch, that allows me to blog on the phone, upload pictures directly from the phone (yay!), and save my posts as 'Draft' before I 'Publish' it from the computer.

It's a free app and I would have to pay for the app if I want to publish my posts directly from my phone, but coming to the computer to press the 'Publish' button is not that troublesome, and typing on the phone blinds us to glaring errors, so I save what I can and get to preview what I type before I click 'Publish'.

Technically speaking, I did consciously stop blogging for a while because I did not like what I had typed. I did not like the limited, pathetic and insipid vocabulary and sentences I was using. I felt like I was writing P2 or P3 compositions that had simple sentence structures like 'I went to the zoo. I saw the lion. I saw the giraffe. I was very happy. I went home.'

I felt discouraged and of course, stupid like hell. So I took a hiatus from blogging to see if I would get out of my insipid phase, but it became quite a long break. 

Another reason I didn't blog much was because I was going through a very difficult period in my life. Coco was a very difficult teenager last year. The situation was so bad I broke down a few times at work, suffered insomnia, cried every night before I went to sleep and cried in the morning when I woke up. Kind friends told me I had given my best and should not blame myself for what had happened, but it was too hard not to feel guilty for not doing more as a mother. Many times, I started to blog, but decided to stop halfway, or delete the posts, or simply save the posts as drafts, as I didn't think such posts would be edifying for Coco if she had read them. 

She has changed a lot for the better and taken responsibility for her own learning this year so I am able to focus my energy on the betterment of my physical and emotional being these few months and that's why I am able to blog more.

I am also blogging more because I am inspired by a blogger-mother who blogged every single day for a year, with a photo per day no less. I know that is a tall order. I wish I could say 'Hey, I am going to do just that: blog every single day.' but being too free-spirited a person I am, I might not be able to live up to that, but I will try to blog more frequently. When I read back on some of the stuff I had written, I would be surprised I had certain insights I don't remember having and sometimes, I would go 'Did that really happen?' or 'Did I really say that?'

It's fun!

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